Blended Family Parenting Advice

My daughter goes through similar episodes. She is 4 and we have care of my niece who is two. Sometimes she's a good big sister type. Other times is as you say a hellion.

Couple times a week she gets thrown in her room screaming until she gets it together. I legit just let her sit there until she figures it out and most the time it works.

Also the 1 on 1 stuff is helpful at least for us. The youngest goes to visit her dad once a week for a few hours and the break from it all does help. So may be worth some alone time if you can swing it

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Make time for the three year old, and spend some one on one time. The other kids are old enough to understand. Different kids will have different needs at different times. My wife and I blended families 5 years ago (her twin 8 year old girls, my 13 year old twin girls and 11 year old boy). There will be ups and downs, but your situation is easier than trying to blend teens.

Don’t enable the kid like your ex is doing. It’s harder to do the right thing but parenting is not a popularity contest for your kids attention. It’s the most important job you’ll ever have. Keep up the good work

BrunotheBoxer said:

My father used to punch me in the mouth closed fist when I was a young boy. He once hit me so hard that I dented the family Buick and when I complained to my mother about it she attacked me with a aluminum bat and said to me and I quote. “We are not raising little tiny phaggots in this house.”
Look how stable and zen like I turned out. Cereal.

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lmao!.. Bruno.. you kill me bro. Sounds like a healthy Italian family.

Kids acting out want attention because they're not getting it.

Spend more time with them.

Thats it...thats the advice

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How did we get on all the “he needs more attention” kick? Maybe he gets too much and he’s spoiled.

I mean I get there may be some confusion or whatever with the split family, life sucks.

Three yr olds are supposed to be little shits.

Can’t believe how soft SVTP is on this.

I’m assuming you’ve tried to talk to him and told him not to hit people?

Slap the shit out of him next time. If it doesn’t work after awhile, try something else.


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MG0h3 said:

How did we get on all the “he needs more attention” kick? Maybe he gets too much and he’s spoiled.

I mean I get there may be some confusion or whatever with the split family, life sucks.

Three yr olds are supposed to be little shits.

Can’t believe how soft SVTP is on this.

I’m assuming you’ve tried to talk to him and told him not to hit people?

Slap the shit out of him next time. If it doesn’t work after awhile, try something else.


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Clearly the problem is he's a budding Bernie Bro and needs to get off his Diaper and get a damn job already.

Damn chimneys aren't going to sweep themselves.

I just want to point out that kids can be very selfish without realizing it. I don't think its fair to knock OP saying his isn't spending enough time with the 3 year old. My oldest (6) recently had a phase where he was being kind of a dick, arguing about every little thing. Finally he came out and said "you guys never spend anytime with me."

We had to remind him of all the things he does by himself while his brother and sister are at home. Reminded him about how is always the first one to do something, and how he gets more alone time with a parent (mostly because he's older and its easier to let him tag along). You could see his little mind think about as we talked about it. He's been way better ever since. He's much more aware now of when its a special time for him.

Being 3 is frustrating. You are starting to understand so much more, and want to be involved, but still lack alot of the skills to be like the older family members. Don't let your frustrations get the best of you. Keep reinforcing boundaries. They eventually will give up haha.

BrunotheBoxer said:

when I complained to my mother about it she attacked me with a aluminum bat and said to me and I quote. “We are not raising little tiny phaggots in this house.”

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My advice is hire Bruno as a nanny

blk02edge said:

My advice is hire Bruno as a nanny

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I’d have that little bastid in the gym doin a 4 day split workin out for 90 minutes straight and he would not be allowed to do cardio then it’s on to the beach and we’ll smoke trees together.

Little shit will nevah complain about another thing. Ever.

I don't have a blended family but our youngest is the handful at times.

What I have found works with her is firm, calm non baby talk type conversation. Even when she could barely talk I could get her to take medicine when my wife couldn't because of the way I talked to her. She was a baby but didn't like being talked to like one. Kind of odd I know but it works for me.

BrunotheBoxer said:

I’d have that little bastid in the gym doin a 4 day split workin out for 90 minutes straight and he would not be allowed to do cardio then it’s on to the beach and we’ll smoke trees together.

Little shit will nevah complain about another thing. Ever.

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I rest my case

i watched this and it said to take the family on an African trip.

My 8 year old can be a giant shit, my fige year old can be a giant shit, and the 2 year old (tomorrow) is the best one currently.
MmMy wife and I have way too many fights about parenting than I would consider healthy.

Both of the older boys pick up on it and know what to do to divide us and then get mynwife on their side.

