Baby Fever

Should I give her the beans


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    42
  • Poll closed .

IronSnake

Beers for the boys
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Wife's got baby fever. We both love/want kids and will hit a year of marriage in a few months. Both sets of future grandparents are approaching mid 60's, and both have a grand child (not ours). Also, we are in our late 20's. I'll be 30 next year. She's a very nurturing/loving woman and I am very comfortable with her being the mother of my kid(s). I just look at the cost of daycare/kids/all the things as car hobby crushers/stress inducers.

Asking SVTp Gods mostly for entertainment purposes. But I imagine someone in the bunch will provide sound advice.
 

03Sssnake

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01yellercobra

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I wouldn't say you have to give up your hobbies. I have two kids and have been able to enjoy cars the entire time. As well as other stuff such as shooting and fishing. Yes, I couldn't swing a brand new Procharger back when we first had them, but that was also because I was an E4 in the military. But I love my kids. Hard to imagine what it was like before them.

Plus it's not like you're taking care of them forever. They do grow up eventually.
 

850SNCobra

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Me and my girl have been together for like 5+ years, we've both decided that we don't want kids. Ever. We both turned 30 this year.

I understand this may be the not so popular opinion but I just don't want kids. Seems like a big burden to me lol if I had one right now, I would probably have to give up all of my toys/hobbies and I am not giving up my sportbike.
 

Rare40th

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If it's meant to be then go for it. I have yet to catch baby fever, women seem to be born with it. Bunch of our friends are popping out kids so that's been our birth control/baby fever fix. I inherited a 1.5 yr old that's just over 3 now and it's fun to see how much they grow/learn in such short time. Haven't given up on hobbies but did slow down some. Just got to find a balance that works. One day (probably sooner than later) I would probably want one of my own
 

Crazycarl

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Life does change but you find new ways to enjoy it. Are we free to go do whatever we want anymore, no, and we do miss that. But at the same time, we find other things to do as a family.
Also when i think about the things we used to do before kids, I just looks at my son, see him smile, and it makes it all worth it.

Kids do make a dent in the pocket book. I was freaking out about that when we had our son. Turns out, all the money we spent doing whatever we wanted, just kind of shifts to kid expenses. Money never became an issue, just don't have as much freedom with it.

In terms of cars, just until recently I had my fun car and a daily. We are planning for #2 very soon.
On my own accord, I decided to combine the two ( A Fun daily). Did this so my son and future child can enjoy my hobby with me and be comfortable.
Do not regret it one bit.

Because I did that my wife now gets a toy, and we will be getting Jeep (3rd car) for fun.

We make sure we still have fun, you just have to remember to do it while trying to raise kids.
 

RedVenom48

Let's go Brandon!
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Do it. my lady and I are on the back side of our 30's and its been difficult getting her knocked up. Women are typically much more fertile in their 20's (duh). Sides, you'll be late 40's by the time the kids turn 18 and are off and out in the world.

At my age Ill be in my 50's. But, I want em.
 

earico

It's 4:20 somewhere...
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My first child was born when I was 24. This was not planned but I had my shit together so it didn't hurt too bad financially. I always planned to be a father but was thinking it would be a little later in life. We elected to do with less and have my wife stay home until kindergarten started. We lived in a small 1300 sqft house that I remodeled myself and we lived a modest lifestyle on my one income. I don't believe in spitting them out, sending them to daycare and going back to work. Now if you can do grandparent daycare then do that. The early age is when you have to correct potential bad habits. Daycare kids don't get quality parenting.

As far as being a father? Best damn thing ever and I mean that. My children are my most prized accomplishment.
 
Last edited:

coposrv

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Ehh it’s not too bad. Other than daycare the cost hasn’t really been much.

My sister had her second kid a month after we had our first. She’s a stay at home mom with her oldest being 2.5. She watched my daughter for 4 months until it was just too overwhelming. We now have her at an in home daycare with 4 other kids. It’s 1800 a month which is about average where we live


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FJohnny

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Ha ha, good question.

First, congrats on having the smarts and maturity to ask this. I get that it's a little tongue in cheek doing it here but it means you are thinking about it the right way. It's a big move and deserves to be fully considered.

Don't do it for the grandparents. At mid 60's, they definitely didn't. It's not a competition with siblings. Hopefully your wife will get this. You guys are still in the honeymoon phase. I'm hoping you dated extensively before this so you can feel secure in knowing who she really is.

Glad you realize that it is life changing. Time and money stresses will be great and to be a good parent means you will definitely be changing some of your routine. Not all of it, though. You can still spend time on yourself and your hobbies, just a bit less. Be efficient with it and usually it works out okay.

Money problems are the biggest marriage killer. You are way ahead of most in considering this. So many just go for it. Imagine having to borrow from/live with relatives because of setbacks that were not in their plans. Everyone will experience changing life situations and it's always best to know that you can afford to weather storms before running into one.

As to the loss of hobbies and time, some people find that watching their kids grow, succeed and fail, and become people and friends that they can be completely proud of will at least in some small way compensate for the inevitable losses/changes. Sure did for me. Like someone else said, it's not forever. It's just a little delayed gratification. (Sometimes that's the best kind?)

Good luck with your decision. The fact that you are a forward thinker makes me believe you will make the correct one for you. Sorry for not guessing on your poll. I don't think I know you or your situation well enough to make the call. I take internet polls VERY seriously and would hate to screw it up!
 

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