Blended Family Parenting Advice

[gimmie11s]

I don't remember the other thread that you really rubbed me the wrong way in, but this one definitely takes the cake.

I work 70-75 hours a week, plus help my wife with her new store for 10-12 hours a week. I wake up all of my kids for school before I go to work, and the second I get home from work I'm 100% dad-mode. I definitely hang out with all of my kids, whether it's my 9 year old who's in competitive dance, my 7 year old that plays soccer/baseball/basketball/hockey, my 3 year old that loves playing with racecars, tractors and trucks, and my 1.5 year old who loves wrestling around on the floor. I take them each out for dinner at least once a month by themselves. I take them each out to buy a toy or something randomly, all the time (took my 9 year old to the store last night at 8:30 because she decided to she wanted a new Chiefs shirt for school today).

I don't spend hours in the garage wrenching on things. When I go racing, the whole family comes with. I don't go on trips without my family. I don't hang out at the bars, ever. I don't make plans that don't involve the kids when we have them. I haven't been to the shooting range in well over a year. ETC ETC ETC.

My 3 year old is a handful. By the second or third day he's with us, all is smooth. A lot of the issue is when he comes to us on that first day from being back from his mom's, he's a completely different kid. Normal rules don't apply at his mom's house, and he's not having to play well with other kids there as he is the only child.

Appreciate your input, and I'm sure your likely response will be that I'm making excuses or something...guess it's a good thing I'm not paying you for advice.

Nevermind.

 

[13COBRA]

First, i dont GAF how i rub you and you dont have enough money to pay what my advice is worth, so feel lucky youre getting it for free, Champion. Maybe my criticism of you will make you man up. Maybe not...

If you were secure enough in yourself and were in fact "Mr Dad" like you illustrate above, why come in here and ask for advice? Dont be all pissy like a Karen-gone-wild when someone gives it to you straight.

You are welcome to throw my advice in that trash if that is what you feel is necessary (good thing it was free). The truth is, you know im right. Give the kid the attention he needs and quit talking about how busy are. Become unbusy and give the kid some 1:1.

Did you ever think that perhaps the kid is a "handful" because of YOUR FAILURES? Why are you blaming the kid? He had absolutely 0 impact on the decisions you and your Ex made... none whatsoever.

Get over yourself.

Jesus Christ. Someone pissed in your Wheaties.

Thanks

 

[gimmie11s]

Im going to go back and edit that post. Maybe im too harsh.

You should spend more time with that poor kid IMO. That is all.

 

[13COBRA]

Im going to go back and edit that post. Maybe im too harsh.

You should spend more time with that poor kid IMO. That is all.

No worries. I appreciate your input.

 

[Lambeau]

Our two kids are grown-up and gone. All I'm gonna say is sadly the time that they were around went really, really, fast.

 

[ZYBORG]

First, I don’t GAF how I rub you and you don’t have enough money to pay what my advice is worth, so feel lucky youre getting it for free, Champion. Maybe my criticism of you will make you man up. Maybe not...

If you were secure enough in yourself and were in fact "Mr Dad" like you illustrate above, why come in here and ask for advice? Dont be all pissy like a Karen-gone-wild when someone gives it to you straight.

You are welcome to throw my advice in that trash if that is what you feel is necessary (good thing it was free). The truth is, you know im right. Give the kid the attention he needs and quit talking about how busy are. Become unbusy and give the kid some 1:1.

Did you ever think that perhaps the kid is a "handful" because of YOUR FAILURES? Why are you blaming the kid? He had absolutely 0 impact on the decisions you and your Ex made... none whatsoever.

Get over yourself.

 

[jeffh81]

4 kids in the house? Im buying a van and moving down by the river.

 

[13COBRA]

4 kids in the house? Im buying a van and moving down by the river.

Man, I've always loved kids. It's amazing how much joy they can bring to your life. Even in the midst of potty training, etc.

 

[jeffh81]

Man, I've always loved kids. It's amazing how much joy they can bring to your life. Even in the midst of potty training, etc.

