Whats the best Car Salesman tricks/stories/comments/tactics you have seen or heard?

[SVTgriff]

Don't you just love how most car salespeople are just so damn sleezy with their job practice?

{You pull into a new car dealer. You get out walk and look around a car you fancy.....Then you look up towards the dealer showroom building at the gang of them just waiting, smoking like a chimney, drooling for the next "sucker".... For a split second you think its an angry pack of wolves and your a stray lamb.....then you realize, that is almost true ...You see one of them drop his cigarette on the ground and smash it with the toe of his shoe and start to grind it into the pavement with a twisting motion like he is doing a Chubby Checker dance....He walks up introduces himself and hands you his business card, you notice its a dealer card from a salesperson that quit or got fired and left his box of cards behind, because the name is scratched out and has this guys name hand written on it.....__________}

What happened next? Whats your experiences? {Fill in the blank}

Also, what are some great lines salespeople use?

I like these:
"I tell ya whata I'll do for ya"
"Thats a real nice color. That is my favorite"
"You sure would look nice driving that"
"That sure is a good lookin car" (As if you would be looking a ugly one )
"Let me be honest with you"
"...Becuase I like you"
"Buddy", "Friend", "Pal", or "Sweetheart" (last one from the ladies sales person or to a female customer)
"I'll take real good care of you"
"How much you looking to spend" (For most people, as little as possible, right genius? :rollseyes)

 

[slick4_6]

I talked to a guy today that looked at a STi at the Subaru dealership that had a factory 600hp 4 cylinder.

Edit: It also got over 30 mpg, even though thats not what the window sticker said.

 

[DARKSTI]

I talked to a guy today that looked at a STi at the Subaru dealership that had a factory 600hp 4 cylinder.

Edit: It also got over 30 mpg, even though thats not what the window sticker said.

rofl. I get 22MPG on my best days

 

[kingCOBRAsvt_99]

Redneckbmxer24 and I went up to our local Ford dealership today seeing if they had a GT500 yet. We were approached by a salesman who asked if we needed help and replied we were just seeing if they had one yet. He responded they sold theirs over two months ago. He thought we were talking about the Ford GT which I promptly told him No we arent talking about Ford GT you sold to Washington state ( I probably knew more about the sale then he did) and told him we were talking about the new Shelby. He returned back to where he was standing probably feeling like a dumbass. Then later a used salesman procedeed to tell us that he own's two FIFTY's (what he calls 5.0's). I love going to dealerships and knowing more about the cars they are selling than they do. Bwhahaha

 

[Ace5Oh]

AHhahah

I was bored and I was looking at the SRT-4's. Anyways well the salesman said no Srt-4 existed haha. I couldn’t stop lol.

 

[Sinister04L]

I JUST went through all this crap this past week. Fortunately, I know how to buy a new car, how to research invoice pricing, how to factor in factory incentives, etc etc. There was one sleazeball salesman that I caught in so many lies it was pathetic. It's a really long story so I won't bore you with it, but needless to say I embarrased the shit out of him, and got the deal I wanted at another dealership and I'm happy.

 

[moddestmike]

I'm currently trying to buy an L. See my other post in roadside. The guy said the truck was freakin turbocharged.
I have a becon score of 699 and they said my payments on a 19000 truck would be 520/month. STFU!!! I started to walk and they are currently working on getting it to 300-325/month. They are some ass holes. Did not take me seriously because I look like I'm 15. I'm 22 years old dammit. :fm:

 

[monkeyspunk79]

I'm currently trying to buy an L. I have a becon score of 699 and they said my payments on a 19000 truck would be 520/month. STFU!!! I started to walk and they are currently working on getting it to 300-325/month. They are some ass holes.

Man I got the same thing when i bought my 98. The guy d*cked me around with the financing and eventually came back the next day with a real offer.

That was after I pointed out the car didn't have catalytic converters on it (Came with a Bassani O/R X-pipe already on it). I told the salesman that I wasn't buying the car without a new Ford factory H-pipe from the parts counter.

The guy got his sales manager and actually said to me: "Can you prove that the car can't pass emissions?"

I said: "Can you prove it can?"

The guy came back with: "Why don't I see if it really doesn't have converters on it."

He had to get the service manager to come and show him where they were supposed to be and explain what a catalytic converter does :loser: :rollseyes

Needless to say I gave them hell and got the car with a new H-pipe that still sits in the garage.

