well gents....my wife and I are finally making the decision....and truthfully i am scared shitless. She is going off birth control, and whatever happens will happen. I have known my wife for 14 years. We have been married for almost 5. I love her to ****ing death and we make a great team. I am 30 years old.......and I need to grow up....LOL. But honestly I'm ready for the next step in life and we have made the decision. I have my finances sorted, I'm in a great home, and frankly I don't want to be too old when I have my first kid. I know you can never be "prepared" for a kid but I am still nervous. I'm not really sure what I am asking from you guys. I guess maybe some advise. And maybe a blessing LOL. It's just a crazy to think about children and being a parent. Being a good role model for another human being.....When all this time, I've only taken care of myself, and thought only of my life. Any advise would be appreciated. Thanks =)
when did you guys decide you wanted kids?
- Thread starter nxhappy
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I wanted kids around 30 as well, but the wife and I weren't on the same page 4 years ago. She's 4 years younger than me and wasn't ready to be a mom at 26.. But alas, 05/05/16 we were blessed with a 7lb 13oz baby girl.
I didn't want kids in my 20s, but the moment I hit 30, something clicked and told me "HAVE BABIES." We planned, prepared, and made the decision. Our finances are pretty good so my wife is a stay-at-home mom now. She definitely misses work. Child care here in California can range from 1000 to 1700 bucks a month. We're planning #2 and want to ideally get pregnant in November/December for a late Summer, early Fall baby.
Kids aren't for everyone. There are shitty parents and overall horrible circumstances kids have no business being involved with. Just be sure it's something you want. It's a lifetime commitment (to me)
With that said, I love being a dad. It's a test of patience, a sense of humility, and the "I seriously have no idea what I'm doing, but here goes nothing." We recently moved back to our home town to have a support system in place. Nothing better taking those few hours to go see a movie or have a drink at the local brewery while the grandparents take care of our daughter.
Just my 2 cents. I have no doubts you'll make great parents. It's really whatever you put into it is what you'll get out.
I didn't want kids in my 20s, but the moment I hit 30, something clicked and told me "HAVE BABIES." We planned, prepared, and made the decision. Our finances are pretty good so my wife is a stay-at-home mom now. She definitely misses work. Child care here in California can range from 1000 to 1700 bucks a month. We're planning #2 and want to ideally get pregnant in November/December for a late Summer, early Fall baby.
Kids aren't for everyone. There are shitty parents and overall horrible circumstances kids have no business being involved with. Just be sure it's something you want. It's a lifetime commitment (to me)
With that said, I love being a dad. It's a test of patience, a sense of humility, and the "I seriously have no idea what I'm doing, but here goes nothing." We recently moved back to our home town to have a support system in place. Nothing better taking those few hours to go see a movie or have a drink at the local brewery while the grandparents take care of our daughter.
Just my 2 cents. I have no doubts you'll make great parents. It's really whatever you put into it is what you'll get out.
When the state sent me a letter , yeah... That's how I learned I had a child.
It was awful but I got me a daddy's girl and her mother can't stand it.
It was awful but I got me a daddy's girl and her mother can't stand it.
Had mine at 25 a bit earlier than I would have like but thus is life. Worry not about growing up, if you are a person with their sh** together she or he will force you to grow up once you realize everything you do has an impact on them. What ever people tell you about kids please believe it me its worst than you can imagine, but looking at them when they are happy with a big smile on their face and not a single care in this world makes all emotions you will experience worth it. The lack of sleep in the beginning is freaking tough though. Good luck on your journey man
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For what it's worth I'll give my two cents.
