Ended a long relationship this weekend

[mikecobra01]

What’s up everybody

I don’t post much here nowadays, but I still lurk around from time to time. I thought “what better place to vent than SVTP?”

This weekend I decided to end my relationship with my girlfriend of 8 years. Long story short, I have been feeling trapped, and I could not live my life as I would want to. She wanted to get married, and that’s not something I care to take part of anytime soon.

This feeling is so weird that I have. I feel a great deal of stress has been lifted off my shoulders. This is something I’ve wanted for a while. But I still can’t shake this feeling of regret I have.

I know in the back of my mind I made the right choice. And maybe it will just take a while for everything to sink in. But I’m looking forward to what the future brings. And the people I will meet. I feel so lost when it comes to meeting new people since I haven’t done it in over 8 years.

I apologize for the rant, but I just needed a place to type my feelings that someone may see and just tell me everything will be ok.

Thanks SVTP

 

[Ohio Snake]

Plenty of fish in the sea. It’s good to go fishing. Im sure you’ll find a great piece of bass and try staying away from the crappie.


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[OETKB]

People fear change, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't make changes. It is a natural thing to feel remorse after ending a long running relationship. Something would be wrong with you if you didn't.
And if you felt trapped, you were. Ending a dating relationship is a whole lot cheaper than ending a married one.
Onward and upward.

 

[VenomousDSG]

 

[TK1299]

I ended a 7 year relationship with someone about 4 years ago. It took about a month to hit me, but it devastated me. I still have dreams about her and think of her every day. It was too late to get back together(long story). It will haunt me forever.
My point being, give it some time without her and make sure you're doing what's best. Good luck bro

 

[OETKB]

I dated this hot greek chick for five years in my early to mid twenties. We almost got married. There was this crazy chemistry between us that made me bonkers for her, but we also fought like cats and dogs, and finally broke up. That was 35 years ago, and I've been married to someone else for 28. I used to think about that chick all the time, until I talked to her a few years ago and realized that she never grew up and is still an idiot.

Somethings in life are just not easy. Better to be haunted with regret than to marry the wrong one.

 

[PaxtonShelby]

Hang in there. You have made a tough choice no doubt and it will take some time to set in. No advice here except be sure to take the high road and be thoughtful and considerate of her feelings.

 

[BladeX10]

Broke up with my GF of 4 years in late 2014 for something really similar. She wanted to get married and have kids, Be a stay at home mom and settle completely down and that just isnt the life i want to live, atleast for quite a while.

I wanted to work on myself, Working towards a career, save money, go on trips and enjoy life/youth and she just wasnt with it. It sucked at first, Questioned everything i wanted for myself and it stung seeing happy families walking around with their young kids enjoying life knowing i let that go but 2 years later, She is married and has a kid now and is a stay at home mom and i'm doing exactly what i want to do and i'm 100% fine. I even went to their wedding.

 

[Riptide]

It took that girl eight years to figure out she wanted marriage?

 

[4a7191a]

Still miss my ex of 10 years. I feel bad being a man whore these days , but I know I couldn't love anyone like I loved her so it is what it is.

 

[mikecobra01]

Thanks everyone for the replies. Keep them coming I enjoy knowing I’m not the only one that’s gone through this.

I’m going to start living my life the way I want. I’m going to start going to the gym again(which she didn’t like me going to because she assumed I was going there to pick up woman). I’m going to hang out with friends more. Travel more. Buy a motorcycle. Live life.

 

[TK1299]

 

[HudsonFalcon]

Sorry to hear Mike. Getting out of a long term relationship is never easy but it sounds like you made the right choice brother. Plenty of other women out there but enjoy the single life for a while. Report back your future conquests in the hot girlfriend thread lol.

 

[Dirks9901]

Been there, done that. Had a mutual break up (7 years) with what I still consider the love of my life. She was also my best friend and have known her since we were kids. Ultimately, we went down different paths. Very long, confusing and painful story. My logical side said it's the right thing to do but emotionally felt wrong.

Ill say this, after reading your post, you made the right decision. But it will be a tough road ahead. But you will get through it man. My advice would be to stay BUSY. Hit the gym, get some new clothes, dive into your hobbies, travel, hang with your buddies and make some new friends, step outside your comfort zone and learn or try new things. Its self improvement time. I will tell you all of these things will help.

Start dating when you feel ready. Some will tell you to plow as many fields as possible in the meantime. I agree and disagree that. Its a personal preference and it really depends a lot on your age IMO. I have went down both paths at one point with that lol. My advice is to not be a hermit and date casually for while concentrating on improving yourself.

Live life bro

 

[Ford>Chevy]

Never been in a LTR, but some advice an old fella gave me was pretty simple and straight forward. He said something along the line of, "You may feel regret and or sadness in the short term, but when you look back, you'll realize it was just a page or 2 in the book of life, and you'll remember the happy moments, and maybe some sad ones too. Just put one foot in front of the other, stay the course, and good things will happen." Good Luck OP, plenty more to look forward to in life so long as you keep an open mind.

 

[fangstang]

Broke up with my GF of 4 years in late 2014 for something really similar. She wanted to get married and have kids, Be a stay at home mom and settle completely down and that just isnt the life i want to live, atleast for quite a while.

I wanted to work on myself, Working towards a career, save money, go on trips and enjoy life/youth and she just wasnt with it. It sucked at first, Questioned everything i wanted for myself and it stung seeing happy families walking around with their young kids enjoying life knowing i let that go but 2 years later, She is married and has a kid now and is a stay at home mom and i'm doing exactly what i want to do and i'm 100% fine. I even went to their wedding.

Now that is ****ing weird.

 

[Kevins89notch]

I’m going to start living my life the way I want. I’m going to start going to the gym again(which she didn’t like me going to because she assumed I was going there to pick up woman). I’m going to hang out with friends more. Travel more. Buy a motorcycle. Live life.

While clearly your opinion will be one sided... if she didn't want you going to the gym for that stupid of a reason, yeah, she had problems. Enjoy your freedom man!

 

[7upstang]

I’m going to start living my life the way I want. I’m going to start going to the gym again(which she didn’t like me going to because she assumed I was going there to pick up woman). I’m going to hang out with friends more. Travel more. Buy a motorcycle. Live life.

Do just this. Work on yourself, don't rush into another relationship in the least bit. Life is too short to be unhappy.

 

[Rare40th]

Like Ford>Chevy said it's only a couple of pages in a long book so don't let it get you down too much. I can't say a ton because my longest relationship was 2.5 years but as long as you surround yourself with friends and family and enjoy just being yourself you will be happier than ever. You'll also realize a lot of things about not only yourself but of that relationship and that it was okay to move on and let go. I've spent the last 2.5 years single because of what I thought was the best thing in my life walking away, but it turns out that it has led me to someone else about two months ago that may be forever... So best of luck man, focus on yourself, have fun and an open door will come along that you won't regret

 

[Never_Enough]

Plenty of fish in the sea. It’s good to go fishing. Im sure you’ll find a great piece of bass and try staying away from the crappie.


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Gonna disagree w/"it's good to go fishing"
Dating sucks ass these days. I'm tired of it, but also not going to get into a relationship just to be in one.

To the OP, process it & feel whatever you need to feel. You'll get over it and be good to go.