Salesmen don't know SH*T 99% of the time.

 

[grimreefer]

and got the car with a new H-pipe that still sits in the garage.

:lol:

 

[moddestmike]

Now thats pimpin.

 

[99caddysts]

After 27 years at it, at like ~ oh, maybe 5 different dealerships, and dealing with whatever blows thru the door, one is bound to have several "You ain't never gonna believe this......#&**# kinda story" ~ So, here goes one of my 4 best. Hope ya all enjoy.....
__________________________

I am a greenhorn. It's 1968, my very first job. I am with an ICP dealership (Imperial/Chrysler/Plymouth). The General Manager makes all of the sales force (8 of us) go to a local MALL every Saturday morning, like around 11:00 AM and go "tagging" {Tagging SUCKS major} Tagging BTW, was outlawed many many years ago, now. Tagging is when you have a bunch or pre-printed advertisments, with your name on them. Each salesman takes two rows of cars and runs up & down the two rows sticking these things under people's windshield wipers. That's Tagging. Imagine it on a hot summer day in July humid and all & there ya are in a suit 'n tie runiing up & down lanes, holding onto 100 of these things & puttin' 'em under wipers
So,
the General Manager one day fires our SalesManager, and hires a new guy who sold him a bill of goods.... yada yada yada.... So, once agin (1968) and out we go tagging. So, the new Sales Manager seem to like me! and he confides in me that this tagging sucks major and that HE used to work for Monster Mega Wowser Motors in Long Island (N.Y.) and tagging is a waste of time, unless you cross the line. He tells me that if I keep his confidence, in what he's gonna do, I will "win the prize" ~ Now, I'm 23 and like from a foreign country in this business, so not knowing how shrewed this shady character is, I'm all kinda "Ya, Okay, what we gonna do" mentality.
So...
The others are all running 'round tagging, and Sandy & Mr. POWERHOUSE are together. Mr. Powerhouse calls me over and says, "We are looking for a 5 year old Chrysler or Plymouth in so-so shape. "Find Me One" ~ Sandy produces what will be (unknown to Sandy) THE VICTIM ! It's a 1964 Plymouth Fury II Sedan (middle model) Akin to a Bel Air not Impala....
My boss goes over & places the advertisment under the wiper arm , and then bends the SOB arm like a pretzel nearly breaking it off the car.
Immediately he blows the whistle,calling everyone back to the 9-passenger Town & Country Wagon we arrived in. Homeward Ho we go. When we get back, Mr. Powerhouse signals me to his office. He tells me - "Mr. Broken wiper will know exactly WHO broke his wiper. It's on the flyer. He'll be crusin' in here at some point today, ready to kill. Stay out of it. Keep your trap shut. All day everyone is calm and happy, Sandy is scared to death. At 3:03 PM (somthings ya never forget) into the driveway comes flying THE offended Plymouth. My boss sees and comes over to me & says WATCH! We are now gonna sell him a new car.
(Sandy thinks, if he don't shoot us up, first, ya, right). So, the beet red 50-ish Polish American guy bounces into the showroom, and is cursing & arms all over asking for my boss. Boss man appears. Wild broken wiper man is screaming & yelling at what happened to his wiper and and and and we had no right and and blah blah this & that and the old standard song called "Sue You". After he has spend his wind, my boss fesses up the truth. He apoligizes profusely and explains that when he placed the advertisment there, his suit jacket sleeve got caught on the wiper blade and he didn't know and in fast removing his arm that happened and he actually got his arm caught on it and that he got bady CUT ! he then produces his right arm which is now adorned with band-aids (like 5 or 6 or them). Mr. Bent Wiper is fast calming down and my boss tells him how deeply sorry he is and calls in the Service Manger who is clueless to all of this. He tells the Service Manager that this man's car is outside and the dealership is treating him (My Boss is actuallly paying) to a new wiper arm, a set of new wiper blades, an oil change, a lube, an oil filter, and air filter & a fuel filter - in other words, a full service ! Reason? it takes a long time. Now that Mr. Bent Wiper has totally calmed down and is getting a whole lot of freee service for just a bent wiper,
he's in a pretty friendly mood. My Boss (with bandages) appears and strikes up a friendly conversation with him about sports and "where are ya from" kinda talk and family-talk and and and bowling I recall, and they both turned out to have Polish backgrounds and and and. By now Mr. Bent Wiper is a kittycat. My boss winks at me to come over & "joint the party" & he introduces me and tells Mr. Bent Wiper that I am new & a rookie and to allow me to show him some new cars, so that I can practice..... Mr Bent Wiper doesn't wanna say no, after getting all that free service that's going on in the back, so he agrees. Sandy shows him the new 1968 Fury line and the Belvideres (mid size) and whatever else. Little by little Mr. Bent Wiper is geting interested. 45 minutes later he & I are out on a demo ride in a Belvidere 4-Dr Sedan. When we return Mr Powerhouse takes over. More B.S. and frolcking around and we're quoting prices with his car in trade. Exactly 30 minutes later, We have a DEAL, & Mr Bent Wiper is signing the sales contract. The following Monday AM we delivered him his new car, and he was happy as a pig in mud. We took a picture of him in his new car and posted it on our "Happy Owners" board, sent him a dozen bakery cupcakes as a Thank You, too.
We put the trade in on the used car lot and added the interrnal expense of the shop work to our cost involvement on the car, and sold it 4 days later for a large profit !
Mr. Powerhouse says to me, "I am giving you that deal - Sandy" ~ The commission is $107.00, and THAT'S HOW ya sell cars !
(He was the ONLY person to come in of the 200 flyers we stuck under wipers, BTW.)

