Should a spouse be named in parent’s Will?

[COOL COBRA]

No spouses should not be listed.

Or,
No. Spouses should not be listed.
Which are you saying for clarification.

 

[COOL COBRA]

dp because site is jacked TFU!

 

[HillbillyHotRod]

Wills can be contested. Mom wasn’t in her right mind, was forced ro do it, etc, etc. Get a living trust and be done wif it.

 

[MG0h3]

No way I’d ask or expect my Dad to name a spouse.

like hard go **** yourself.

In fact, if I see a will from my Dad where he leaves everything to some charity or whatever, all good. His money. His choice.

Suppose you could always make a will saying you wish for any funds set for you to go to your spouse. That’s be a hard sell considering there are no kids.


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[Tractorman]

Money goes to blood imo. If you die before dad it goes to your children

 

[Blk04L]

I mean, if you had kids and the unforeseen happened to you I could get your wife being on the will to (hopefully) support your kids.

But in this case, I don't see why

 

[black4vcobra]

Money goes to blood imo. If you die before dad it goes to your children

This is always my understanding too.

Unfortunately, I'm sure it's led to many bad situations where minor children get inheritance because their mom/dad died before grandma/grandpa and then the remaining parent blows it all.

Of course this is what trusts are for but there are legal paths to claim the funds early and/or for dubious reasons.

 

[jaxbusa]

Money goes to blood imo. If you die before dad it goes to your children

This has always been my mindset.


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[MDShelby]

Death brings out the worst in people in 99.9% of time. In 34 years, I saw things that I thought I would never see. Grandfather still laying dead on the couch, kids and grandkids out on the porch arguing about who is taking the TV home tonight. Daughter asking for the deceased's possessions, proceeds to remove all the cash out of the wallet, drops the wallet and walks out the door before the funeral home gets there. And so many more.

 

[Klaus]

Also think about the possibility of me dying before my mother, which is what sparked a conversation

I suppose your mother can do whatever she wants. If the intent is to divide her assets equally among her direct descendents I think it is best to exclude spouses.

If you die before your wife, it will gi to your estate and be distributed according to your will.

I just went through three of these and am an expert if you have any questions.

pro tip: set up her accounts with named beneficiaries rather than estate beneficiaries. This will help you avoid probate. Also establish POA on any and all accounts in advance.

 

[Dirks9901]

Death brings out the worst in people in 99.9% of time. In 34 years, I saw things that I thought I would never see. Grandfather still laying dead on the couch, kids and grandkids out on the porch arguing about who is taking the TV home tonight. Daughter asking for the deceased's possessions, proceeds to remove all the cash out of the wallet, drops the wallet and walks out the door before the funeral home gets there. And so many more.

When my grandmother passed, there was definitely some bullshit happening but nothing like that. Holy shit.


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[SID297]

As an estate planning attorney I can give you the "attorney answer" ----- it depends.

The estate plan is your Mother's and her assets.

So it depends upon who SHE wants to include as a beneficiary in her plan.

The plan you laid out - 50/50 between her children and with no grandchildren then 100% to the survivor of the 2 of you - is a very common and traditional planning style. Nothing at all unusual about it.

What does it provide though for the next "what if" question that the attorney should ask: what if both you and your sibling predecease? Where do the assets go then?

An estate planning attorney should always be thinking of the "what if" questions and getting the client's wishes down for possible scenarios.

As an attorney who recommends out a lot of estate planning work, I concur.

Just that I thought if you had a will, that it must be abided by. NOPE! Nearly everything in my dads will didnt go like he had wished. The personal property in his home that was supposed to go to my sister and I, actually stayed with my step sister who has not been a part of the family for years. She lived in his home to help take care of him as he got older. My sister and I were not allowed to collect one single item from my dads place. Regardless of the will saying different. My dads car who he willed to my son, my step sister got to keep because she refused to allow anyone to come and get it. And the list goes on and on and on....the court told us to hire an attorney. Any idea what a retainer is to even begin tp have the will enforced? Around $10K. We decided to just let everything go. In a huge twist of fates, my step sis died last year, 5 years after my dad did. She had thrown out everything into a dumpster shortly after he died.
police would not get involved because it was a civil matter. Even though she was stealing.

