Great Joke!

98obra

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Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden . . . POOF! In a flash of light and a puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" Then POOF!....she was gone.

After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred."Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows."

Dave yells back...... "DON'T SWING FRED!!! For God sake, DON'T SWING!!!!"
:D
 

98obra

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Heres a better one I think.

Three men walk into a bar. A doctor, lawyer, and a biker. They all sit up to the bar, order a drink, and start discussing what they got their wives for Valentines Day.

The doctor orders a martini and says, "For Valentines Day I got my wife two presents: a set of diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet. This way if she doesn't like the set of diamond earrings I got her, she will still love me because I got her a diamond bracelet."

Then, the lawyer orders a drink. He tells the bartender to bring him a vodka on the rocks. He then states, "For Valentines Day I also got my wife two presents. I got her a fur coat and a diamond necklace. This way if she doesn't like fur coat I got her, she will still love me because I got her a diamond necklace."

Finally, the biker orders a shot of tequila and states what he got his wife for Valentines Day. He says, "For Valentines Day I also got my wife two presents. I got her a t-shirt and a dildo. This way if she doesn't like the t-shirt I got her, then she can F___ herself."
 

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