-Sandy from cadillacforums.com



Springtime-1969 The Dodge Dealer I went to after the ICP dealer in story #1.

So, I've now been at the Dodge dealer 1 year and am well settled in. Sales are good and it's the usual day-in ~ day-out routine. We are excited about a car we have not yet seen that's coming next year called the Challenger. Dodge Darts are flying out of inventory as are Coronets and Polaras. My boss the General Manager is a drunk and is seldom totally sober. The body shop has been permanently closed (lost money) and a big furniture store has delivered a king-sized bed, end table and small 'Fridge, turning it into a mini bedroom, where my General Manager frequently "entertains" the female office manager "after hours". Both are married to others. The entire place has more or less of a "clown / circus atmosphere" & aura about itself.
There are few rules, and everybody takes turns being the boss. We sell alot of cars because we turn no deal down, and frequently sell a car at $100 UNDER our cost. We 3 salesmen have learned to perfectly copy our G.M.s signature and have attached it to the sales order, showing he ok'ed it. He can't recall cause he's either drunk, semi drunk, sleeping or "using the paint booth bedroom." The salesmen are now ordering the cars for stock, ok-ing their own deals and the atmosphere is "party-like" ~ It's great going to work. I love it! We are all driving Royal Monaco Broughams with nearly 30 options on them for our personal Demos. Our lunchs are delivered by the local catering place.

