Ex Wives

13COBRA

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I don't know.... paying child support for 18+ years sounds pretty bad to me.

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Tell me about it.

I ran a compound interest calculator on mine... Over $1mil if I deposited my monthly child support (start to finish) and had a 5% return. Depressing.
 

Bdubbs

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Tell me about it.

I ran a compound interest calculator on mine... Over $1mil if I deposited my monthly child support (start to finish) and had a 5% return. Depressing.
That's absolutely ridiculous. Its one thing if the money actually goes 100% to the child, but we all know it doesn't. It's another flaw in our system which will never benefit the man.

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Black Gold 380R

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Tell me about it.

I ran a compound interest calculator on mine... Over $1mil if I deposited my monthly child support (start to finish) and had a 5% return. Depressing.

Yep, it's crazy. I think I ended up paying $130K in child support. Needles to say I pretty much paid for the house she "bought" after the divorce.

I looked at it from a family perspective. If we were still married there would be no way in hell I would be spending the amount I was paying her for the kids monthly. Granted the court takes everything into consideration (i.e. utilities, food, clothing, necessities, etc.), but still I don't think the kids used that much electricity and wasn't eating that much food LMAO!!!!

It is definitely a flawed system that seems to benefit woman as mentioned by @Bdubbs
 

MG0h3

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Tell me about it.

I ran a compound interest calculator on mine... Over $1mil if I deposited my monthly child support (start to finish) and had a 5% return. Depressing.

My ex wife was spending at a minimum, 50% more than my child support every month. Some months it was double what my support is. 3x a day Starbucks etc.

There was nearly ZERO household spending. She didn’t shop for groceries, cook, nothing. This didn’t include the car payment, insurance, phone bill.

I got released early from our K9 academy to study for the final on Monday. Heard noise in my house upon entering so I send my dog and have my gun out. Come around the corner and it’s the ****ing house cleaning lady from my mother in laws. She starts apologizing in Spanish and mopping real fast and calls my wife.

Wife shows up 30min later like nothing. ****ing bitch had been telling me she cleaned the house for years.

Plus she’s not getting any more of my 401k or pension.

The worst part was that I knew I was going to divorce her within the first 18-24months. It was a horrible way to live.

I even allowed her to have control over me for @5 yrs after I divorced her. I allowed her abuse of visitation to totally control my emotions. Lucky I didn’t end up fired or in jail or dead. BP was regularly 160/100.

Never again will I allow someone to have control over me or my emotions like that.




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13COBRA

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My ex wife was spending at a minimum, 50% more than my child support every month. Some months it was double what my support is. 3x a day Starbucks etc.

There was nearly ZERO household spending. She didn’t shop for groceries, cook, nothing. This didn’t include the car payment, insurance, phone bill.

I got released early from our K9 academy to study for the final on Monday. Heard noise in my house upon entering so I send my dog and have my gun out. Come around the corner and it’s the ****ing house cleaning lady from my mother in laws. She starts apologizing in Spanish and mopping real fast and calls my wife.

Wife shows up 30min later like nothing. ****ing bitch had been telling me she cleaned the house for years.

Plus she’s not getting any more of my 401k or pension.

The worst part was that I knew I was going to divorce her within the first 18-24months. It was a horrible way to live.

I even allowed her to have control over me for @5 yrs after I divorced her. I allowed her abuse of visitation to totally control my emotions. Lucky I didn’t end up fired or in jail or dead. BP was regularly 160/100.

Never again will I allow someone to have control over me or my emotions like that.




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This is perhaps the most relatable of any post I've ever seen on this site. I lived that.
 

CompOrange04GT

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I’ll text a sentence she said today..

“ i mean I was subtly attempting to start something with minimal effort.”

( sex related )

And then she got pissed when I said “ so you can put minimal effort into sex, but you get pissed if I put minimal effort into giving you money”

Like the fact that she point blank saying “ I’m gonna put minimal effort into ****ing you “


Also… per some of your guys advice. I did get her to text me something essentially saying I didn’t do the shit to her she wanted to accuse me of
 

13COBRA

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I’ll text a sentence she said today..

“ i mean I was subtly attempting to start something with minimal effort.”

( sex related )

And then she got pissed when I said “ so you can put minimal effort into sex, but you get pissed if I put minimal effort into giving you money”

Like the fact that she point blank saying “ I’m gonna put minimal effort into ****ing you “


Also… per some of your guys advice. I did get her to text me something essentially saying I didn’t do the shit to her she wanted to accuse me of


Sounds like you're provoking now, wouldn't bother with that and stay on the high road or you're going to have more headaches later.
 

