• Welcome to SVTPerformance!
ATTENTION!
You may experience intermittent issues while accessing the site over the next 60-90 minutes, as we perform maintenance and upgrades.

This guy is the king of the douches...no, really, he is.

Discussion in 'Pics and Videos Buffet' started by NinoAvila, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. NinoAvila

    NinoAvila Who's awesome....YOU ARE! Established Member

    Messages:
    842
    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Location:
    Edinburg, Tx
    [​IMG]

    Meet "John Fitzgerald". My girlfriend read about him and linked me.

    This guy is such a tool. There are plenty of people here that can equal if not surpass this nutsack as far as "success" goes (to him, all material) and you all are 100x's cooler than him.

    I just couldn't stop laughing at how much this guy is into himself.

    I think I could take a shit and have it have a more intelligent conversation with the turd than with this dude.

    Taken off of Gawker.Com:

    Hey, remember that wannabe i-banker douchebag Alexsey Vayner and his insanely braggy resume video? Do you recall Eric Schaeffer, the failed writer/director who hates women and blogs about how he can't believe he's still single? Well, what if they met and married and through some breakthrough in medical science had a baby? He would probably grow up to be something along the lines of Atlanta's John Fitzgerald Page, who in addition to working in corporate finance, being a part-time trainer, and being available for work as a "costumed character" or a "stand-in," also somehow finds the time in his day to be a colossal, mindbogglingly douchey douchebag to girls he meets on Match.com!

    We are given to understand (hey, who makes this kind of shit up?) that the following email correspondence took place between John and some lady. "So I winked at this guy on Match. Should have known better considering his screen name was "IvyLeagueAlum." He responds with the following email...

    I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in the middle of the Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to this area of town to shop/go out/visit/explore?

    I went to an Ivy League school - the University of Pennsylvania - for my undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate degree in management (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to school?

    What activities do you currently participate in to stay in shape? I work out 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise regularly? I am 6 feet tall, 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry if that sounds rude, impolite or even downright crass, but I have been deceived before by inaccurate representations so I prefer someone be upfront and honest on initial contact...

    I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for Limited Brands (Bath & Body Works, Victoria's Secret, etc). Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?

    Do you have any other recent pictures you care to share? I have many others if you care to see them.

    Regards,

    John
    [email redacted]

    "So," the lady writes, "I in turn send him a polite "No Thanks" thru the Match system which sends him the following email: 'Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're just not a good match. Good luck in your search! Our Portraits didn't match on: A. Personality'" A spurned and brokenhearted John wrote back, less robotically but no less douchily.

    I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!

    So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren't any more of those!


    Regards,

    John


    If that wasn't enough, get a load of his website (Be sure to visit "about us")

    http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com/

    -N
     
  2. ElGato

    ElGato There is no cure Established Member

    Messages:
    2,210
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2005
    Location:
    OBX n Gettysburg
    Did he turn you down too?
     
  3. NinoAvila

    NinoAvila Who's awesome....YOU ARE! Established Member

    Messages:
    842
    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Location:
    Edinburg, Tx
    Why you thinkin about switchin sides? [​IMG]

    Pinche maricon.

    -N
     
  4. Fat-cat

    Fat-cat Active Member Established Member

    Messages:
    3,089
    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2005
    Location:
    Canada
    hahhaa what a ****en looser
     
  5. Junk_in_Trunk

    Junk_in_Trunk New Member Established Member

    Messages:
    373
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA./Delray Beach, Fl.
    He's just lonely
     
  6. Steeda30

    Steeda30 Clearance Clarence Established Member

    Messages:
    3,536
    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2004
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Haha, oh man, he lives about 10 minutes from me. :D

    Granted he was a douche in the e-mail, I don't think it should have been as big of deal as what that lady made it out to be - after reading his main page, that really sucks for him. There are many bigger tools out there than this guy, but they just go unexposed.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2007
  7. fak3r

    fak3r Bow to your sensei!! Established Member

    Messages:
    1,264
    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Location:
    VA
    This guy is a winner
     
  8. NO-BlkLightning2K

    NO-BlkLightning2K Putin 2016. Yup. Established Member

    Messages:
    9,890
    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2007
    Location:
    Earth
    he's a douche, but i'll bet that bitch is a fatty.
     
  9. Last

    Last New Member Established Member

    Messages:
    1,703
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Location:
    Austin , TX
    he got rejected and had to go work out to feed his ego
     
  10. Bens4vcobra

    Bens4vcobra On hallowed ground Established Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Location:
    Alabama
    wow that website is amazing! the photos of him flexing are hilarious, he thinks his average looking muscles are worth documenting on the internet. i wonder if he's ever seen Rambo or watched an NFL football game? um... you know you dont look like them right?
     
  11. Bens4vcobra

    Bens4vcobra On hallowed ground Established Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Location:
    Alabama
    check out his awesome beemer!! isnt that a 1990 model?

    pagesbeemer.jpg

    p.s. this really is it. this is what he was bragging about. he really is a douche.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2007
  12. kirks5oh

    kirks5oh kirks5oh Established Member

    Messages:
    7,328
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Location:
    wi
    i love where he puts shit in the 'skills' section---hole in one, and state championship high school soccer game, etc. awesome.
     
  13. SVT04

    SVT04 New Member Established Member

    Messages:
    2,127
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Location:
    Alberta
    This thread is a waste of everything.....
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2007
  14. bigmac6103

    bigmac6103 New Member Established Member

    Messages:
    97
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2005
    Location:
    Houston
    I thought it was funny that he said bench/squat/leg press over 1200lbs......Dude that's very unimpressive.

    He is very much a D-bag, but maybe not the King!
     
  15. The Joker

    The Joker Johnny Rev Customs Established Member

    Messages:
    1,109
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Location:
    Beautiful GA
    +1.
     
  16. Snakebite2k3

    Snakebite2k3 Pray For The Dead To Rise Established Member

    Messages:
    8,552
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    IL
    +2
     
  17. Last

    Last New Member Established Member

    Messages:
    1,703
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Location:
    Austin , TX
    at least his hair isnt spiked
     
  18. Bens4vcobra

    Bens4vcobra On hallowed ground Established Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Location:
    Alabama
    Dont talk bad about Joey F'n Carrera!!
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2007
  19. 03600

    03600 New Member Established Member

    Messages:
    336
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Location:
    WALKIN THE EARF
    Why are you so concerned with this guy? You're just one "douchebag notch" under him for starting a post to whine about him.
     
  20. ElGato

    ElGato There is no cure Established Member

    Messages:
    2,210
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2005
    Location:
    OBX n Gettysburg
    For your answer, see 1st post after OP VVV
     

Share This Page