Hey, SVTP Parents -- Tell Your Kids About Their Family!

[zzzzzer]

I never knew my dad's side of the family too well - for reasons I won't get into - but I met them them a couple of years ago. It answered some questions I had about myself and we still speak from time to time.

Anyway, I spoke to my aunt this week. She said my grandfather was still very sick (cancer) and my grandmother's alzheimer's is progressively getting worse. Than she said something that changed EVERYTHING I knew about myself...

"I wish mama could have gone back home before she and daddy got sick."

When she said "home" I thought she meant New York, b/c my grandparents are from there originally. Nope...she didn't mean New York...she meant the freakin' Dominican Republic!



My grandmother is Dominican and my grandfather is part Dominican. I NEVER HAD A CLUE!! My mother never said anything, my dad never said anything, and the only physical trait I think I have that would indicate something "different" is my hair. Its really wavvy, which is weird IMO b/c I'm a brown-skinned black guy.

This shouldn't change how I look at myself but it feels like something is different. I actually got up and looked in the mirror after getting off the phone.

Last night I met this girl who's Latina and told her I recently found out I was part-Dominican and she acted as if I belonged to some new club or something. She was telling me I have to learn Spanish (which I studied on-and-off) and that I should meet one of her brother's friends who's Dominican and on and on and on...

My dad is in Iraq so we haven't spoken in months and I haven't called my mom since I found out on Wednesday. I'll be honest -- I'm a little p/ssed at both of them. Anyway, parents out there, please do me a favor -- don't hold family tree info from your kids. Its what makes them who they are. If they grow up knowing their roots they can be proud of it. If someone tells them 26 years after they're born they're just gonna feel a little confused.

Thanks for listening. And, hey, at least I know I'm an American...unless there's something else people aren't telling me!!!

:??:

 

[Sailing2Smth]

Heard that man!
Ya know, its funny that you posted this. I had a very looong conversation with my grandmother, and I asked her about my last name...Pinder...not a very common name at all and all the Pinder's I have met in my life are Black.

I asked her, "Granny, where does our last name come from, do we have any other type of nationalites in our roots?"
She replied "The Pinder name is Bohemian, and your grandfather and his parents are full blooded Bohemian."
I had no clue and I cannot see any type of trait that is carried from people that are from the islands.
But I do not even think that my parents knew at all, although I am still pissed at my father for reason I will not disclose.

But its all good man, your parents probaly didn't think that it was something that was extremely important :shrug:

 

[zzzzzer]

Good point, bro. Makes me wonder what adopted kids go through when they find out (though our situation isn't nearly as drastic as that). I'm glad you spoke to your grandmother and got some answers.

 

[esqeddy]

I never met my real father until I was a senior in college. I had to search him down myself. Once I set my mind to it, I located him within 3 days. I had already learned a few things about my father and his family but there was much I didn't know.

I discovered that my greatgrandfather was a general in the Cuba military way back when, that my fathers side of the family had move to the Tampa, Fa. area in the late 1800s and started a large cigar business there. Most surprisingly, I learned that I had half brothers and sisters that I never knew existed.

I got to know my father a bit over the years before he died of cancer. He was an intelligent man that did not live within the guidelines of society. My fathers side of the family is all spanish/english speaking...with the exception of me.

The point is, its always good to know where you come from. Good and bad.

 

[Sailing2Smth]

Originally posted by zzzzzer
Good point, bro. Makes me wonder what adopted kids go through when they find out (though our situation isn't nearly as drastic as that). I'm glad you spoke to your grandmother and got some answers.

I would assume that they already know, unless its they're the same nationality as the host parents then it would be up to the parents to tell them.

Honestly Jay, I do not think that I would say anything if I adopted a kid that was black......I think that it would cause too much drama for them. I mean....not everyone adopts Black kids, and for them to be put up for adoption probaly means that something extremely ****ed up has happend to them. So I would not say a word.:nonono:

 

[Sailing2Smth]

Originally posted by esqeddy
I never met my real father until I was a senior in college. I had to search him down myself. Once I set my mind to it, I located him within 3 days. I had already learned a few things about my father and his family but there was much I didn't know.

I still would like to find mine....

 

[zzzzzer]

Yeah, keeping adoption from a kid is something I can understand (my little cousin is adopted) but I don't understand the rationale behind not telling one's children about their culture (all sides of it).

I feel like I'm being one of those over-dramatic tree huggers I can't stand. I don't mean to come across that way -- just had to get this off my chest, that's all.

Originally posted by esqeddy
I never met my real father until I was a senior in college...I got to know my father a bit over the years before he died of cancer...The point is, its always good to know where you come from. Good and bad.

Wow...I'm glad you got to know your dad. That's a kick azz family history, as well! You're definitely right about it being good to know where you come from. BTW, sorry to hear about your father's passing.

EDIT: Tony if you want to meet your dad I pray you get the opportunity, man. My dad and I have a rocky relationship at best. Probably why having a child one of these days scares the living daylights outta me. I want to be a better father than he was (even though I love 'em).

 

[Sailing2Smth]

Originally posted by zzzzzer
Yeah, keeping adoption from a kid is something I can understand (my little cousin is adopted) but I don't understand the rationale behind not telling one's children about their culture (all sides of it).

I feel like I'm being one of those over-dramatic tree huggers I can't stand. I don't mean to come across that way -- just had to get this off my chest, that's all.


Wow...I'm glad you got to know your dad. That's a kick azz family history, as well! You're definitely right about it being good to know where you come from. BTW, sorry to hear about your father's passing.

EDIT: Tony if you want to meet your dad I pray you get the opportunity, man. My dad and I have a rocky relationship at best. Probably why having a child one of these days scares the living daylights outta me. I want to be a better father than he was (even though I love 'em).

Shit its all good man......I do not think that you're being overdramatic at all. You just wanted to know what was the deal. But meeting my real father at this point in my life, I think that its best if I don't. Keep in mind that I haven't seen this dude since I was 5 or 6 months old.

So I can see what you're saying about being a better man than the man that got u here. I totally agree with your point of view!!!

 

[GoatDaddy]

Brother Jay: welcome back. How goes the SP'ing?

One's heritage is fascinating, and I'm glad you had some questions answered, even if it was a bit unsettling.

I'm kind of a hairy, light-skinned white guy, and I recently learned that my biological parents were wolves, but they had to give me up for adoption because I was # 9 in the litter. I always suspected it, too, because I didn't look like my siblings, and sometimes I would lick my nutz in public or attack the neighbors' livestock.

 

[zzzzzer]

:lol: :lol: ROFLMAO -- Is that b/c of your wolf heritage or b/c TAC-P left you a little bit unstable...lol :-D

BTW, SP training is going well. Its kinda funny to be back at Lackland, though. The other day at the Shoppette I saw an Instructor make a trainee lock it up in the middle of the toothpaste aisle. :lol1: Ahhhhh...those were the days.

And, hey, Tony -- I know what you're saying man and can definitely relate as to why you feel that way.

 

[GoatDaddy]

"Gimme a 341!" LMFAO.

 

[bobh]

The first one on my dad's side came over from England to Surry County, VA on the "Assurance" in 1635.
Mom's side from Scotland then Canada.
Making me some kind of Canuck hillbilly mut.

 

[zzzzzer]

"Gimme a 341!" - 50
:lol: LMAO...EXACTLY!!!!

Originally posted by bobh
The first one on my dad's side came over from England to Surry County, VA on the "Assurance" in 1635.
Mom's side from Scotland then Canada.
Making me some kind of Canuck hillbilly mut.

You're not a mut -- you're international! :thumbsup: