- Hyped as bball god: Since high school
- Tattoos: "Chosen one" (this one is the worst imho)
- T-Shirt: Check my $tats
- Best move: Crab dribble (illegal)
- Jump shot: Aesthetic
- On court: Dances when winning
- Loses: No hand shakes
- Important games: Quit
- Fault: Never his
- Coaches: Bumped
- Photograph sessions: Fake
- Elbow: Fake injury
- Dunked on: Tape stolen
- Promises to Cleveland: Broken
- Free agency: Classless ditching of Cleveland
- Decision: 1 hour ESPN special
- Competition: Joins them
- Press conferences: Rides Wade
- Birthday cake: 5 story w/crown
- Actually thinks: He's a king
- Towel boys: Humiliates them
- Overall game: Hasn't evolved
- Post moves: None
- Tweets: Wrong after wrong
- Mock fake coughing: Gets owned
- Fans: Thinks they are worthless
- Tips: 1.25% on a $800 tab
- Receding hairline: Rises/Widens headband
- Tattoos: "Chosen one" (this one is the worst imho)
- T-Shirt: Check my $tats
- Best move: Crab dribble (illegal)
- Jump shot: Aesthetic
- On court: Dances when winning
- Loses: No hand shakes
- Important games: Quit
- Fault: Never his
- Coaches: Bumped
- Photograph sessions: Fake
- Elbow: Fake injury
- Dunked on: Tape stolen
- Promises to Cleveland: Broken
- Free agency: Classless ditching of Cleveland
- Decision: 1 hour ESPN special
- Competition: Joins them
- Press conferences: Rides Wade
- Birthday cake: 5 story w/crown
- Actually thinks: He's a king
- Towel boys: Humiliates them
- Overall game: Hasn't evolved
- Post moves: None
- Tweets: Wrong after wrong
- Mock fake coughing: Gets owned
- Fans: Thinks they are worthless
- Tips: 1.25% on a $800 tab
- Receding hairline: Rises/Widens headband