Adjusting to Civilian Life

FJohnny

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But that isn't the case here is it? The guy gave us lots of information. Yet you hypocritically act like he is owed a happy life which is actial bullshit. Nobody owes you a happy life. Nobody owes you anything but what they agreed to give you.

Don't placate the man like he is some foolish child looking for sweets instead of substance.

Good one. You had me going for a moment there. That hypocrite comment is a pretty good one to fire someone up. Maybe I can be a little clearer.

The man served twenty years for his country. Yes, I think he deserves our gratitude, respect and to be treated with dignity for that. If you think otherwise, it's a free country. More power to you.

No one can be given happiness from someone else. That's on them. But I think the man has earned it and hope he can find the means to that end for himself. And if there is anything anyone can do to make his journey easier then it's a good thing.

As far as the 'nobody owes you anything but what they agreed to give you' stuff..... Well, thank God that America is not made up of people who all believe that. The most generous nation on earth gives more of everything to more people than any other country in the world. It's amazing, it's inspiring and it's the right thing to do. I get that there will always be people that think they should take care of only themselves and that's okay. As long as there are enough other people to step up and extend a hand when someone needs it we will always make out okay. And one day when you need an assist I hope help is there for you as well.

I wish you all the best.
 

Makobra

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As far as the 'nobody owes you anything but what they agreed to give you' stuff..... Well, thank God that America is not made up of people who all believe that.

yeah? I bet you're about to assert that charity is owed.

The most generous nation on earth gives more of everything to more people than any other country in the world. It's amazing, it's inspiring and it's the right thing to do. I get that there will always be people that think they should take care of only themselves and that's okay. As long as there are enough other people to step up and extend a hand when someone needs it we will always make out okay. And one day when you need an assist I hope help is there for you as well.

I wish you all the best.

oh THERE it is. you aren't talking about what people are OWED you're talking about CHARITY. the fact that nobody owes you anything (and they don't) is the very BASIS for the significance of charity.

This is what the socialists get wrong and its why their countries fail time and time again while nations like america that are built largely on the idea that you get what you put in regularly bail them out. this goes for america's attic especially.
 

FJohnny

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yeah? I bet you're about to assert that charity is owed.



oh THERE it is. you aren't talking about what people are OWED you're talking about CHARITY. the fact that nobody owes you anything (and they don't) is the very BASIS for the significance of charity.

This is what the socialists get wrong and its why their countries fail time and time again while nations like america that are built largely on the idea that you get what you put in regularly bail them out. this goes for america's attic especially.

LOL. How exactly did you do that?

Took a thread about a guy hoping to get some useful insights into his personal situation and turned it into an anti socialism rant where you make it clear you don't owe anyone anything, especially charity. I'm completely okay with that. Do whatever makes you happy. It's the benefit of living in a relatively free society.

What I actually assert is that OP and people like him have all done their bit to protect the ability of opinionated A-holes like you and me to spout whatever and do whatever we want to. Because of this invaluable service they have so willingly provided I'm asserting that they deserve our admiration, thanks and any help possible to adjust as OP detailed.

Don't worry, I'm not saying you owe it. I get that you're not into that.

Not really clear on why you have to bail out your attic although I've heard of the flooding in Texas. Bailing is hard and I hope people helped you with the job. Not because they owed you.

Anyways, maybe we can just agree to disagree? You owe me that. (Just kidding. You owe me nothing.)

Have a good day. I'm off to golf so I will, too. We deserve it!
 

Makobra

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oh that wasn't anti socialism, it was anti-what-fuels-socialism and if your philosophical disposition is infected with that garbage, well, i can't help that. confusing WAGES and CHARITY is stupid. don't do it. a wage is what you are owed. charity is what you've been graciously given. get it right. or don't. that's your problem.
 

mysticsvt

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I'm good, everybody good? I don't expect anything for the record. I appreciate those who give respect to those who served, I give respect to those who have served. My Grandfather served, my dad a Marine did two years in Vietnam and was destroyed internally for it. This post wasn't something I would have normal if ever put out there. I did and I got what I needed and a good but of criticism to go along with it but I can process all that. As I said it was just asking for insight on how other's dealt with the transition. I appreciate everyone's input regardless of what was said. I hope, that when everyone has a day like I had, that someone is there for them. Honestly.
 

