To make a long story short I have a friend that recently shared some sensitive information with me while he was drunk, and while I do respect him for doing so I also feel like his conscience was weighing on him and I do not appreciate the stipulation he put on his sensitive info. I thought about it a lot in a sense that if it got out what the repercussions would be and it just seems to be a weight on me now when my group of friends get together. He didn't go into detail but he basically told me that he messed around/did something with a friend of ours wife at a recent party, and then said he trusted me because I was the only one he had told this to. He then goes on stating that if any of this got out that he would automatically know it was me, and that it would ruin all of our friendships forever, but I keep thinking what if said friends wife says something? Or if she tells her husband which is our friend and he decides to say something? I honestly don't care what happened or what he does in his life I just kind of hate that he draws me into it by saying if any of it gets out that he automatically knows it was me. I kind of feel like keeping my distance now from my group of friends, but I don't want a "secret" keeping me from my group of friends. Any of you guys/girls been in a similar situation or am I just paranoid and let life happen?
A friend that shares sensitive info...
- Thread starter MIDTNSVT
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I would want to know..
It may have been the first time shes done something like this or the tenth.
you will be the bad guy in the end, if it comes out and you are best buds
It may have been the first time shes done something like this or the tenth.
you will be the bad guy in the end, if it comes out and you are best buds
Don't need friends like that.
I fail to see why you would protect a friend who messed around with another friends wife. Last thing you need is it getting out and the others learning you knew the whole time. Besides if it was a drunk confession, how do you know he hasn't confessed the same to another friend?
Get the other friends in your circle together, discuss and figure out how to inform the guy who got cheated on. The other could use a blanket party.
Get the other friends in your circle together, discuss and figure out how to inform the guy who got cheated on. The other could use a blanket party.
I guess I'm the odd man out, I wouldn't say anything.
He was drunk, he might have made up the whole story...Even if it's true, it takes two to tango. If they had balls enough to mess around at a party, they will get caught soon enough.
He was drunk, he might have made up the whole story...Even if it's true, it takes two to tango. If they had balls enough to mess around at a party, they will get caught soon enough.
Wow. Tough situation but he put you in a really bad spot for what...to ease his conscience?
I dont know the whole dynamic but maybe confide in your best friend. Might save you some grief if/when this all blows up.
god...sorry you are in this situation. if it were my friend, and he told me he cheated on X, then I would basically unfriend him. Cheating is a whole new ball game. I would keep quiet, and distance your self from the group. It will blow up sooner or later within the couples, and if you are quiet, you won't be in the picture. JMO
I could see blow back from the old lady...main reason Id be pissed honestly. That and it was a total douche move.
How drunk was he? Will he even remember telling you?
If he does not bring it up again, I would act as if it never happened.
Were you drinking too? if so, pull the old "I don't remember anything about that" if it ever comes up again.
If he does not bring it up again, I would act as if it never happened.
Were you drinking too? if so, pull the old "I don't remember anything about that" if it ever comes up again.
All my friends and I have stayed extremely close since we were kids. Their wives and my wife are now very close as well. So I can't imagine this staying under wraps forever. I would try to sleep on it for a bit. It may not be the right thing to do but I think I would just let it go and keep it quiet. If they did this at a party where I assume other friends and significant others were around it will come out eventually. It sucks but sometimes the messenger gets the shit as well. Either way he potentially put you in a real shitty situation.
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This was my absolute first thought. A "friend" would not tell you something that would put you in a very difficult position and then pile on by saying that if it ever gets out to others that he'll know it was you. No, friends do not do that to friends. Also, it is very possible that you're not the only one he told. My experience is that people who tell me that "nobody else knows this" is usually not being truthful. Just had a case this week where a friend confided in my about a personal matter and said that I was the only person he told. Not even his wife knows. Well, a day later my wife tells me that this friend's wife told her something personal, and guess what, it was the exact same thing that I was told. Guess he must have "forgotten" that he told his wife. So I just know that others likely know as well.
This is a shitty situation to be put in. He is not a friend.