May - 1968.
We 3 are in the showroom and we hear what sounds like a few motorcycles. We are located on a major highway at the crest of a hill /\ we are at the point. The rumbles gets louder & louder. Finally we see 4 motorcycles .....
HOLY CRAP They are turning into OUR driveway. 4, no 6, no 9, no 11, no 15. 15 it is and all easily recognizable as HELL'S ANGELS. 3 salesmen are crapping and yelling "Who's UP" ? My luck. I am UP. The noise is positively deafening. They all park 15 Harleys. All are wearing the black leather jackets, with knives sticking out. One wants to buy a car.
Strangely, they are very polite to me, and very well beheaved. They name me Salesman Sandy. They are a "family" & do things together, they tell me, including murders. The buyer, I seem to recall... his name was Otto. The others called him "Otto the beaver-eater" I called him Mr. Otto. Seems Otto's "GrandMaMa" has "Kicked Off" {his words} and left him some "Coin" ~ He knows EXACTLY what he wants to buy (thanks God) and he "did seen" it in our stock on Sunday when we were closed. It's a Bright Blue Metallic Dodge Coronet "500" (Bucket Seats top of the line) 2-Dr. Hardtop with black vinyl roof & white vinyl interior. I show him the car. He's in love. He has brought CASH! $3,500.00 in a wide variety of denominations. He signs the order and in under 30 minutes he has seen the car, made the deal and paid cash. I go to my G.M. ~ Meanwhile the girls in the office have shut the venetian blinds and can be seen peeking out. The other salesmen have retired to the lunch room and are in hiding. Me & the G.M. are terrified that they are going to drive the car away & return with gun or knives and "take a refund". The place is on high alert. The Coronet is cleaned & serviced while they wait. NO OTHER customers enter. Some come on our property, and promptly leave! 15 Hell's Angels are spread out across the show room patiently waiting. After what seem like 4-ever & a day ~ the Coronet is brought around the front and parked out front. Otto the beaver eater smiles & goes to check it out. Our porter is bolting on TEMP plates and me & Otto are filling out forms. He is very nice. Horribly threatening looking, but pleasant. All done, the "Gang" has pretty much returned to the showroom floor and again is hangin' round. So.....
Otto asks the "family" how they like it. (Almost) everyone really really likes it, EXCEPT for "Killer" ~ Killer says, "It's one F##k#ng Ugly Son of a itch piece of hit car" WITH THIS, Otto lunges at Killer with his 40 pound each Mo-Cycle boots and procedes to kick Killer in the rear end, Killer looses his balance and Otto literally kicked Killer THRU the plate glass showroom window, as all the glass fell, showering our showroom with glass, damaging 2 cars with severe scratches, there's blood all over from Killer. Township police & ambulances show up. Killer refuses aid, his arm is cut fairly bad, and he refues help. Finally he gives in as we promise to put his bike inside the shop. We press NO charges (DUH). Reports are taken by the police. All Angels leave on bikes, Killer in ambulance. Otto in his new Coronet.
_______
The money was good (real) and the next day Otto appears with $500 to pay for a new window and spends 20 minutes making nice nice and saying his "sorrys" and that was pretty much the end of it all. Never saw the dud again. Killer picked up his bike and Ottos like 3 days later all bandaged up and said little. Our insurance paid for the damage to the cars on the floor. My commission was $67.00 and a lifetime memory! It's a vivid memory of seeing Killer sail thru the plate glass showroom window !

-Sandy from cadillacforums.com



One time i walked into a chevy/cadillac dealership looking for some new sts-v's and xlv-v's. I walk in with two of my friends (we look like we all just woke up) and immediately one older salesman come to us asking if he can help us with anything. We mention what we want to see and he brings us to them. While we examine the entire V lineup he is spouting off all kinds of facts (everything is correct) and is extremely polite. After we look at the cadillacs, we ask about the new z06. This man then brings us all the way to the other building where the chevys are located and opens up a z06 for us to admire.

This is by far one of the best dealership experiences that i have had. This salesman took his time to let three "kids" admire some beautifyul machines even though he knew he would not get a sale or any money out of it. This guy even offered us drinks and snacks. Very nice guy.

Btw, this is Macmulkin Chevolet in Nashua, NH.

-Me

 

[UCBeau]

my most interesting was when a salesman was adamant that the 4v cobras were SOHC....even when it said DOHC on the window sticker

 

[taronis]

traided my 94 sho.... (the car would stall and show the CES lamp daily)
the dealer took it for a test drive
upon his return he asked if the CES light ever came on before...
I HOLLERED "NO! WHAT THE PHUCK DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?"
he gave me what I wanted for the POS
woo-hoo

 

[01WhiteLight]

The first time I tried to buy a Lightning I had the salesman swear up and down that "this beautiful, like new (bone stock), 03' Lightning puts 500HP to the ground..."

after trying to convince him to the contrary, I asked him if he moonlighted at a dodge dealership... he didn't get it...


I am sure that many of you are fermiliar with the Cal Worthington chain of ford dealers... :bash:

 

[SVTgriff]

Good stuff guys...

Don't get me wrong, I have had a good experience with a Dealer in Dallas, GA (Hardy Chevrolet) Salesman named Rick. No games, super nice guy. No pressure at all....if he did not know something he told me the truth.

Also,my dad was a salesman at several dealerships when I was young and the sales managers are usually the biggest crooks, thats how they get to the job they have.....

 

[FordSVTFan]

I'm currently trying to buy an L. See my other post in roadside. The guy said the truck was freakin turbocharged.
I have a becon score of 699 and they said my payments on a 19000 truck would be 520/month. STFU!!! I started to walk and they are currently working on getting it to 300-325/month. They are some ass holes. Did not take me seriously because I look like I'm 15. I'm 22 years old dammit. :fm:

A 699 beacon/FICO score isnt Tier One, so you shouldnt expect the best interest rates.

