This story is a good read and funny and smacks close to home, but needs to be put into perspective.
[THE SCENE GETS WAVY--CHEESY FLASHBACK MUSIC PLAYS BRIEFLY IN THE BACKGROUND]
[SETTING: SHAMROCK FORD SERVICE DEPARTMENT, MONDAY MORNING. A BEAUTIFUL RED SVT COBRA HAS JUST SPUTTERED UP AND STALLED IN NEXT TO THE SERVICE WRITER'S BOOTH]
Service Writer: "Well, Good morning, Mr. Miller, and may I say, that THAT is ONE BEAUTIFUL RIDE! What seems to be the trouble this morning?"
Mr. Miller: "This weekend the car just started running like crap. Is is normal for oil to drip out of the tailpipe like that?"
"Well, let's just have a loo--HOLY CRAP, Oil is just pouring out of your tailpipe! Err--I mean, yeah, they all do that...Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
"Listen, my friend has a cobra, and his doesn't have oil pouring out of his tailpipe. I really want you to have a look at the car."
"Well, I've never done this before, mind you, but I'll just have one of my mechanics have a look at it. I'm not sure you want to hear this, but I doubt there's anything we can do."
"Fine, just look at it, okay? I know it's not supposed to do this."
[MR. MILLER EXITS, SCENE FADES TO BLACK.]
[SCENE OPENS, SERVICE WRITER BOOTH, SHAMROCK FORD, 3 DAYS LATER]
Service writer: "Yes sir, may I help you?"
Mr. Miller: "I'm Dave Miller with the SVT Cobra. Have you figured out what is wrong with my car?"
"Hmmm...Dave Miller...Dave Miller...Nope. No Dave Miller here. Perhaps you own a Toyota?"
"Look--I own a COBRA SVT. IT WAS LEAKING OIL? REMEMBER?"
"OH CRAP! THEY all do--err yes...what was I thinking. That Mr. Miller. Yes, sir, I have your paperwork right here."
[REACHES IN TO A BIN MARKED "NOT ECONOMICALLY REPARABLE". PULLS OUT A STACK OF PAPERS ABOUT AN INCH THICK]
"Mr. Miller, I'm afraid your engine has suffered severe damage somehow. We found holes in your 5, 7, and 8 pistons."
"Holes. Is that...bad?"
"Mr. Miller, we noticed that there were non-standard parts on your engine."
"Hey, I use nothing but genuine Ford parts."
"Uh yeah. It looks like the pulley on your Eaton Factory Blower has been replaced with one from a Ford SVT-Lightning Pickup Truck."
"Yes, of course! It's cheap power!"
"Um...right. Anyhow, we'd be glad to take care of the damage."
"Fantastic! So can I pick it up this afternoon?"
"Mr. Miller--I'm going to be straight with you. You may not see this car for a month."
"Oh man. The bus AGAIN. **** . And I thought I'd never have to get mugged again."
"Now, Mr. Miller, is there a credit card number you can leave with me?"
"Credit card?? What for? I just bought the car last week!"
"Well--our initial estimate--remember, it's just initial mind you...might be higher, might be lower.."
"Yes? Yes? What is it.."
"I'm going to write a figure down on this piece of paper..."
"FORGET ALL THAT--just tell me!"
"$10,000"
"WHAT?!? But my car is under warranty! I paid $15,000 over list for this stupid car! Why are you charging me??"
"Well, Mr. Miller, we have a rule of thumb in warranty repair. Now, mind you, it's just a GENERAL rule of thumb. But it goes like this: If you use a lightning pulley on your SVT Cobra, your transmission, differential, motor, A/C, and water-pump warrantees are void for this car and every other Ford Motor product that you will ever own for the rest of your natural life. Mr. Miller, I'm going to level with you--this engine is only rated for 8psi boost. Our calculations indicate that you were running...[ADDS SEVERAL FIGURES TOGETHER]...about 26 psi. Now, is there anything else I can do for you today?"
[TEARS WELL UP IN MR. MILLERS EYES]
"But...but...that means I will have paid--$50,000 dollars for the car...and $10,000 dollars for repairs...and I'll never have a warantee again...that's like...[ADDS IN HEAD FOR 30 SECONDS]...$60,000 dollars!!"
"Well, then, Mr. Miller, it looks like our numbers are gibing with yours."
"I [SOB] might as well have bought a used VIPER for that much money! At least I would have got some chicks to flash me... and I would have gone faster!"
"Thank you for choosing FORD, Mr. Miller."
