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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Married Life - What would you do - Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Grabber" data-source="post: 16112960" data-attributes="member: 70485"><p>Mr. Nick - First off, I am sorry for your divorce man. Especially since you have children involved. </p><p></p><p>So, there is a lot I can say.</p><p></p><p>She would be a good mom in the sense that she is robotic, very intelligent and would teach the child to be smart. As far as loving one, she cannot stand anyone else's kids, but, I love them, unless it is an annoying child at a store that is creating chaos. She would be a good mom that sense, but, she even told me, I'd be the loving/compassionate one out of the two. That scares me a bit. </p><p></p><p>My mother is a psychopath. She has even driven me to the point where I've wanted to end my life in recent years. She is sick (physically) and there is a lot of baggage that has been carried over from the time I dated my wife until now. My mom tried driving a wedge and wanted to be the only woman in my life. I fought that. I sacrificed taking care of my mother for the safety of my marriage and now my Mother is in her final years and my wife still wants nothing to do with her. </p><p></p><p>She has stated she is worried about my health because drinking is bad for you. I know this, but, I don't drink in excess. I am not violent or angry at all when I drink, kind of the opposite. I am very loving, friendly and calm when I drink. Plus, I drink to enjoy, not out of necessity. </p><p></p><p>She has told me flat out, she does NOT want responsibility of having to take care of another person, by cooking for them, cleaning for them, shopping, teaching them, etc. It scares her, but, also, she does not want it. </p><p></p><p>Again, every time we've had a huge major conversation where we spend hours and hours talking and crying, she changes her mind completely the next day and says she will work on it and "everything will be OK"</p><p></p><p>I know she loves me, and doesn't want to lose me. I think with the current resentment of what I have now and her wanting time to make a choice if she wants a family with me is a big risk. I am a child of divorced parents (during high school) and frankly, it ruined me. I don't want the kids to be the only reason we stay together if we start to resent each other, and right now, it is looking that way. </p><p></p><p>She does a lot. She cooks, does the shopping, gives me advice, etc. I pay the majority of the bills, watch what I spend, have "rules" if you will about what I buy, how much I spend on alcohol (we do have a bit of debt, but, nothing that is putting is in a situation where every dollar counts, and I am grateful for that). I do the grunt work of the house, keep my family away from her, certain friends that she doesn't like, etc. </p><p></p><p>We've broken up a few times in the 10 years of dating. There were points where she stopped having sex with me all together, and we've gone nearly two years without sex, she gained weight, etc. Every time, I chased her down, because she convinced me she'd accept me (I was angry and mean in my 20's and had a hard time dealing with my emotions) and I've never once, asked her to change anything, accept to just work with me. She's done that a bit, but, the kid thing is a huge issue for me and the drinking thing that has led me to start resenting her and how both things are affecting my mental state are very hard to deal with.</p><p></p><p>I can write pages worth of things, but, I won't just yet. </p><p>-Chris</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Grabber, post: 16112960, member: 70485"] Mr. Nick - First off, I am sorry for your divorce man. Especially since you have children involved. So, there is a lot I can say. She would be a good mom in the sense that she is robotic, very intelligent and would teach the child to be smart. As far as loving one, she cannot stand anyone else's kids, but, I love them, unless it is an annoying child at a store that is creating chaos. She would be a good mom that sense, but, she even told me, I'd be the loving/compassionate one out of the two. That scares me a bit. My mother is a psychopath. She has even driven me to the point where I've wanted to end my life in recent years. She is sick (physically) and there is a lot of baggage that has been carried over from the time I dated my wife until now. My mom tried driving a wedge and wanted to be the only woman in my life. I fought that. I sacrificed taking care of my mother for the safety of my marriage and now my Mother is in her final years and my wife still wants nothing to do with her. She has stated she is worried about my health because drinking is bad for you. I know this, but, I don't drink in excess. I am not violent or angry at all when I drink, kind of the opposite. I am very loving, friendly and calm when I drink. Plus, I drink to enjoy, not out of necessity. She has told me flat out, she does NOT want responsibility of having to take care of another person, by cooking for them, cleaning for them, shopping, teaching them, etc. It scares her, but, also, she does not want it. Again, every time we've had a huge major conversation where we spend hours and hours talking and crying, she changes her mind completely the next day and says she will work on it and "everything will be OK" I know she loves me, and doesn't want to lose me. I think with the current resentment of what I have now and her wanting time to make a choice if she wants a family with me is a big risk. I am a child of divorced parents (during high school) and frankly, it ruined me. I don't want the kids to be the only reason we stay together if we start to resent each other, and right now, it is looking that way. She does a lot. She cooks, does the shopping, gives me advice, etc. I pay the majority of the bills, watch what I spend, have "rules" if you will about what I buy, how much I spend on alcohol (we do have a bit of debt, but, nothing that is putting is in a situation where every dollar counts, and I am grateful for that). I do the grunt work of the house, keep my family away from her, certain friends that she doesn't like, etc. We've broken up a few times in the 10 years of dating. There were points where she stopped having sex with me all together, and we've gone nearly two years without sex, she gained weight, etc. Every time, I chased her down, because she convinced me she'd accept me (I was angry and mean in my 20's and had a hard time dealing with my emotions) and I've never once, asked her to change anything, accept to just work with me. She's done that a bit, but, the kid thing is a huge issue for me and the drinking thing that has led me to start resenting her and how both things are affecting my mental state are very hard to deal with. I can write pages worth of things, but, I won't just yet. -Chris [/QUOTE]
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Married Life - What would you do - Advice
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