My wife and I knew we would want children, just didnt know when the right time was. We have been together 8 yrs and married just about 4. Marriage IMO changed nothing. Others opinions may vary but that's mine. A child changed everything. I was scared shitless too man. The whole pregnancy I was just terrified of something happening to my wife or our unborn. The day finally came, she pushed once and out it came a beautiful baby girl. I cried like a birch but I don't care. It was one of the most surreal and happiest moments in my life as I sat there and held my daughter for the first time. Since then EVERYTHING changed. Good or bad, that depends on you guys. Good on you for straightening your finances out. I was shit with my money years back and regret it. Oh well. Child care is not cheap and many I talk to in our neighborhood or just around say oh have your parents or in-laws watch. Parents are old and not in physical shape to watch infants and in-laws are dead so that would be a trick. You will encounter times in the first few months where you want to explode out of frustration perhaps. They key with me and my wife was when one saw the other was bugging out, call the bullpen, go for a 2 minute cool down and other parent step in. We are always smiling around our daughter and try to be in our best moods. She doesn't care if I had a shit day at work or feel like shit. She expects 100% from me and its up to me to give it to her.
As for the ancillary stuff? Lack of sleep was interesting but its not the worst. I get up at 345am religiously though now just to work out. It would never happen after work as I want to be home with my family. Daughter is asleep at 645 and I'm dozing by 845. 1.5yrs in and sleep isnt an issue for anyone in my house. Now when we have a second, well, ****.
Some of that advice might be trash but its all just my opinion. I typed only mobile so forgive the errors. Good luck man.
Edit. Ton of errors after rereading whoops
-J
My wife and I knew we would want children, just didnt know when the right time was. We have been together 8 yrs and married just about 4. Marriage IMO changed nothing. Others opinions may vary but that's mine. A child changed everything. I was scared shitless too man. The whole pregnancy I was just terrified of something happening to my wife or our unborn. The day finally came, she pushed once and out it came a beautiful baby girl. I cried like a birch but I don't care. It was one of the most surreal and happiest moments in my life as I sat there and held my daughter for the first time. Since then EVERYTHING changed. Good or bad, that depends on you guys. Good on you for straightening your finances out. I was shit with my money years back and regret it. Oh well. Child care is not cheap and many I talk to in our neighborhood or just around say oh have your parents or in-laws watch. Parents are old and not in physical shape to watch infants and in-laws are dead so that would be a trick. You will encounter times in the first few months where you want to explode out of frustration perhaps. They key with me and my wife was when one saw the other was bugging out, call the bullpen, go for a 2 minute cool down and other parent step in. We are always smiling around our daughter and try to be in our best moods. She doesn't care if I had a shit day at work or feel like shit. She expects 100% from me and its up to me to give it to her.
As for the ancillary stuff? Lack of sleep was interesting but its not the worst. I get up at 345am religiously though now just to work out. It would never happen after work as I want to be home with my family. Daughter is asleep at 645 and I'm dozing by 845. 1.5yrs in and sleep isnt an issue for anyone in my house. Now when we have a second, well, ****.
Some of that advice might be trash but its all just my opinion. I typed only mobile so forgive the errors. Good luck man.
Edit. Ton of errors after rereading whoops
-J
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I kind of got talked into it, we have 2 now. It's a trip but all worth it. You'll never feel ready so don't worry about that.
Where I'm at, but expecting the first one in October.
The anxiety has gone down and now I just want to spend time with the little dude. Wife went through a rough morning sickness phase so hopefully that calms her down on #2 though lol.
So, I had bought another motorcycle, which ar that time brought my motorcycle ownership to two. We had just rode out to South Dakota from Indiana, and a month later..... I find out we are going to have a child. I was scared to death. I didn't think I wanted kids after it being so long. I was 31 when we had our first.
It's been great thou. My kid us fun, and is a handful. But, let's be honest, you're never really ready to have kids. They change your life forever, for the good. The photo below is a little old, but my kid loves her cars.
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It's been great thou. My kid us fun, and is a handful. But, let's be honest, you're never really ready to have kids. They change your life forever, for the good. The photo below is a little old, but my kid loves her cars.
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When I realized that the idiocracy is upon us: the less than intelligent are reproducing rapidly while the intelligent ones that should be reproducing are having one or two kids, MAYBE.