97desertCobra

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You most definitely saw racism in your time in. You’re just choosing to see your 20 years through rose colored glasses. All this “the military is so great” BS in this thread lolololololo. The military is so structured because 99% of the ****wits in couldn’t lead a drop of rain to the ground. Let’s be honest here; you probably had some sort of authority while you were in and now don’t have it and you want those around you to fit a mold. But you can’t do shit about it. You just want to control others.

You sound like an E-4 on a Disgruntled Veterans FB post.

OP, your gonna have to come to terms with the fact that the civilian sector is worlds different from the military. You’ve been out for a bit so maybe what you are experiencing is a longing for something familiar. Maybe get involved in a veterans group? Perhaps a non profit that helps other veterans?

It was said earlier that you need a hobby and I agree. Something besides just a car. Something to bridge that gap between work and relaxation. Give a little bit of purpose besides the normal grind.

I’ve been in the NG for 16 years so I see both ends. For some people the military becomes synonymous with their personal identity and once they leave the military it gets real hard to adjust. My military service doesn’t define who I am. It’s a big part of my life and has had a monumental impact on my life but it’s not what makes me, me.
 

97desertCobra

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Where in god's name does this bullshit come from. If you served and pulled this from your service, you ****ing got it wrong.

The service may preach esprit de corps, service before self, honor and integrity, but arrogance to civilians ain't one of them. That a service member might miss serving with people who have been taught those things is not really so shocking. Goddamn is there some stupid shit in this thread.

The attitude towards civilians is not taught but it definitely permeates throughout the military. In my experience it’s largely prevalent in the combat arms fields as they already hold themselves in higher regard compared to the support jobs. And infantry hold themselves higher than all of combat arms. It’s all stupid bullshit. An infantryman is no better than a fueler. The jobs are different but they both serve. One is inherently more dangerous, the other slightly more useful outside the military. Neither is better than a civilian who never served. Just different paths people took in life.
 

gimmie11s

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First off, I would say do away with the arrogant attitude about civilians. The military does plenty to indoctrinate us with this idea about how we are superior to civilians because we are tough and determined to accomplish our mission and they are just stupid, lazy, and lack situational awareness. You can be proud of your service and all that you accomplished but you how can you feel proud and good about yourself that you survived 20 years in the military yet cant handle life as a civilian, literally the most normal thing... civilian life is normal. You cant say you are good at adapting and overcoming if you can't return to the thing that you already spent the first half of your life doing.

It's all mental because the military has taught you to be arrogant and overly prideful about being a service member. You need to take from your service what is genuinely useful and relevant to civilian life but then literally do away with the rest of it, and that begins with self-reflection. Plenty of us have made the transition and all of us went through this where we looked at the people around us that we worked and lived with and analyzed how we could fit in with them while not abandoning everything we picked up from our time in. If you truly believe you can adapt and overcome anything then you can adapt to this since you already have at least 18 years experience doing it. But look at your own attitude and feelings to start.


This x 1 million! Such a great post right here.

Why is it that most military folks are the first to talk about their ultimate mental and physical bad assery, yet they have such high rates of PTSD and inability to "adapt to civilian life".... LMFAO.. whatever that means.

Some of you guys need to get over your god damn selves and as was said above, make yourself relevant to this "new world" of inferior civilians once you get out.
 

Klaus

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"You think that you DESERVE to be happy? What makes you so special? We live and then we die. Get over yourself."

~my badass grandmother
 

_Snake_

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This x 1 million! Such a great post right here.

Why is it that most military folks are the first to talk about their ultimate mental and physical bad assery, yet they have such high rates of PTSD and inability to "adapt to civilian life".... LMFAO.. whatever that means.

Some of you guys need to get over your god damn selves and as was said above, make yourself relevant to this "new world" of inferior civilians once you get out.

Some of us get it, but it doesn’t seem you do.

What branch were you in?
 

