Last week my rescued dog bit my 2 year old...My grandmother found her on the side of the road in MS about 7-8 years ago and i kept her since my grandmom didn't want to have her put down. Well during a surgery she had basically a hernia surgery(intestine got tangled and pinched somehow we think it was a injury before we had her) I asked the vet how old she was. his response "well we don't knpw for sure but she's had around 5 litters" my first question was how do you tell that and my next and more important how old is she...he guessed around 16-17 years old...well much like with humans as we age we put up with less crap.
My two year old was feeding her cheese and when she ran out the dog just kinda growled and bit her. First time she's ever bitten anyone, but it made me so mad the first thing i did was grab the dog and bite her back without thinking or anything :rockon:...when i let go my 2 year old is laughing and the dog and my wife both look at me like:dw::xpl:...then the taste and my brain finally caught up with a what is that taste in my mouth...well apparently my wife was on the way to giving her a bath when my 2 year old distracted her with cheese b/c she caught her rolling on a dead bird and a pile of poo...
At this point i try to play it cool and do the marine thing "huh didn't taste that bad" when in reality my brain is like "OMG OMG OMG i just ate crap and a rotting rat with wings. I hate you I hate you I hate you." So after my wife takes the dog upstairs saying " yeah you are definitely not getting any tonight with that mouth..." I begin to think with my other brain..."ha i'll show her who's got the testis in this house" :idea: so i calmly walk down stairs and proceed to eat a half a tube of tooth paste to attempt to get the taste out of my mouth...well that was the wrong answer...turns out that equals insta heartburn which i turn with another bright idea and pound a Dr. Pepper not thinking oh this will not only not help but you are now going to vomit. I can hear my brain saying "this is payback you chode"...then i get a heart burn induced vomit apparently food from the last 4 days had been waiting to escape.
So i now have a rotting rat with wings covered in poo along with the taste of dr pepper, toothpaste (cool mint), watermelon and veggies erupting inside my mouth with the pressure of a firehose. well apparently my nose is like a wastegate...and my body decided to vacate some extra pressure and volume...so now i get the nose and all her wonderful membranes full with the smell of everything mixed together. Leading to more vomiting and the added pressure builds up in my gut and i now have other issues much more pressing we should say. So in between the vomit waves i rip down my britches and expel my body of all things good and evil at once and then worst of all i realize omg i left the door open and my wife's cat is giving me this look :bored:.
Moral of the story think before you bite animals.
My two year old was feeding her cheese and when she ran out the dog just kinda growled and bit her. First time she's ever bitten anyone, but it made me so mad the first thing i did was grab the dog and bite her back without thinking or anything :rockon:...when i let go my 2 year old is laughing and the dog and my wife both look at me like:dw::xpl:...then the taste and my brain finally caught up with a what is that taste in my mouth...well apparently my wife was on the way to giving her a bath when my 2 year old distracted her with cheese b/c she caught her rolling on a dead bird and a pile of poo...
At this point i try to play it cool and do the marine thing "huh didn't taste that bad" when in reality my brain is like "OMG OMG OMG i just ate crap and a rotting rat with wings. I hate you I hate you I hate you." So after my wife takes the dog upstairs saying " yeah you are definitely not getting any tonight with that mouth..." I begin to think with my other brain..."ha i'll show her who's got the testis in this house" :idea: so i calmly walk down stairs and proceed to eat a half a tube of tooth paste to attempt to get the taste out of my mouth...well that was the wrong answer...turns out that equals insta heartburn which i turn with another bright idea and pound a Dr. Pepper not thinking oh this will not only not help but you are now going to vomit. I can hear my brain saying "this is payback you chode"...then i get a heart burn induced vomit apparently food from the last 4 days had been waiting to escape.
So i now have a rotting rat with wings covered in poo along with the taste of dr pepper, toothpaste (cool mint), watermelon and veggies erupting inside my mouth with the pressure of a firehose. well apparently my nose is like a wastegate...and my body decided to vacate some extra pressure and volume...so now i get the nose and all her wonderful membranes full with the smell of everything mixed together. Leading to more vomiting and the added pressure builds up in my gut and i now have other issues much more pressing we should say. So in between the vomit waves i rip down my britches and expel my body of all things good and evil at once and then worst of all i realize omg i left the door open and my wife's cat is giving me this look :bored:.
Moral of the story think before you bite animals.
