I know they make stuff to remove swirls and small, shallow scratches... but what steps, if any, can i take to remove bigger, deeper scratches... without having to repaint... any suggestions?
If you can feel them with your fingernail, chances are you will never be able to fully remove the scratch. You can try an aggressive compound and wetsanding which will help even it out a little, but probably won't completely remove it. It will reduce the appearance though.
I don't recommend wetsanding to someone who has never done it before though. You will likely ruin your paint if you have never done it before (it requires the use of a high speed buffer as well).
You could always try a tube of that scratch X stuff. I have never used it but it may work.