Definitely no joke tomorrow, I'll either be blissfully asleep or trying to wake up. Hopefully Friday I can return to form.
An old man and his old wife have been married for 40 years. Every year for their anniversary, the husband would take his wife to the state Fair.
Every year there was a man...
When you find a good wife you not only get a best friend and companion, you also receive a driving instructor for life.
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Yes. I worked on a Friday. But not the next two Fridays....
But I'll be home recuperating from hip surgery, so the jokes should continue.
I mean what the hell else am I going to do. :unsure:
For the new truck. All prepared to have the level kit and wheels installed last week except they forgot to send the front coil springs and one of the wheels was damaged. Springs arrived on Friday, wheel is due today. Scheduled to be completed tomorrow. Pics forthcoming of complete package.
I’m confused how a funeral home can raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living.
Sometimes I read a text and thing “what a psycho”.
Then I press send.
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Finally Friday! I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Woman: No one will ever know I bought this dress at Ross for 7 dollars!
Stranger: “I love your dress!”
Woman: “Girrlll, I got it at Ross for 7 dollars!!”
If you get lost in the woods, find a possum and follow it. You’ll be in the middle of...
An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station.
The officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the wanted fugitives in the USA.
One little boy points to the picture first in line and says, “He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?”
The officer...
My wife was mad at me so she wanted to disgrace me in the presence of her friends; she said I wasn’t good in bed.
It backfired when they all disagreed with her.
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Very mild winter.
Edge of the earthquake.
Not quite the total eclipse.
Edge of the cicada outbreak.
Makes me think somewhere down the road, in the not to distant future, we gonna have it handed to us. Add to that my luck in nearly everything lately has been bad, I wanna go hide for a year or so.
At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take...
Yes, actually working a Friday. :(
I hope everyone has a great weekend. An earthquake was reported about an hour ago in the NY/NJ area, hope all is well from that and we are free from more shaking and quaking over the weekend.
Today's joke is more of a pondering of life, but makes a good point...
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."...
And this guy. This is a Great Blue heron, a wading bird. In the middle of the woods.
To be fair, the edge of the woods is about 20 yards to the left and a stream is about 30 yards to the right. It's clear enough for him to walk through.
I change my cards weekly. Only stills, no video - eats batteries and card space. We don't have bears here, so no chance of that. I hope to catch anything cool, but mostly for my deer hunting. We do have coyotes around, but I have never gotten any pictures that I was SURE was a yote.
Osprey...
On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian’s waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the...
I think most people know I am a hunter and I use deer/trail cams. I normally keep mine out way past the end of hunting season just to see what's happening and I am still feeding the deer and birds.
To my surprise, when checking my cameras this week, caught a little American freedom in flight...
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck: "We'd love to get into...