Please I need advice

[Black96SVT]

I have been with the girl of my dreams and have actually gotten her an engagement ring (she knows bc she went with her friend to look at rings, her friend told me, etc) About me, I have had cancer starting treatment in december 06, month or 2 off in 07, then rediagnossed with cancer, but moved into another area, and now been off chemo for 4 months. Sounds good right?

No, those 4 months have been very long and strenuous on my mind, there have been spots that have shown up again in scans in a previous area and today I found out that the cancer is going crazy and is very aggressive. The treatments I have gone through have slowed it down some but they havent helped enough and its back to attacking an organ hard. They said I have another option left, but i have to qualify for it and it is said to be a long shot they will accept me to do it. If not, I can go back on chemo, but the reason I was off of it for 4 months bc I was going through such strong chemo that my body was juist starting to deteriorate and fall apart. My blood counts just werent coming back and they were scared of what could happen to my body. So I went on a clinical treatment (now stopped bc it wasnt doing anything)

Today I find out that I have months to live, I never thought this could be a reality, but it has happened. I am so distraught and just cant believe whats going on (drinking now )

I want to ask her to marry me, bc it isnt 100% chance that I have months to live but it's more yes then no. I feel selfish for still wanting to ask her to marry me and dont know what I should do. Her family is being very supportive, her mom and dad want to take me to the shooting range, her bro knows i always wanted to go sky diving and he said he wanted to go so we could go some time. My car has been off the road since november 07 because thats when i started treatment again and money ran out plus physical health was just gone so i could never finish it. My dad is going to try to help me finish the car off so that I can enjoy it with my final drives i guess one could say.

I have cried so much today I just dont know what else to do, but basically the question is am i correct in thinking its a bad idea and selfish to still want to marry this girl? even though she said she will stay by my side through this whole thing and that the day i may go she will be there holding my hand and told me to wait for her in the after life so we can continue what we have now. ( i have known this girl for 5 or 6 years and loved her the day i met her, but she never gave me the time of day to be more then friends, now I am finally with her and am awe struck at how amazing this all is)

 

[webleedorange61]

wow..... thats all i can say..

best of luck to you i really hope you have the strength to pull through.

 

[cobra_4]

Man that sucks bro. I'd marry her, be selfish, you deserve it.

 

[Satan's Snake]

just read your post with my wife and we both think you should ask her...sucks that this is happening to you but it seems like your friends and family are trying to cram as much happy memorable moments into your life...not just for your sake but for theirs...they all want to remember you if and when you do pass...and what's a better memory than what many describe as the happiest moment in their life...sounds like she loves you a lot and if she's willing to be there by you til the end why not commit to it...I think you're less selfish than you think because you took the time to bare all and come to svtp and ask for advice

 

[cj3113]

Definitely ask. Hopefully things will work out for the best, and in 40 years you'll be grateful that you did.

 

[scancion]

Marriage is for for better or worse man.... If you only have months to live then you need to focus on doing things thats you want... You will be with this girl regardless right??? So IMO I think you should get married and have a wife for the time being. Maybe even try having a baby to carry on the family name. Im really truely sorry.

 

[meaty mac]

If you both love each other, then do whatever makes you two happy. as long as you two are together, that's all that really matters.
I wish you all the best, my brother.

 

[hoamskilet]

I'd say at this point do whatever you want. If she loves you and will be with you till the end, there's no reason she wouldn't marry you. Sorry to hear of your situation. You're in my prayers

 

[Snowboarda42]

Yeah, I'd do it. Think of yourself for once and marry the girl of your dreams and die even happier.

Find Jesus.

 

[BlckBullitt01]

I can't comment on the marriage, but I will say the rate at which medical technology is advancing is incredible. As you mentioned in your post, the doctor's told you there is still a treatment option available. Don't rule out anything just yet, it could be more than a coincidence your doctor's are telling you about these other treatments.

 

[James Snover]

Roll the dice and pop the question. You said she knows the situation, and if she says yes, put a ring on her finger.

No one knows how long they have. You could be in perfect health, get married, and get hit by a truck the next day. "Tomorrow is not promised to us."

There are several new treatments out for otherwise inoperable cancers, with the proton beam treatments showing a lot of success. Ask your doctors about it.

Good luck.

Jim Snover

 

[tommyhil4_6]

Absolutely ask her....

 

[T-Bolt]

Yes, without question. Let her make you the happiest man in the world in your darkest hour.

 

[HYBRED]

Ask her.

 

[fa110ut]

Wow. I remember reading about your ordeal a while ago, not too long after I had brain surgery to remove a tumor. Sorry to hear it came back. Not sure I'd be able to handle that kind of news if it happened to me.

Like somebody else said, do it. You deserve to be selfish at this point.

Stay strong and fight that shit to the very end.

 

[jimmy77]

Very sorry to hear about you're situation. Go ahead and ask her....you'd be surprised what love can do! Don't give up dude, not ever. If God says you're hanging around a while then you'll be hanging around despite what doctor's think. The one think that you need to do ASAP is start juicing and eating lots of veggies and drinking water.....only good stuff in the body from here on out. Also, the number 1 disease fighter in the world is VITAMIN D! Make sure you pick some up....ask the folks there how much... I take 1000 iu a day.....you'll probably take that much twice a day. I prefer CARLSON brand vitamins cause they don't synthesize theirs. Here's a list of good foods for ya:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ate-are-the-key-to-long-life.html?mobile=true

I'd probably replace the coffee with GREEN TEA. The "good" chocolate is the "DARK" chocolate. Sometimes eating healthy can be good .

I'll be praying for you...hang in there...get a bible and read it.

Also, have the health food store person give you a good "green drink" powder.

 

[fxystangchic]

talk to her about it. this is coming from a girls point of view here. explain EXACTLY how you feel about everything thats going on. be as honest and direct as you can be, no matter how much it hurts. see how things go after that. if the reaction is good and shes very supportive, then ask her. you've got nothing to lose. if the cancer continues to get worse, you're probably not going to have this oppurtunity again. shes not going to abandon you if she doesnt wanna get married; shes probably just protecting her heart and will give you every ounce of support she can give. just be very true and open with her and if its meant to be, then it will happen. if not then you have one hell of a support system, best friend, and source of hope and love.

I know its difficult but try to be as positive as you can. have faith and know that others are fighting with you. your friends, family and even potential wife are all pulling for you so even if the marriage doesnt happen, you will have no regrets.

best of luck and please keep us posted on your progress!

 

[canibus]

dude it's heart breaking to hear that happening to you. life has a tendency to challenge us on a minute to minute basis. i really hope you get better. don't give up the fight!


ask her!

 

[svt_nick69]

wheat grass ftw.

your in my prayers bro! :rockon:

 

[Jpalm]

Ask her. She will be there for you until the end, and you will be so happy you did.
My wife has been there with me for the year I was in a coma after my car accident and through everything over the 6 years we have been together. I am sure your girl will be there for you through everything too.

You deserve this.