Those of you who post in the LNC thread in SD already know a little about this. The rest I want to share a story.
Backstory first,
About 3 weeks ago my 3yr old male GSD (Sebastian from here on out) was doing his normal run with the cat along his dog fence. The cat on the outside of course. Sebastian is a beautiful dark tan/black GSD that goes about 100lbs.
The kids tease because he is kind of clumbsy at times but a very good, smart and loving dog.
The wife was outside at the time and heard a yelp from him. the next day he is limping on his left rear leg.
I have some anti-inflamitory/pain meds from the last time one of them did this so I give him some till my next day off.
He and his sister (Journey) were due for their semi-annual vet visit anyway so a couple days later I load them in the car and bring them.
After their shots and stuff I tell the vet to check his left rear leg as he is favoring it some. He wasn't that morning so I believe it was due to the excitement of going for a ride to the vet.
She checks and finds the knee is a little swollen but not bad so gives me more anti-inflame stuff and we go home.
Over the next three weeks he is on and off of the leg, sometimes limping but sometimes not useing it at all.
I wake up one morning to find him not useing it again and got a good look at it and find the ankle is swollen.
I call the vet and schedule an xray, (Which they need to sedate him some)
I, for only the second time ever load just him in the car. Of course his sister is crying up a storm to be seperated.
I drop him off so they can do what they need to do.
She calls me later in the day to tell me he had a deformed bone like tumor and gets a sample to send off. She sends some good pain meds for him as he is visably in pain.
She gives me options and opinions on what she thinks so I can start to consider possibilities.
I get the call a couple days ago. Bone Cancer in a 3yr old. She talks to the oncologist and I and gives options and opinions.
Amputate has to happen for sure.
Then chest xrays to see if it has spread. If so radiation or kemo recommended and it will buy him maybe 4-8 months or a year max.
If it has not spread he may lead a 3 legged life but with all the pressure on 1 leg in a dog already prone to hip problems is not good.
They also think that the cancer is so aggressive that it is most likely in the blood stream and will spread.
Their prognosis is 1 yr give or take no matter what road we take.
So yesterday after crying a couple days in a row I made the decision to put him down.
I do not want him to suffer and live a short miserable life for my enjoyment of having him here.
Hardest choice I ever had to make.
I called my daughter to come home from college cause she loves him also and say goodbye.
Over the last few days he has been looking at me with these eyes. A look I've never seen from him before. It is the it's OK look.
It's OK dad to let me go.
(Now I'm starting to cry again so bear with me)
Today I decided to go spend time with him as his appointment is scheduled for Saturday at 9:30.
When I get to the gate he comes out and he and his sister meet me as they always do.
I tell you it is a battle between the 2 of them for my attention. always cutting each other off, growl at each other, etc...
This is no different as the both fight for my attention only now the alfa male won't win.
I give him his meds and squat down next to him as his sister trys to get between us.
I tell her, "Journey, brother is sick". As if she knows she retreats to the side and lays down. This has never happened before, she gives up for him.
So as I squat beside him I tell him to sit and he does. He then puts his paw out to "Shake"
He shakes very well as I taught him when he was little but NEVER has he done it without me asking first and stretching out my hand.
It is like he says to me, "friend"
I tell him to lay down for a belly rub and he does just as usual.
This time I rub and pet him slowly with my right hand on his back and left on his chest.
Every so often he would take his front paw and push my left hand down and put his paw on it as if to hold hands.
All the while he is looking at me with loving eyes and his sister watches on.
I don't ever recall feeling that kind of love and apprciation before. Not even from most humans.
My legs are hurting from squatting for so long so I sit on the ground and this continues for about an hour. This in it self is rare as they normally want to play.
I then ask (Not thinking he would) if they want to go run?
We live in the country so they can roam free if I wanted them to.
Their treat before eating evey day is a walk or run around the property.
As soon as I said it they both got up and went to the gate.
I cried as I watched him run around on 3 legs for what is most likely the last time.
I cried harder when he fussed at his sister for being stubborn and not wanting to go back in the pen when I said so.
No matter where we are, when I say in your pen they take off to the gate.
She is always stubborn so he goes out to her, barks and actually grabs her collar with his teath and pulls.
I cried as I closed the gate behind me for one of the last times with both of them there.
I'm not sure how she will take being alone and without the brother she has never been seperated from other than a few short hours.
I'm not sure how my wife and kids will handle it. Hell I'm not sure how some friends who come over and play fetch with his rope will handle it.
I know I'm not doing well as I say goodbye to my best friend.
I love you Sebastian.