Thats great, Im glad that people want to keep civilization going. Me personally Im happy with my animals running around.


Just remember what Dr. Goetz says “ good psychology beats bad behavior” and”ignore it, ignore it, ignore it”. If you dont get the references then Google is your friend

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

My father used to punch me in the mouth closed fist when I was a young boy. He once hit me so hard that I dented the family Buick and when I complained to my mother about it she attacked me with a aluminum bat and said to me and I quote. “We are not raising little tiny phaggots in this house.”
Look how stable and zen like I turned out. Cereal.

 

[13COBRA]

My father used to punch me in the mouth closed fist when I was a young boy. He once hit me so hard that I dented the family Buick and when I complained to my mother about it she attacked me with a aluminum bat and said to me and I quote. “We are not raising little tiny phaggots in this house.”
Look how stable and zen like I turned out. Cereal.

Well. That is quite the story haha

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

Well. That is quite the story haha

I’m not tellin you to smash your kids skull in. But.

I think a good slap on the face every once in a while is healthy. It gives you a sense of well being and it lets you know your place.

This new way of parenting of reasoning with little kids is fookin foolish.

 

[13COBRA]

I’m not tellin you to smash your kids skull in. But.

I think a good slap on the face every once in a while is healthy. It gives you a sense of well being and it lets you know your place.

This new way of parenting of reasoning with little kids is fookin foolish.

I'm all for spanking if it's needed, but I hardly think that teaching my 3 year old not to hit his baby brother, by hitting/slapping him in the face is the answer haha

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

I'm all for spanking if it's needed, but I hardly think that teaching my 3 year old not to hit his baby brother, by hitting/slapping him in the face is the answer haha

Ask me how many times I put my hand on my siblings.

 

[13COBRA]

Ask me how many times I put my hand on my siblings.

Me: "Hey Bruno, how many times have you put your hand on your siblings?"

Bruno: "Never did, I knew I would get my ass beat."

Me: "Cool story, bro. Still not going to hit my kid(s) in the face."

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

Me: "Hey Bruno, how many times have you put your hand on your siblings?"

Bruno: "Never did, I knew I would get my ass beat."

Me: "Cool story, bro. Still not going to hit my kid(s) in the face."

I’m not advocating that you hit your kids in the face. I’m merely pointing out a correlation between how I was raised and how kids today are raised.

I think the way kids are being raised today is like a bunch of pussies.

It’s why America is filled with a bunch of purple haired soycucks that don’t even know what sex they are and get triggered if someone calls them by the wrong pronoun.

If I had a kid I’d beat him unmercifully.

 

[13COBRA]

I’m not advocating that you hit your kids in the face. I’m merely pointing out a correlation between how I was raised and how kids today are raised.

I think the way kids are being raised today is like a bunch of pussies.

It’s why America is filled with a bunch of purple haired soycucks that don’t even know what sex they are and get triggered if someone calls them by the wrong pronoun.

If I had a kid I’d beat him unmercifully.

I agree with part of what you're saying...but I can't get behind the last sentence.

 

[jeffh81]

Me: "Hey Bruno, how many times have you put your hand on your siblings?"

Bruno: "Never did, I knew I would get my ass beat."

Me: "Cool story, bro. Still not going to hit my kid(s) in the face."

Gather up for story time: when we did something real stupid it resulted in a slap to the back of the head. Guess what you remembered it next time you were thinking of doing that stupidity again. If by some chance you needed reminding. It was a progressive scale.

Now for a 3yr old who probably is just dying for 1:1 attention. It may just be that he is acting out and need a reminder that he is no longer an only child and will take time for him to adjust

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

I agree with part of what you're saying...but I can't get behind the last sentence.

Well to be fair.

I am fookin crazy in the head and for this reason I never had any kids.
That lived.

 

[13COBRA]

Well to be fair.

I am fookin crazy in the head and for this reason I never had any kids.
That lived.

I can't help but giggle.