Baby Fever

Should I give her the beans


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HudsonFalcon

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Kids are great!

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black4vcobra

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New dad to my almost 4 month old son here. Little different though as I am 35 and my wife turned 33 shortly after our son was born. It is expensive, lots of money on baby stuff, medical appointments, clothes, car seats, rocking chair etc but a lot is received during baby showers.

It was not by choice but we ended up having a C-section and easily hit our out of pocket maximum for the year which was only $3000. Check your insurance and assume you will hit your out of pocket max.

My wife's workplace does not offer maternity leave so there went 3 months of pay for her. Also, she recently went back to work and we are paying $250 a week for childcare, which is middle of the road here in Madison, but it is an excellent in home daycare close to our home that is run by a woman who used to be an elementary school principal. Neither set of our retired and active parents would commit to any scheduled childcare.

I still have my Cobra (and DD Altima and 4Runner) and my boat and even picked up a Remington 1911 2 months ago. Given that we are fairly smart with our money, we are still money ahead at the end of each month but not like we were before the baby.

Now the good parts, my son is an absolutely amazing child that makes me smile just looking at him. He has been sleeping 7+ hours straight almost every night for nearly 2 months. He is so easy to soothe when unhappy and he eats like a champ and has already been to the beach, on the boat, at the farmers market and at car shows with us and is as happy as can be as long as he's fed. We love him more than we ever could have imagined possible and if you and your wife think it's for you, have one of your own. I promise you'll love your child and it will let you know if you want more.


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Zemedici

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Entirely up to you, and your old lady brotha.

I'm the same age (roughly) as you, and Tanya and I had the discussion a week ago, and we're both still out on kids. Matter of fact, I'm looking at getting snipped. I dont want them ever. Have never wanted kids, just not for me. I'd rather be the 'cool uncle that can do whatever he wants whenever he wants' lolol
 

850SNCobra

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Entirely up to you, and your old lady brotha.

I'm the same age (roughly) as you, and Tanya and I had the discussion a week ago, and we're both still out on kids. Matter of fact, I'm looking at getting snipped. I dont want them ever. Have never wanted kids, just not for me. I'd rather be the 'cool uncle that can do whatever he wants whenever he wants' lolol

Same here. I am seriously going this route soon. Then I'll be shooting her club up on the daily with no worries haha.
 

CompOrange04GT

Anyone have a strap on my girl can use on me?
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Ehh it’s not too bad. Other than daycare the cost hasn’t really been much.

My sister had her second kid a month after we had our first. She’s a stay at home mom with her oldest being 2.5. She watched my daughter for 4 months until it was just too overwhelming. We now have her at an in home daycare with 4 other kids. It’s 1800 a month which is about average where we live


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Only on Svtp lol.

“ other than that 20k a year extra we are spending just on daycare “

Good godddd
 

Coiled03

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Entirely up to you, and your old lady brotha.

I'm the same age (roughly) as you, and Tanya and I had the discussion a week ago, and we're both still out on kids. Matter of fact, I'm looking at getting snipped. I dont want them ever. Have never wanted kids, just not for me. I'd rather be the 'cool uncle that can do whatever he wants whenever he wants' lolol

Yeah, I was in your shoes once. Then, in an unplanned life change, my daughter arrived. Now, I wonder how I ever felt that way.

I'm not trying to change your mind. It's just amazing how kids change you in ways you can't imagine.

In any event, I hope your decision works out in the best way possible for you.
 

CompOrange04GT

Anyone have a strap on my girl can use on me?
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No but getting tea bagged is on a whole new level. LMAO

Holy shit LOL

——

Also to OP

so.. I don’t want kids. I’ve dated girls with kids.. still never wanted them.

Til the current I’m with. I love her daughters. She sent me a pic today.. I’m on the list for her 8 year old.. to be able to pick up her daughter from school. It said my name and step parent .. and it made my day ..

Now plot twist.. being with her makes me want a kid..

Problem is.. she’s fixed... so.. if I want my own I’m screwed.. but.. I love hers. It’s a shit situation unless I adopt.
 

9397SVTs

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I suggest that you wait a couple of years. The two of you are still newlyweds, where everything is still new, rainbows and unicorns, and each are on their best behavior. Settle in and get to know each other first.

Do your finances allow for your wife to quit work and stay home to raise your child? Maybe you'll need to wait or downsize and make a few sacrifices. Or, do you plan on sacrificing your child so she can work and you two can keep your things?

Having and raising a child is a very serious undertaking. One that needs to be accomplished by a mother and father, not some stranger. Particularly in the first 3 years. How do you expect to bond with your child if it spends 10 hours a day with a stranger in daycare? (assuming mother works 8 hr days) The child will spend more time being neglected in daycare than it spends with you and your wife each and every week. Would you choose this life for yourself?

Take some time and research parenting and child development. Unfortunately, with today's society, daycare is encouraged and widely accepted. You'll need to weed through all of the overwhelming Pro's to find the Con's, but really pay attention to what is said.

I asked this question earlier in the post, if you could choose for yourself, would you want to be raised by a nanny, a stranger in daycare, or a loving mother? The answer is obvious. So, why would you choose something different for your child?

BTW, I do have kids and I practiced what I preach. Eventually, my wife did go back to work, but only part time in the evenings after I got home from work.
 

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