Baby Fever

Should I give her the beans


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10fore

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OP,
If you do not mind me asking, what is the estimated timeline? If it is within the next year or two, start a separate savings account and make monthly contributions to help offset any costs you may incur along the way, and to help with expenses later on. I also highly encourage your wife to sign up for AFLAC or an equivalent so that when she’s on maternity leave, assuming that she works, she will still have some type of income.

Daycare does get expensive, but as your child ages, the cost goes down. Make sure that you physically visit several and get a feel for each one before making a decision. We toured some of the highest rated facilities in our area, and upon inspection, knew they were not a good fit for us. (Lacking security, poorly trained staff, etc.)

My wife and I were roughly the same age as you and your spouse when we welcomed our first child into the world, and it has been absolutely amazing. We actually have another on the way, less than two years later, and cannot wait. Speaking frankly, none of my hobbies, nor my wife’s, were impacted. I still home-brew a few times a month, tinker with our cars, and have a social life. Just because you have a child does not mean your life is put on hold. You just adapt and do things in a different manner. Plus, having a kid gives you an awesome excuse to not hang out with people you’d rather not see.

-Tyler
 

nxhappy

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daycare is so ****ing expensive. For us it was better for my wife to stay home. So now my wife is pretty much retired...lol. Second on the list is formula. And then diapers. Don't worry about "saving money". Things just work out when you have a baby. You learn to cut costs and sell shit you don't need.
 

Adower

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It’s just a car. If it’s paid off let it sit for a few years. If you want kids and are ready there is nothing else that compares.
 

IronSnake

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We are thinking in the next year. We had a good discussion regarding finances and a loose "plan". I just want our ducks in a row, pay some fun debt off, and reduce the size of our monthly so we can be very comfortable.

I might look into that short term. I didn't even consider doing it outside of her work. She doesn't have but I think 3 months worth of leave for maternity reasons on her work plan.
 

10fore

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Although it might sound super granola, look into the cloth diaper route. Diapers are definitely a large expense, and having gone with cloth has saved a lot of money. We were originally supposed to have twins, so it made a lot of sense then. We unfortunately lost one, but stuck with the cloth and haven't looked back. I was a little unsure at first, but I honestly prefer them over the disposables.
 

Need 04 Wine

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It’s like saying you don’t like something before tasting it.

You will never know if you don’t.

My oldest is 5. So far Shit is cheap and mostly free. As every single person you know with kids will be looking to clear out some of their crap.


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colin450

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If you both want kids just go for it. My wife and I are both 31 and had our first a month ago. Your hobbies don't disappear because you have a baby. Just need to manage your time, and make sure your wife gets an equal amount of time if there's something that she wants to do. Nothing better than coming home from work and holding your baby. It's worth it.
 

Stateguy

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Just skip the kid and go straight to the grandkids. Much more fun.

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CV355

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Not to hijack, but side-question that doesn't deserve its own thread. If someone works from home, could watching an infant be viable, or is it so demanding that there's no way it could be done? Assume the number of working hours do not change (meaning a 30m interruption adds 30m to the end of the day, same work output)
 

PaxtonShelby

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Sure - just install a Velcro wall and West noise-canceling headphones.


But no - 99% of the time you can’t watch an infant while WFH.
 

Crazycarl

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I will add, if your wife is up to it and is medically able to (have a friend who cant due to previous piercings), breastfeeding saved a ton. No need to buy formula.
 

IronSnake

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I'd say you can't work from home with an infant in general. Even if momma is home and you're working away in the office, good lawd best of luck
 

Zemedici

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Not to hijack, but side-question that doesn't deserve its own thread. If someone works from home, could watching an infant be viable, or is it so demanding that there's no way it could be done? Assume the number of working hours do not change (meaning a 30m interruption adds 30m to the end of the day, same work output)

imo no

requires 100% of your attention. The second you look away is when they bash their head on something, or find scissors to play with.
 

Zinc03Cobra

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Do it.

There's a four year difference between my wife and I. I wanted children right around your age (30) and she wasn't having it (at 26). It took a few more years after that conversation for her to get around to the idea of children. Eventually we had our first in 2016 and got really screwed with twins in 2019. We're financially stable, own a home, have our *stuff* together like responsible adults. She works 1 day a week to get that normal adult interaction.

I have three little girls now. After much discussion and the idea of trying for that boy, our doctor informed us we could have a have twins again. The idea of 5 girls, much less 5 children, is not for me.

It's great you're thinking this through. They are a big lifelong commitment. Good luck.
 

Mpoitrast87

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Do it.

There's a four year difference between my wife and I. I wanted children right around your age (30) and she wasn't having it (at 26). It took a few more years after that conversation for her to get around to the idea of children. Eventually we had our first in 2016 and got really screwed with twins in 2019. We're financially stable, own a home, have our *stuff* together like responsible adults. She works 1 day a week to get that normal adult interaction.

I have three little girls now. After much discussion and the idea of trying for that boy, our doctor informed us we could have a have twins again. The idea of 5 girls, much less 5 children, is not for me.

It's great you're thinking this through. They are a big lifelong commitment. Good luck.
I'm specifically looking for a girl 4-5 years younger than me solely for the fact that most women wants kids around 24-27. I don't want kids til at least 30. I'm 25 now.
 

Blk04L

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Hope your wife doesn't have bad morning sickness. Going for #2 and she's bedridden, again. Like can't hold down water bad.

Might be a good way to limit the amount of kids lol.
 

CV355

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imo no
requires 100% of your attention. The second you look away is when they bash their head on something, or find scissors to play with.

What about during infancy? Like, before they can crawl around and such? Could a crib/playpen be next to the home office desk? Only concern I can think of is if the thing screams during a conference call or does a nuclear-dook or something that could pull me away from the phone. 10%-50% of my day is on the phone depending on the day.
 

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