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So I wrote and recorded a CLEAN rap...feedback welcome

Discussion in 'The SVTP Video Forum' started by hbk_136, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. hbk_136

    hbk_136 New Member Established Member

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    Just a little side hobby, i do not expect or intend to break into the music industry...but I try to send a meaningful message with my lyrics. Useful feedback, good or bad, welcome.

    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ll_iHFsucI"]"On Top of the World" (B-Money Entertainment) - YouTube[/nomedia]
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2011
  2. zporta

    zporta KB INSIDE Established Member

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    I don't know, the flow is very odd to me. It almost had a weird al rap feel. It seems like you focus on every silable of every word. Sounds to much like your just speaking the message.
     
  3. hbk_136

    hbk_136 New Member Established Member

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    good feedback, thanks
     
  4. AznStanger3v

    AznStanger3v King of the LOL Established Member

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    ill agree on the flow. there is a lot of emphasis in all the words. try and relax if that makes sense. great job on the hook. keep up the good work man.
     
  5. WireEater

    WireEater Dumpster Baby Established Member

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    I'm sorry, is this for real?
     
  6. 7.62x51

    7.62x51 New Member Established Member

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    Ya man sounds like your reciting or reading from a piece of paper. Throw some emotion into it. no rythym at all imo, just being honest.
     
  7. joeg215

    joeg215 Readin posts, rollin eyes Established Member

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    The chorus was good. It sounds like you werent breathing during the rap? lol
     
  8. blueovalfan

    blueovalfan Active Member Established Member

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    cowbell.jpg
     
  9. suaveflooder

    suaveflooder 500 hp grocery getter Established Member

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    The flow is off because of it's evenness. Listen to some famous rappers like eminem, dre, or even lil wayne. There is a very unevenness to it that makes it work. In all honesty, you can keep everything the same in the song, but change up the flow of the lyrics. The talent will come in speeding up some of the lyrics and keeping them understandable. Good luck!
     
  10. zerocool

    zerocool Douchy McDoucherson Established Member

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    :lol:
     
  11. Njc0las

    Njc0las Detective John Spartan Established Member

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    Sorry, no.
     
  12. CobraBob

    CobraBob Authorized Vendor Premium Member Established Member Single Barrel Sirs

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    Overall, good job and a good start. I do agree that the rap portion is too even. It needs more (e)motion. Up and down like the rappers mentioned. The intro (first 60 seconds) was awesome. Keep practicing and experimenting. It will just get better. I like that the lyrics are positive.
     
  13. crfrider16

    crfrider16 Heretic Established Member

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    This is average homeboy PART DUEX! This is an exact replica of a terrible rapper from the 80's named Denny Blaze!

    Listen....start at 1:35

    [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXb6bjCCtuY"]Average Homeboy OFFICIAL FULL VERSION! DENNY BLAZIN HAZEN - YouTube[/nomedia]
     
  14. Camaro_94

    Camaro_94 Brown Recluse Slayer Established Member

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    This.

    I agree with everyone else though.
     
  15. hbk_136

    hbk_136 New Member Established Member

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    i appreciate the feedback
     
  16. CompOrange04GT

    CompOrange04GT I like Wood, and not Oak in my butt Established Member

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    I will mix and master your vocal the proper way and make it sound better for you

    What kind of mic do you use?

    And what program do you record on?


    I do music production for many rappers on the side. Let me know.



    Like everybody said that I agree with but I will more brutally honest. The hook that Nine Diamond did was good, but your verses were boring.


    If I was you instead of sending me the already recorded portions, I would re-do it. Put more emotion into and make people believe what you are saying.

    Second, you need to work on spots to breathe. Like you took breathe right before a word you flipped syllables and it stood out too much.

    Don't put so much emphasis on the final words of the sentence in your main verse, let the voice overs do the emphasis for you.

    Let me know if you have any questions
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2011
  17. hbk_136

    hbk_136 New Member Established Member

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    Good info.

    I use an Audio Technica AT2020 USB mic, and i mix it all in Adobe Audition 3.0...still trying to learn all of the 19,000 features, im getting better, learning as I go, but you undoubtedly probably know more than I do.

    Sounds good though, I'll have another one not too long, I'll send it to you if you wanna play around with it, I'll definitely give you credit, I do for everyone.
     
  18. CompOrange04GT

    CompOrange04GT I like Wood, and not Oak in my butt Established Member

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    My advice is

    1. Not using a USB mic and upgrade to another better mic through a preamp, but if you don't want do invest in a new mic thats fine for now. You can get pretty good vocals with a USB mic.

    2. Adobe Audition is utter shit ( my opinion though) Everybody has different opinions, SOME people would say Pro Tools is garbage but it's whatever. Adobe is a good beginner program if you just want to get started.


    Do me a favor. Say you just recorded. Write down the steps you do to your vocals. And what levels you have the volumes at on your vocals. Remember the ORDER of how you do the steps of your mastering greatly affects the sound. So you changing the order of ONE thing you could improve the quality of your vocals.

    Maybe I can help you a little with adjusting a few levels( maybe) I only used Adobe for like 3 minutes before I said **** it.


    Right now I usually bounce around from Cakewalk, to Cool Edit, to Pro Tools.


    -editing-

    My order of mastering is usually ( I won't tell you my levels, because us producers like to keep some secrets)

    -Delay effect to Echo
    - Amplitude
    - Hard limiting
    - Dynamics processing
    -Graphic Equalizing


    Then from there I mess with time/pitch/ etc etc etc to perfect it.


    And remember always triple your vocals.

    Like have three sets of vocals for one verse. One set goes to the middle, one set goes to the left speaker, one set goes to the right. blah blah blah


    Producing gets VERY complex. You'd shit yourself if you saw what my screen looks like in my recording programs so much shit going on.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2011
  19. hbk_136

    hbk_136 New Member Established Member

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    Wow yeah i see what your saying. Audition is my first editing program and I've heard about the good mic with pre-amp stuff, but I don't know if I did this enough to warrant that purchase yet. I wanna say off the top of my head I do this...

    -Normalize volume
    -Mastering effect
    -Studio Reverb effect
    -Dynamics Processing

    that's the norm, sometimes i play around with others to see how they sound and use them or not, but hey thats at least a good tip/procedure for me to follow, thanks for that.
     
  20. CompOrange04GT

    CompOrange04GT I like Wood, and not Oak in my butt Established Member

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    dont bother normalizing.


    and do reverb first...mess with the reverb till you find something you like
     

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