It would take a few hours to go through my dads will and explain how nothing mattered.

A will is a lot like a contract, it only means something if you're willing to enforce it.

 

[Bullitt1448]

Our lawyer told us that when it comes to settling a family estate there is always one person that is not happy about the outcome and often it is the person that you would least suspect would kick up a fuss.

 

[Lambeau]

I'll just say this:
I've told my two kids if either of them fight over what they get which is 50/50, I swear to God that I'll come back and haunt them.

 

[ZYBORG]

Why is this even a thread?

With all due respect, grab your shriveled balls and tell your wife to calm her tits.

In what dimension is she living in, that she thinks she gets to be entitled to someone else’s property, as they depart from this world?

Crazy. Honestly.

 

[Black Gold 380R]

Death brings out the worst in people in 99.9% of time. In 34 years, I saw things that I thought I would never see. Grandfather still laying dead on the couch, kids and grandkids out on the porch arguing about who is taking the TV home tonight. Daughter asking for the deceased's possessions, proceeds to remove all the cash out of the wallet, drops the wallet and walks out the door before the funeral home gets there. And so many more.

When I was younger my Dad always taught me that family or friends and money do NOT mix. I have never personally experienced it, but have seen it plenty of times.

Greed is a powerful deadly sin and a reason it's #2 on the list of 7.

First off I agree on spouses being left off. I have no issue with that at all. Now if you have kids with said spouse it can become tricky. However, in today's society where you have kids with spouse A and only "step" kids with spouse B then my point is spouse A should get some help due to the bloodline, but spouse B shouldn't get anything as it's someone else's bloodline.

Second, my personal belief is my parents amassed their wealth on their own and through their hard work and sacrifices. So, whatever they want to do with their money when they die is "their" choice. I have my own wealth and don't need anything. So, if my parents choose to leave me anything it's just a blessing.

Third, my parents have already announced their wishes to me and my brother (it's only us 2 siblings). I'm the oldest so my parents have designated me as the executor. My parents have told me and my brother exactly what they want to go to each grandchild (they have 4). My parents have expressly told me and my brother that if anything comes up that wasn't discussed my brother and I are to discuss it, but in the end the final decision is mine since I'm the oldest/executor.

I know this isn't always the case and people die unexpectedly or pass without a will. But, my take is blood takes precedence and of the blood it should be split equally regardless of age or financial disposition.

I know, easier said than done. Why? Because in general people suck and are greedy bastards......

 

[Tractorman]

Also, need pics of wife to help decide.

 

[HillbillyHotRod]

Death brings out the worst in people in 99.9% of time. In 34 years, I saw things that I thought I would never see. Grandfather still laying dead on the couch, kids and grandkids out on the porch arguing about who is taking the TV home tonight. Daughter asking for the deceased's possessions, proceeds to remove all the cash out of the wallet, drops the wallet and walks out the door before the funeral home gets there. And so many more.

Bingo. Mom collected music box, globes anything musical. Well when mom died I have a SIL who even at the wake was saying I need those music boxes to sell on ebay. Say what?? Then gall of some people. She did not get them in the end but to even bring it up. Sheesh.

 

[mysticsvt]

Na. My wife is set to inherit a good bit and my dad is dead and mom is probably zero in her account. Now her dad and I are pretty tight and I wouldn't be suprized if he left me his guns and tools and what not. Money is for her and her brother and I won't come in the way of that. I got my own money. I appreciate what he is giving her because eventually I'll pass and it help take care of her.

 

[Bdubbs]

I say no to the op's question. It just confuses things. My father in-law had his 4 kids (my wife is the youngest) listed in his will. And he had farm land. I've been in my father in-law life for over 22 years and would have NEVER expected to be in the will. And we got along great.

The wife and I finally decided to do our Will less than two years ago. Our lawyer said that we have to much stuff and doing a Trust is advised. So that's the route we went.

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