He is a total scumbag for ****ing around with someone else's wife, and she is a ****ing whore for doing it. I don't care how much alcohol they had. It's not an excuse.
When you get older, you will see that your close inner circle of friends dwindle down to a handful of real friends. It will shock you 10yrs down the road, when you look back at people you thought were your friends.
He is a total scumbag for ****ing around with someone else's wife, and she is a ****ing whore for doing it. I don't care how much alcohol they had. It's not an excuse.
When you get older, you will see that your close inner circle of friends dwindle down to a handful of real friends. It will shock you 10yrs down the road, when you look back at people you thought were your friends.
I wouldn't dwell on it and just do your best to forget about it.
If you say something, you risk your friend lying about it instead of coming clean and then you look like the bad guy with nothing better to do than start shit. He might not seem like the guy to do that but people do funny things in these kinds of situations. You don't know what your friend will do or not do to try to save his marriage including lying about what he told you, making up stories about you and frankly doing anything he can to save his ass while making YOU look like the bad guy. His wife will hate you, he'll hate you, and any friends closer to them than you will likely also hate you.
If you don't say anything, of course you can look like the bad guy if they found out you knew but hopefully enough time will pass before then that you can say you forgot about it, or something. Start thinking of excuses now haha.
Of course that might not be what happens, this is just one likely and unfortunate scenario. I've seen and heard happen several times. It happened to me once. So I'll say it again, I'd just stay out of it and forget you even knew about it.
If you say something, you risk your friend lying about it instead of coming clean and then you look like the bad guy with nothing better to do than start shit. He might not seem like the guy to do that but people do funny things in these kinds of situations. You don't know what your friend will do or not do to try to save his marriage including lying about what he told you, making up stories about you and frankly doing anything he can to save his ass while making YOU look like the bad guy. His wife will hate you, he'll hate you, and any friends closer to them than you will likely also hate you.
If you don't say anything, of course you can look like the bad guy if they found out you knew but hopefully enough time will pass before then that you can say you forgot about it, or something. Start thinking of excuses now haha.
Of course that might not be what happens, this is just one likely and unfortunate scenario. I've seen and heard happen several times. It happened to me once. So I'll say it again, I'd just stay out of it and forget you even knew about it.
I would just distance myself from the scumbag friend.
EDIT: And definitely keep my wife away from him (not that she would do anything, but I'd sure hate to have to shoot one of my "friends" for trying).
EDIT: And definitely keep my wife away from him (not that she would do anything, but I'd sure hate to have to shoot one of my "friends" for trying).
The "if you tell I'll know it was you" part would be his downfall. I do the opposite of what I'm told to an absolute fault.
i would tell your friends wife. Put the ball in her court. Let her either get out in front of it if it's a lie or let it drive her crazy for you to know.
i would tell your friends wife. Put the ball in her court. Let her either get out in front of it if it's a lie or let it drive her crazy for you to know.
Can't believe I'm the 1st to say this but it is SVTP so pics of said friends wife will be needed to pass judgement...
On a serious note. I would run far away from this. Nothing good will come from your involvement. Your friend is a scumbag and odds are he would probably mess around with your wife or significant other if he had the opportunity.
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On a serious note. I would run far away from this. Nothing good will come from your involvement. Your friend is a scumbag and odds are he would probably mess around with your wife or significant other if he had the opportunity.
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I would've punched him in the ****ing mouth three times. Once for fooling around with another friend's wife, once for telling me and burdening me with that shit, and a third time for the whole "I'll know it was you" comment, which I view as a borderline threat...as if he actually has a leg to stand on in the first place.
For him to tell you that and then essentially threaten you is pretty f'd up. I wouldn't consider him a friend.
This.
**** this top shelf idiot.
He isn't a real friend, and he'll be trying to squeeze that ass on your woman under the guise of 'drinking too much' in the future. Bank on it.
So WHEN (not if) this shit blows up, you will lose either way. Some will question why you didn't "say something" to begin with, and others will question why you DID say something if you do.
Lose/lose.
Unfriend this gimp ASAP.
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