ZEN357

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I realize this pertains to like a fifth of the board if not much less. Perspective however from either side of the fence is welcomed. The one thing I do love about this forum is the brutal honesty.
Last night at work with a splitting headache I sorta digressed in a few mental/emotional aspects. Let me be clear that I have never killed anyone, served in combat, have PTSD and in no means attempting to take any light away from those who desperately need our help. But realize that just because others need more help does not mean ours should not be addressed. I did serve 20 years of which 4 trips to the Middle East of three years, safe place for the most part...Bahrain. The issue isn't what I've been through but after 20 years adjusting back to dealing with Civilians. Few example....you think Bob a few cubicles down is a swell guy right...you guys do lunch periodically. Would you die for Bob? The aspects of Military life the highs and especially the lows we create bonds that are indescribable. I no longer have that, Civilian's..don't have that and I miss that camaraderie. Another....you know when I saw real racism for the first time? After I left the Military and came back to the Civilian sector. Blew my mind. So racist I had to put this guy in check immediately and rather firmly. Al I see anymore is White and Black. It's this little picture we see everyday because that's all there is. News Flash..when you're deployed around the world (insert black guys name) is your brother...another American, one you would die for. Leaving that mindset to come back to this small picture sucks ass. I honestly hate this touchy feely atmosphere where I can't even be myself. I wonder if the touchy feeling is killed early on in a Military Career. Maybe I'm just not a bitch and never have been. I text my wife last night from work and asked her if I she felt I had anger issues. I've literally about jerked 3 people out of their vehicles for stupid shit. She said I was just having issues adjusting to Civilian life. I retired in 13...why is this coming to a head now? The political stance of this country is so jacked up right now that that doesn't help. That in itself is another discussion for Smack Down cause I'm not getting through that without choice words. Everything seem so dull..leveled out..blah.
That's the tip of the iceberg...sorry if you read through that...appreciate it though.
Time to go wrench on the Mustang.....

Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I did for my PTSD and it did wonders for me and my mental health.
 

97desertCobra

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Ah hahaha. yes.. the ol "you never served so you suck" approach.

Nice touch.

That’s not it, it’s that your criticizing something for which you have no experience in and can’t properly understand.

Someone can be very physically fit and mentally tough yet still suffer from PTSD. Having PTSD does not mean someone is weak. I don’t suffer from PTSD and I consider myself lucky. Everyone processes shared experiences differently. Even though we were in the same firefight just a few feet from each other. Some of my comrades recall feeling hopeless in combat and that feeling of terror has had a lasting effect on them.
 

BigFatMatt

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So you have an ignorant opinion...say it isn't so.

I wouldn't say he has an ignorant opinion, I'd say he has a (somewhat harsh) civilian's opinion.... are you only looking for responses from people in the military, or from civilians as well?

My younger brother is a pilot in the Air Force, I am a civilian and I can see first hand how he has changed since joining the military. For us civilians, the closest thing I can compare it to is a fraternity. All of his buds have the same attitude, act the same, and for the most part only hang out with each other and talk about military stuff. When I partied with him a couple times it always felt like his friends were anxious and nervous talking to me about my "normal stuff" like my job, my family, etc... just normal shit civilians talk about every day.

He definitely drinks a lot more liquor than I do (and I'm no lightweight) so that does concern me some about his health. Lots of guys in the military drink to get drunk on a regular basis it seems.

It has to be a hard transition leaving the military for a job in the civilian world because now everyone acts differently, has different opinions, different social circles... you can't talk about the same things when you socialize because no one will know what the hell you're talking about. I can see how it would be rough.

My brother has never had a "real" job in his life. He finished pilot training as soon as he graduated from college and has been flying ever since. He's extremely smart and studious and made straight As in college, but he's never had to work for a civilian boss and be the "low man" on the totem pole before. I'm not sure if he would transition very well. He's the kind of guy who seems to enjoy a very structured lifestyle.

I'm extraordinarily proud of him and what he's accomplished, and he's an very hard worker so I'm sure these traits will benefit him post-military. I'm just worried about the lack of structure after he's done, and if he will be able to adjust to something completely unfamiliar to him after all the years of routine.
 

mysticsvt

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Awesome post and I appreciate it. Pretty much hit the nail on the head for me. You get to see it first hand even if it isn't you directly going through it. It's just way different and affects us differently as mentioned earlier. Those who see more "shit" for lack of better terms could understandably have more issues to deal with. My mother talks about how my Dad was before and after Vietnam in the Marines. My uncles talk about his much of a baddass he was and they are some pretty serious guys themselves. When he came back they say he was dead inside, withdrawn in every aspect. I can't compare my career to his however, understandable...atleast to some. I appreciate your brother's service and glad to see you do as well.
 
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_Snake_

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Ah hahaha. yes.. the ol "you never served so you suck" approach.

Nice touch.

Although it would fit your narrative I didn't say you suck, nor was I going to.

However, you do have a very strong (and inaccurate) opinion for someone who doesn't have the same life experiences.
 

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