Its frequently a disaster. I’d wager that your 3 year old is acting/being treated differently than you expect.

Kids are smart. That’s my guess.


Also, kids are just savages in general. Their purpose is to shorten a parents life expectancy.

13COBRA said:

OP is a ******.

My wife and I have four kids together. Nine, seven, 3 and 1.5 years old.

The nine and seven year old are hers from a previous marriage.
The three year old is mine from a previous marriage.
The youngest, is ours together.

The older two are great. I love them just like they're my own and rarely have any issues with them. The three year old is a hellion. He is incredibly hateful towards our youngest.

I grew up with two younger brothers, so I know there is always wrestling or arguing going on; but he's different than that. He's constantly acting out and causing issues. On top of this, he's incredibly sensitive (read as: cries over anything).

I'm the exact opposite of that, so naturally it drives me absolutely insane.

What the heck do I do?

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He's jealous and needs/expects more attention from you. He might possibly also feel left out.

Haven't read any additional posts but I'm guessing he's an only child between you are your ex.

Something to consider. Consult a psychologist who may give you insight and formulas relative to the needs and concerns of each member of your blended family, especially given the different ages and emotional development of each child. With a skilled, talented, and ethical psychologist, you may be enlightened to issues about which you were unaware and practical methods to have a happier family. The consultation with the right professional is like having the right tool for the job after you know what the real problem is. Just a thought. I wish you well.

This. Get a child's harness and some rappel rope. Get up on the roof together. Kick him off so he is dangling just below the roof top. Tell him when he stops crying you will let him off. Do not relent, he wants you to cave so he can have the power.

I popped my boy in the mouth once because for some reason at nine he thought he would say something disrespectful and hurtful to his mom. Now, I just have to give him the look of he strays. The pop was more a closed finger tip slap on the lips. It was lightning fast and effective. He was so shocked it took a couple seconds before he started to cry. I told him, see how you feel on the outside is how your mom feels on the inside.

I am not eager to spank but the red lines must be defended.

MG0h3 said:

How did we get on all the “he needs more attention” kick? Maybe he gets too much and he’s spoiled.

I mean I get there may be some confusion or whatever with the split family, life sucks.

Three yr olds are supposed to be little shits.

Can’t believe how soft SVTP is on this.

I’m assuming you’ve tried to talk to him and told him not to hit people?

Slap the shit out of him next time. If it doesn’t work after awhile, try something else.


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OK Bozos, stop clowning around.

i know i've already commented on this thread, but i feel like i may have something to add for OPs future..

my step kids are currently 23,17,14,11 and my adopted son is 11... for the last 4-5 years, i have been preaching that at 18 years old, they are moving the hell out and doing their own adult thing.. i'm not raising nobody else's kids, certainly not grandkids.. i think that has let the whole family know what my plans are for the future with their mom.. and i tell them all the time, as soon as the youngest of yall move out, we're selling the house, and if my new shop is built, we're adding an apartment above my office.. then im going buy a Lamborghini or Ferrari.. **** all yall

Did you try turning him off and then on again?

I stopped reading after the second page. Someone who also works ALOT, and has a step child that acted out when little and got everything she wanted from her dad (his parents). I dont think it has to do with spending massive amounts of 1:1 time with the 3 y/o, sounds like he has a great support system and actual expectations when hes with you. On your baby mommas side lies the issue IMO, he gets away with murder and is spoiled rotten. Expectations need to be set and both parents need to be on the same page. Sounds like love is trying to be bought on the other side. Like I said, ive been there and done that. It took me having a civil conversation with my step daughters dad. Unfortunately, split/shared parenting is becoming the norm these days. It takes adults actually being grown ups and being on the same page on how a child is going to be raised.

JJackson515 said:

Did you try turning him off and then on again?

I stopped reading after the second page. Someone who also works ALOT, and has a step child that acted out when little and got everything she wanted from her dad (his parents). I dont think it has to do with spending massive amounts of 1:1 time with the 3 y/o, sounds like he has a great support system and actual expectations when hes with you. On your baby mommas side lies the issue IMO, he gets away with murder and is spoiled rotten. Expectations need to be set and both parents need to be on the same page. Sounds like love is trying to be bought on the other side. Like I said, ive been there and done that. It took me having a civil conversation with my step daughters dad. Unfortunately, split/shared parenting is becoming the norm these days. It takes adults actually being grown ups and being on the same page on how a child is going to be raised.

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A civil conversation isn't impossible, but it also ends in nothing changing haha

We'll discuss it over a beer when your car gets here.