Plus after seeing the lack of athleticism from my brother in law, I feel that it is my duty to carry on my family name by having an athletic kid hahaha
besides, having kids is the only way to live forever
Plus after seeing the lack of athleticism from my brother in law, I feel that it is my duty to carry on my family name by having an athletic kid hahaha
besides, having kids is the only way to live forever
Kinda just happened. Lol
When did I decide I wanted a child? I guess it was the moment I decided not to use any preventative method. No biggie just messing around, she won't get pregnant. Yeah well she did and it only took one time. The moment she told me she was pregnant, I was like cool. I knew I was ready. We now have two beautiful children. And it has been the best decision ever. Love my kids! Life before seems so much less fulfilling than now. Are they a Lot of work? Yes, but all worth it!
For me?
After we lost an oops baby.
For her?
Always.
Just be aware, if things go south with pregnancy or you lose it, that can be a relationship killer or just generally extremely damaging. Ask me how I know...
After we lost an oops baby.
For her?
Always.
Just be aware, if things go south with pregnancy or you lose it, that can be a relationship killer or just generally extremely damaging. Ask me how I know...
I was 37 when my wife and I had our only child. I never wanted kids, didn't want to bring one up in this world but as I grew older I chilled quite a bit and changed my mind. Best decision I've ever had, nothing has helped me be happier than my son. Good luck, it'll be a trip but well worth it.
After becoming financially stable.
I kind of always wanted one. It knew from the start that my wife did not. I felt my wife was worth giving that up. Fast forward a few years and my wife changed her mind. We planned things out and worked on some stuff. We are now in the last few weeks of waiting for our daughter's arrival.
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Wish you all the best man! I hope she arrives happy and healthy and doesn't make her mother suffer for too long
After reading these comments, it makes me feel better about one day raising a child. Only 23 now but I always go back and forth wondering if raising a child is worth it in this crazy world.
Thank you! We have been very blessed so far. My wife really has not had much sickness, all her measurable have been spot on. We have just been very fortunate; which has me a little nervous now.
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I commend those of you with kids. I have checked off most of the boxes listed here: good education, stable/good marriage, good home, getting older, etc... Perhaps it will hit me one day, but as of right now kids are not something I want in my life. My wife and I are so selfish with our time/hobbies and "irresponsible" it is not even funny.
I know I will never understand, since I don't have kids, but it always baffles me when they say their life "never had a purpose/fulfillment" until they had kids. Makes me wonder if their life was really boring and kids gave them a 'better' reason to live, or if they are so miserable, now with kids, they are over projecting to those of us on the outside.
I'm joking. I do see my friends with their children and I can obviously see the absolute joy it brings to them as a family--I'm a bit jealous sometimes that I don't feel the same need in my life.
Enough of my rant. OP, I assume knowing you're ready for kids is just like marriage: you know when it is right for you.
I know I will never understand, since I don't have kids, but it always baffles me when they say their life "never had a purpose/fulfillment" until they had kids. Makes me wonder if their life was really boring and kids gave them a 'better' reason to live, or if they are so miserable, now with kids, they are over projecting to those of us on the outside.
I'm joking. I do see my friends with their children and I can obviously see the absolute joy it brings to them as a family--I'm a bit jealous sometimes that I don't feel the same need in my life.Enough of my rant. OP, I assume knowing you're ready for kids is just like marriage: you know when it is right for you.
I commend those of you with kids. I have checked off most of the boxes listed here: good education, stable/good marriage, good home, getting older, etc... Perhaps it will hit me one day, but as of right now kids are not something I want in my life. My wife and I are so selfish with our time/hobbies and "irresponsible" it is not even funny.
I know I will never understand, since I don't have kids, but it always baffles me when they say their life "never had a purpose/fulfillment" until they had kids. Makes me wonder if their life was really boring and kids gave them a 'better' reason to live, or if they are so miserable, now with kids, they are over projecting to those of us on the outside.
Enough of my rant. OP, I assume knowing you're ready for kids is just like marriage: you know when it is right for you.
I felt the same way. When you find out your lady is pregnant and you see how she glows and how beautiful she is, it will change your heart instantly. If you really love that woman, you'll know at that moment.
Kids themselves are rewarding as they are so innocent and need you so badly. You're their rock and the entire world for them. You become selfless and your entire mindset is built on giving them a better life. It's a rewarding experience. My life is certainly not boring and the average person doesn't realize what's missing when you have a chance to have a child and lose it. That's when you see how big the void is.
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