Cheers, :beer:
Robert
[THE SCENE GETS WAVY--CHEESY FLASHBACK MUSIC PLAYS BRIEFLY IN THE BACKGROUND]
[SETTING: SHAMROCK FORD SERVICE DEPARTMENT, MONDAY MORNING. A BEAUTIFUL RED SVT COBRA HAS JUST SPUTTERED UP AND STALLED IN NEXT TO THE SERVICE WRITER'S BOOTH]
Service Writer: "Well, Good morning, Mr. Miller, and may I say, that THAT is ONE BEAUTIFUL RIDE! What seems to be the trouble this morning?"
Mr. Miller: "This weekend the car just started running like crap. Is is normal for oil to drip out of the tailpipe like that?"
"Well, let's just have a loo--HOLY CRAP, Oil is just pouring out of your tailpipe! Err--I mean, yeah, they all do that...Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
"Listen, my friend has a cobra, and his doesn't have oil pouring out of his tailpipe. I really want you to have a look at the car."
"Well, I've never done this before, mind you, but I'll just have one of my mechanics have a look at it. I'm not sure you want to hear this, but I doubt there's anything we can do."
"Fine, just look at it, okay? I know it's not supposed to do this."
[MR. MILLER EXITS, SCENE FADES TO BLACK.]
[SCENE OPENS, SERVICE WRITER BOOTH, SHAMROCK FORD, 3 DAYS LATER]
Service writer: "Yes sir, may I help you?"
Mr. Miller: "I'm Dave Miller with the SVT Cobra. Have you figured out what is wrong with my car?"
"Hmmm...Dave Miller...Dave Miller...Nope. No Dave Miller here. Perhaps you own a Toyota?"
"Look--I own a COBRA SVT. IT WAS LEAKING OIL? REMEMBER?"
"OH CRAP! THEY all do--err yes...what was I thinking. That Mr. Miller. Yes, sir, I have your paperwork right here."
[REACHES IN TO A BIN MARKED "NOT ECONOMICALLY REPARABLE". PULLS OUT A STACK OF PAPERS ABOUT AN INCH THICK]
"Mr. Miller, I'm afraid your engine has suffered severe damage somehow. We found holes in your 5, 7, and 8 pistons."
"Holes. Is that...bad?"
"Mr. Miller, we noticed that there were non-standard parts on your engine."
"Hey, I use nothing but genuine Ford parts."
"Uh yeah. It looks like the pulley on your Eaton Factory Blower has been replaced with one from a Ford SVT-Lightning Pickup Truck."
"Yes, of course! It's cheap power!"
"Um...right. Anyhow, we'd be glad to take care of the damage."
"Fantastic! So can I pick it up this afternoon?"
"Mr. Miller--I'm going to be straight with you. You may not see this car for a month."
"Oh man. The bus AGAIN. **** . And I thought I'd never have to get mugged again."
"Now, Mr. Miller, is there a credit card number you can leave with me?"
"Credit card?? What for? I just bought the car last week!"
"Well--our initial estimate--remember, it's just initial mind you...might be higher, might be lower.."
"Yes? Yes? What is it.."
"I'm going to write a figure down on this piece of paper..."
"FORGET ALL THAT--just tell me!"
"$10,000"
"WHAT?!? But my car is under warranty! I paid $15,000 over list for this stupid car! Why are you charging me??"
"Well, Mr. Miller, we have a rule of thumb in warranty repair. Now, mind you, it's just a GENERAL rule of thumb. But it goes like this: If you use a lightning pulley on your SVT Cobra, your transmission, differential, motor, A/C, and water-pump warrantees are void for this car and every other Ford Motor product that you will ever own for the rest of your natural life. Mr. Miller, I'm going to level with you--this engine is only rated for 8psi boost. Our calculations indicate that you were running...[ADDS SEVERAL FIGURES TOGETHER]...about 26 psi. Now, is there anything else I can do for you today?"
[TEARS WELL UP IN MR. MILLERS EYES]
"But...but...that means I will have paid--$50,000 dollars for the car...and $10,000 dollars for repairs...and I'll never have a warantee again...that's like...[ADDS IN HEAD FOR 30 SECONDS]...$60,000 dollars!!"
"Well, then, Mr. Miller, it looks like our numbers are gibing with yours."
"I [SOB] might as well have bought a used VIPER for that much money! At least I would have got some chicks to flash me... and I would have gone faster!"
"Thank you for choosing FORD, Mr. Miller."
Cheers, :beer:
Robert