MG0h3

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I’ll text a sentence she said today..

“ i mean I was subtly attempting to start something with minimal effort.”

( sex related )

And then she got pissed when I said “ so you can put minimal effort into sex, but you get pissed if I put minimal effort into giving you money”

Like the fact that she point blank saying “ I’m gonna put minimal effort into ****ing you “


Also… per some of your guys advice. I did get her to text me something essentially saying I didn’t do the shit to her she wanted to accuse me of

It’s hard to decide for yourself when you’re wasting time and energy for nothing. When it’s time to cut bait.

The only reason you’re still there is because you’re married. Would you marry her again at this point?

You’ve got nothing to lose. I’d put my foot down and just tell her you’re not going to let her be a **** to you anymore.

Use the word ****. In person.

Maybe her behavior improves. Maybe it doesn’t. But at least you’ll have a sense of empowerment in that you aren’t letting her manipulate your emotions.


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kirks5oh

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Yep, it's crazy. I think I ended up paying $130K in child support. Needles to say I pretty much paid for the house she "bought" after the divorce.

I looked at it from a family perspective. If we were still married there would be no way in hell I would be spending the amount I was paying her for the kids monthly. Granted the court takes everything into consideration (i.e. utilities, food, clothing, necessities, etc.), but still I don't think the kids used that much electricity and wasn't eating that much food LMAO!!!!

It is definitely a flawed system that seems to benefit woman as mentioned by @Bdubbs
Imagine paying that every year.
 

Black Gold 380R

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Imagine paying that every year.

I can't. I didn't even make that much every year :(.

But, I get it. I've heard stories of the amounts some celebrates/wealthy had to pay. Why do celebrities'/wealthy ex spouses need to be paid ridiculous amounts? This "I've become accustomed to this lifestyle" is BS. Once you're divorced you need to live off your own qualifications, education, training, experience or talents.

All you need is enough to live a normal life, not an extravagant one.

It's all horse S#!T at every level.
 

kirks5oh

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Pass.

Hope it was good while you had it.
Was married for ten years and got out without paying a dime of alimony, and 50/50 custody. So it could have been worse. Even with all that, she wants more.


I understand the concept of child support. The court sees the divorce as damaging to the kids and community as a whole. So many states are “no fault” states and child support is awarded even in cases of 50/50 custody if there’s such a disparity in income. The court wants the kids to have equivalent lifestyles at both households. But it’s not a perfect system. My ex doesn’t spend half the money on the kids. But you could argue the kids should live in equivalent houses, go on equivalent vacations, etc
 

13COBRA

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Was married for ten years and got out without paying a dime of alimony, and 50/50 custody. So it could have been worse. Even with all that, she wants more.


I understand the concept of child support. The court sees the divorce as damaging to the kids and community as a whole. So many states are “no fault” states and child support is awarded even in cases of 50/50 custody if there’s such a disparity in income. The court wants the kids to have equivalent lifestyles at both households. But it’s not a perfect system. My ex doesn’t spend half the money on the kids. But you could argue the kids should live in equivalent houses, go on equivalent vacations, etc

I guess.

I was married 8 months, so no alimony but I do have child support.
 

kirks5oh

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I guess.

I was married 8 months, so no alimony but I do have child support.
There’s a very big difference in the way kids live (and resources they have access to) between a household income of $50k and $500k+. There shouldn’t be, but the reality is that there is. The court is trying to narrow that discrepancy. In theory, it’s fair to the kids. It’s impossible to enforce the way the money is spent though.
 

13COBRA

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There’s a very big difference in the way kids live (and resources they have access to) between a household income of $50k and $500k+. There shouldn’t be, but the reality is that there is. The court is trying to narrow that discrepancy. In theory, it’s fair to the kids. It’s impossible to enforce the way the money is spent though.

I agree with that.
 

CompOrange04GT

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There’s a very big difference in the way kids live (and resources they have access to) between a household income of $50k and $500k+. There shouldn’t be, but the reality is that there is. The court is trying to narrow that discrepancy. In theory, it’s fair to the kids. It’s impossible to enforce the way the money is spent though.

Yes and no.

Her kids have a cash app card. Money can be direct deposited to it.

Now.. the ex could easily take that card.. but .. it can be given straight to the kid these days
 

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