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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Need some insight from part time fathers ;)
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<blockquote data-quote="Fromadigg" data-source="post: 15538342" data-attributes="member: 184660"><p>I get that, and I've been running into that. But I'm trying to prevent the opposite issue too. My dad did 50\50 but never really wanted to or lived up to it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this the best I can. </p><p></p><p> He lucked out in that by the time they split, I was old enough (12\13) that I could be mostly self sufficient. I don't know the exact time line, but shortly there after I was raising myself. This caused a lot of issues later in life not having a father figure. He basically just bought his way out of everything. I could and can tell he was miserable doing that, while declaring to everyone whenever anyone will listen how great of a father he was and how much he loves his kids. It's just feel good bullshit.</p><p></p><p>I really don't want that to be me, but I already got suckered for 10 years, I have to draw some lines in the sand. You can only sacrifice so much of yourself. I did everything I could and finally got some good advice from AA.</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">We didn’t cause it – it is not our fault that the other person drinks, it is their private battle</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">We can’t control it – we have no power over the other person's desire to drink</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">We can’t cure it – it is an illness that cannot be cured through any known medical remedies</li> </ul><p>Her issue isn't alcohol. But regardless, it's helpful to know that you have to set limits. And then past that I decided to work on some of my own personal issues of how I got here, namely that I didn't have any person boundaries. I was always trying to work though things to some better resolution, not realizing I should have taken "an L" a long long time ago.</p><p></p><p>It's just so alien to me that a woman would sacrifice her family for such stupid bullshit, but I've learned that lesson the hard way. Even more confusing is how someone could think that this stuff wouldn't catch up to them and then just play stupid.</p><p></p><p>I'll tell you, a pathological liar is a terrifying and dangerous person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fromadigg, post: 15538342, member: 184660"] I get that, and I've been running into that. But I'm trying to prevent the opposite issue too. My dad did 50\50 but never really wanted to or lived up to it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this the best I can. He lucked out in that by the time they split, I was old enough (12\13) that I could be mostly self sufficient. I don't know the exact time line, but shortly there after I was raising myself. This caused a lot of issues later in life not having a father figure. He basically just bought his way out of everything. I could and can tell he was miserable doing that, while declaring to everyone whenever anyone will listen how great of a father he was and how much he loves his kids. It's just feel good bullshit. I really don't want that to be me, but I already got suckered for 10 years, I have to draw some lines in the sand. You can only sacrifice so much of yourself. I did everything I could and finally got some good advice from AA. [LIST] [*]We didn’t cause it – it is not our fault that the other person drinks, it is their private battle [*]We can’t control it – we have no power over the other person's desire to drink [*]We can’t cure it – it is an illness that cannot be cured through any known medical remedies [/LIST] Her issue isn't alcohol. But regardless, it's helpful to know that you have to set limits. And then past that I decided to work on some of my own personal issues of how I got here, namely that I didn't have any person boundaries. I was always trying to work though things to some better resolution, not realizing I should have taken "an L" a long long time ago. It's just so alien to me that a woman would sacrifice her family for such stupid bullshit, but I've learned that lesson the hard way. Even more confusing is how someone could think that this stuff wouldn't catch up to them and then just play stupid. I'll tell you, a pathological liar is a terrifying and dangerous person. [/QUOTE]
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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Need some insight from part time fathers ;)
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