Fred's not around today, so these will have to do.
I once dated a girl who broke up with me because I only have 8 toes. Yes, she was lack-toes intolerant
I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that's humerus.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.
Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?
Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers; the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A crow has only 16. Therefore, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied. "That's not just any old lizard ... he's a stand-up chameleon."
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it, but nobody saw it.
Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
My friend said she wouldn't eat a cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth.So, I gave her an egg.
Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King, but he made a great ruler.
Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg and tomorrow romaines to be seen.
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right ....... Jack and the beans talk.
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.
Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. You guessed it ......... the steaks were pretty high.
I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work.
I once dated a girl who broke up with me because I only have 8 toes. Yes, she was lack-toes intolerant
I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that's humerus.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.
Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?
Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers; the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A crow has only 16. Therefore, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied. "That's not just any old lizard ... he's a stand-up chameleon."
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it, but nobody saw it.
Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
My friend said she wouldn't eat a cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth.So, I gave her an egg.
Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King, but he made a great ruler.
Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg and tomorrow romaines to be seen.
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right ....... Jack and the beans talk.
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.
Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. You guessed it ......... the steaks were pretty high.
I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work.
