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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Found my father and dont know what to do.
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<blockquote data-quote="Captain Steve" data-source="post: 2085135" data-attributes="member: 25725"><p>It sounds like you're a bit confused and emotional. I think you're looking for us to help you clarify your thinking, so here's some thoughts from me, since I'm totally objective.</p><p></p><p>Here's what I think I know about you from your post.</p><p></p><p>You're married. You're over 21. You've never been formally introduced to your dad, but have spoken to him on the phone a couple of times.</p><p></p><p>When you were twelve, you tried to get together but "something always came up".</p><p>You would "give anything just to spend a day with him and have a few beers".</p><p></p><p>Ok, the other information available is that you contacted your dad to get in touch, and were told it was "blah blah .. isn't really a good time".</p><p></p><p></p><p>Here's my list of things you should be asking yourself. Yes-no questions.</p><p></p><p>Do I want to meet my dad?</p><p>Does my dad want to meet me?</p><p></p><p>Those two questions are what are boiling inside right now. Here's my spin on what'll happen, depending on how you answer them.</p><p></p><p>yes, yes : You get together and meet your dad. You're either glad, lukewarm, or sad about it. </p><p></p><p>yes, no : You either don't meet your dad and are sad about it, or you go stalker on him and track him down and confront him. I rate your chances of anything but sad ending to this as low. You might confront him and have a made-for-tv moment where everything is suddenly ok.. but probably not.</p><p></p><p>no, yes : You decided your dad was a deadbeat but he goes stalker on you after all these years. This is probably the least likely scenario.. he hasn't been there all your life, probably won't change now. Outcome is most likely sad, barring the miracles.</p><p></p><p>no, no : You put it behind you. Outcome.. sad for awhile, then lukewarm. You vow to be there for your kids and become a better father.</p><p></p><p>All in all, I see 4 sads, 2 miracle happy endings, two lukewarm reactions, and one happy. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This ends your free advise. Remember, you get what you pay for.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Captain Steve, post: 2085135, member: 25725"] It sounds like you're a bit confused and emotional. I think you're looking for us to help you clarify your thinking, so here's some thoughts from me, since I'm totally objective. Here's what I think I know about you from your post. You're married. You're over 21. You've never been formally introduced to your dad, but have spoken to him on the phone a couple of times. When you were twelve, you tried to get together but "something always came up". You would "give anything just to spend a day with him and have a few beers". Ok, the other information available is that you contacted your dad to get in touch, and were told it was "blah blah .. isn't really a good time". Here's my list of things you should be asking yourself. Yes-no questions. Do I want to meet my dad? Does my dad want to meet me? Those two questions are what are boiling inside right now. Here's my spin on what'll happen, depending on how you answer them. yes, yes : You get together and meet your dad. You're either glad, lukewarm, or sad about it. yes, no : You either don't meet your dad and are sad about it, or you go stalker on him and track him down and confront him. I rate your chances of anything but sad ending to this as low. You might confront him and have a made-for-tv moment where everything is suddenly ok.. but probably not. no, yes : You decided your dad was a deadbeat but he goes stalker on you after all these years. This is probably the least likely scenario.. he hasn't been there all your life, probably won't change now. Outcome is most likely sad, barring the miracles. no, no : You put it behind you. Outcome.. sad for awhile, then lukewarm. You vow to be there for your kids and become a better father. All in all, I see 4 sads, 2 miracle happy endings, two lukewarm reactions, and one happy. This ends your free advise. Remember, you get what you pay for. [/QUOTE]
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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Found my father and dont know what to do.
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