You can’t sneeze and keep your eyes open
I have tried that before just for the sake of saying "yeah you can."
I highly advise NOT doing it.
Trying to remember one along those lines, is it sneezes or jizz that comes out at over 200mph?
Both if done simultaneously. Haven't tried it though, probably wont. The sneeze with the eyes open thing hurt bad enough.
Someone is trying to hard.
Nah, trying too hard would be if I were to publish my findings on a new workplace metric - "SPEPD," which is "****s per employee per day." You see, I found that there was a staggering amount of time wasted by employees in the bathroom. After about a week of collecting data and interpolating those results on a time/frequency graph, we concluded that the SPEPD was 1.7 with an error factor of 25%. Anything over 1.0 is alarming, since it means that either people were spending a LONG time in there, or people were running in there multiple times per day. So using simple math, we determined that if every employee were to spend 1 minute less in the bathroom per day, the business would save $40k annually. Interesting note: The highest frequency times were 10 minutes after clock-in time and immediately after lunch. As a test, I put up "out of order" signs in two stalls and there was seriously a line in the bathroom.
I put the whole study together in an Excel spreadsheet with graphs and such and left it anonymously in the continuous improvement folder on the company network.
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