 

[Labinnac]

I was living in Nashville, TN working my first career job when I got out of college. I was still driving my college beater and it was on its last legs. It was prone to overheating if I got stuck in traffic. And in Nashville in 1998 traffic was everywhere. I was living with my then girlfriend and future wife and eventual ex wife and we needed a second car that was reliable. Then she would have a vehicle for herself and I could drive the shitbox to work. I'm a nice guy what can I say?

We began looking at cars.

She had no idea what she wanted. We eventually settled on a pontiac bonneville for some retarded reason but that was still up in the air. Over the course of several weekends we made our rounds to various car dealerships around town. She still had no idea what she wanted and it was beginning to piss me off. I made an executive decision and decided to find a good deal and she would have to live with it.

We set out once again on a very hot and muggy Saturday morning to go car shopping. We headed to Murfreesboro, TN where there were several dealerships. I figured we'd hit them all if we had to. We hit a few used only lots with no luck. Then we stopped at the chevy dealership. It was horrible from the moment we got out of the car. I said we're interested in sedans, preferrably bonneviles. I inquired if they had any and they did. The salesprimate didn't even bother to show us those though. He kept pushing this hideous green chevy 1500 truck that they apparently just got in on trade. At that point I didn't even consider a truck so I thought "no ****ing way". I told the salesprimate this many many times. No matter what we looked at he kept going back to this stupid truck. It was clean, low miles, 5 speed, 2 wheel drive, regular cab, and fugly as sin evergreen colored. We spent about 45 minutes fighting with this idiot but he was tenacious as hell. I was getting tired and was ready to leave when my ex took over. We had been driving my beater which overheated and had no AC. It was a summer day in Nashville and was in the 90's and humid as hell. She asked the simple question:

"Does the truck have AC?"
At first I was dumbfounded and wanted to slap her but her genius hit me. The salesprimate said it was ice cold.
"Can we take it for a test drive?"
He promptly ran off to fetch the keys. She had an evil look in her eyes and I knew we were on the same page. We took the green chevy for a test drive and ended up at the ford dealership down the road and bought a brand new ranger. Both trucks and my beater were sticks and my ex didn't know how to drive one at that point. The salesman for ford followed me to the chevy dealership in my new ranger when I dropped off their truck and retrieved my beater. I got out, waved to them, threw the keys in the bed, jumped in my beater, and we both drove off laughing and laughing.

In retrospect this was a dickheaded thing to do. But, it was well deserved. The chevy salesman was pushy and did not listen to his customer and paid the price.

 

[Lightning Steve]

Chev dealer, "Look we can't tell you how much that car is untill you put a depost down on it".
Me, "WTF".
Dealer," yes, until you put a deposit down I can't go to the boss Man and get you the best deal".
I never found out what it cost, even after the Boss Man called my house and I asked point blank "how much is the frickin car!. Wanted me to come in ....
Went to Ford and bought a 1987 GT Mustang brand new the next day.

 

[Smokey1226]

this reminds me of when i went to buy my stang. I was driving a 94 taraus...*insert puke here*. It had 109k miles. It was my dads work car for a long time then my moms then a putt around car then it was mine right when i turned 16. It had cig burn holes from my mom, coffee spilled all over, just a sh*t box. The car wouldnt idle right at all, there were about 20 things wrong with it and needed to be fix. So anyways we went into the dealership and i seen the car. This shmuck comes out and tries talking to my dad and I and we just said ya ya w/e man. So we finally decide to go inside and "talk Numbers" like the guy said. We told him the amount of money we were going to spend, i was paying cash, no finance and we were tradeing in my taraus. So the guy said" ill have one of my guys take it for a lil spin to see the condition" I knew right away with the problems and ect. they wouldnt offer us much. So he came back and was like well the best we can do is $800. My dad was like are you crazy...i just put 4 new tires on that costed $400 right there. So the guy was like oh in that case maybe $900 lol. So after a lot back and forth (he supposibly had to go talk to his "boss" 6 times...they ended up giving us $2000 for the taraus and the price we wanted for the stang. Just as we were finishing signing the papers and leaving one of the guys comes up to us and said hey your taraus just died and wont turn over. My dad and I just started laughing, my dad said " its your car now, have a great night"! As many times as they screw people over they deserve to be screwed over too!

 

[TJSwoboda]

This is a very interesting article on car salesmen I read recently, flame away if it's a repost... http://www.edmunds.com/advice/buying/articles/42962/article.html

--T.J.