Home
What's new
Latest activity
Authors
Store
Latest reviews
Search products
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New listings
New products
New profile posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
Cart
Cart
Loading…
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Search titles only
By:
Menu
Log in
Register
Navigation
Install the app
Install
More options
Change style
Contact us
Close Menu
Forums
SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Some good ones from Hollywood Squares
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="mx_9" data-source="post: 1730559" data-attributes="member: 13431"><p>If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will</p><p>bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the</p><p>days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and</p><p>clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was</p><p>the host asking the questions, of course. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Do female frogs croak? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you</p><p>be? </p><p></p><p>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. </p><p></p><p>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a</p><p>woman? </p><p></p><p>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that</p><p>he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? </p><p></p><p>A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? </p><p></p><p>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? </p><p></p><p>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? </p><p></p><p>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your</p><p>handswhile talking? </p><p></p><p>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give</p><p>you a gesture you'll never forget. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? </p><p></p><p>A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get</p><p>any during the first year? </p><p></p><p>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? </p><p></p><p>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.</p><p>One is politics, what is the other? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? </p><p></p><p>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls? </p><p></p><p>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose</p><p>do? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the</p><p>habit of kissing a lot of people? </p><p></p><p>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"</p><p>What does this mean? </p><p></p><p>A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,</p><p>what was he trying to do? </p><p></p><p>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your</p><p>elephant? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? </p><p></p><p>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has</p><p>actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? </p><p></p><p>A. Charley Weaver: His feet </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never </p><p></p><p>do in bed? </p><p></p><p>A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mx_9, post: 1730559, member: 13431"] If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your handswhile talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean? A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Some good ones from Hollywood Squares
Top