Backstory first,
About 3 weeks ago my 3yr old male GSD (Sebastian from here on out) was doing his normal run with the cat along his dog fence. The cat on the outside of course. Sebastian is a beautiful dark tan/black GSD that goes about 100lbs.
The kids tease because he is kind of clumbsy at times but a very good, smart and loving dog.
The wife was outside at the time and heard a yelp from him. the next day he is limping on his left rear leg.
I have some anti-inflamitory/pain meds from the last time one of them did this so I give him some till my next day off.
He and his sister (Journey) were due for their semi-annual vet visit anyway so a couple days later I load them in the car and bring them.
After their shots and stuff I tell the vet to check his left rear leg as he is favoring it some. He wasn't that morning so I believe it was due to the excitement of going for a ride to the vet.
She checks and finds the knee is a little swollen but not bad so gives me more anti-inflame stuff and we go home.
Over the next three weeks he is on and off of the leg, sometimes limping but sometimes not useing it at all.
I wake up one morning to find him not useing it again and got a good look at it and find the ankle is swollen.
I call the vet and schedule an xray, (Which they need to sedate him some)
I, for only the second time ever load just him in the car. Of course his sister is crying up a storm to be seperated.
I drop him off so they can do what they need to do.
She calls me later in the day to tell me he had a deformed bone like tumor and gets a sample to send off. She sends some good pain meds for him as he is visably in pain.
She gives me options and opinions on what she thinks so I can start to consider possibilities.
I get the call a couple days ago. Bone Cancer in a 3yr old. She talks to the oncologist and I and gives options and opinions.
Amputate has to happen for sure.
Then chest xrays to see if it has spread. If so radiation or kemo recommended and it will buy him maybe 4-8 months or a year max.
If it has not spread he may lead a 3 legged life but with all the pressure on 1 leg in a dog already prone to hip problems is not good.
They also think that the cancer is so aggressive that it is most likely in the blood stream and will spread.
Their prognosis is 1 yr give or take no matter what road we take.
So yesterday after crying a couple days in a row I made the decision to put him down.
I do not want him to suffer and live a short miserable life for my enjoyment of having him here.
Hardest choice I ever had to make.
I called my daughter to come home from college cause she loves him also and say goodbye.
Over the last few days he has been looking at me with these eyes. A look I've never seen from him before. It is the it's OK look.
It's OK dad to let me go.
(Now I'm starting to cry again so bear with me)
Today I decided to go spend time with him as his appointment is scheduled for Saturday at 9:30.
When I get to the gate he comes out and he and his sister meet me as they always do.
I tell you it is a battle between the 2 of them for my attention. always cutting each other off, growl at each other, etc...
This is no different as the both fight for my attention only now the alfa male won't win.
I give him his meds and squat down next to him as his sister trys to get between us.
I tell her, "Journey, brother is sick". As if she knows she retreats to the side and lays down. This has never happened before, she gives up for him.
So as I squat beside him I tell him to sit and he does. He then puts his paw out to "Shake"
He shakes very well as I taught him when he was little but NEVER has he done it without me asking first and stretching out my hand.
It is like he says to me, "friend"
I tell him to lay down for a belly rub and he does just as usual.
This time I rub and pet him slowly with my right hand on his back and left on his chest.
Every so often he would take his front paw and push my left hand down and put his paw on it as if to hold hands.
All the while he is looking at me with loving eyes and his sister watches on.
I don't ever recall feeling that kind of love and apprciation before. Not even from most humans.
My legs are hurting from squatting for so long so I sit on the ground and this continues for about an hour. This in it self is rare as they normally want to play.
I then ask (Not thinking he would) if they want to go run?
We live in the country so they can roam free if I wanted them to.
Their treat before eating evey day is a walk or run around the property.
As soon as I said it they both got up and went to the gate.
I cried as I watched him run around on 3 legs for what is most likely the last time.
I cried harder when he fussed at his sister for being stubborn and not wanting to go back in the pen when I said so.
No matter where we are, when I say in your pen they take off to the gate.
She is always stubborn so he goes out to her, barks and actually grabs her collar with his teath and pulls.
I cried as I closed the gate behind me for one of the last times with both of them there.
I'm not sure how she will take being alone and without the brother she has never been seperated from other than a few short hours.
I'm not sure how my wife and kids will handle it. Hell I'm not sure how some friends who come over and play fetch with his rope will handle it.
I know I'm not doing well as I say goodbye to my best friend.
I love you Sebastian.
sorry to hear Barry. may your little buddy rest in peace, and I hope you find some peace in the fact that he no longer has to suffer any more or be in pain.
