Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to......

[M240Bravo]

So first off this ain't me hating on anyone.

I feel once I hit 30 all my friends changed so much. Getting married and letting someone run their life, having kids, remodeling their house that never ends, super busy work schedule.


95% of my old car friends don't do car stuff anymore, and the ones that do its just a "hey lets go to cars and coffee, but I got to be home by 1030am to do this family/house/wife thing." Or "lets go to the track on friday night at 7pm and I need to be home by 930pm because my wife said so."

I only have lunch with my buddies when they can take long lunches while at work because they never have free time after.

Or trying to go see a movie or beer. I mean, the new predator movie that came out, I asked a few buddies if they wanted to go see the movie(like texting on a monday tuesday for a friday movie) and they say "I need like 2 week heads up so they can make plans."


Does it feel like this to anyone else or is it just me?

 

[buffalosoldier]

Its just you married guys.

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[HudsonFalcon]

My wife can't wait to get rid of me.

 

[03Sssnake]

 

[buffalosoldier]

It takes awhile but one day they wont give a crap what you do. As a general rule I never bothered to ask. Just brought up that way.

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[03Sssnake]

My wife can't wait to get rid of me.

Mine is the same way... we are way past that wanting to constantly do shit together phase of our marriage.

 

[Screw-Rice]

Are you sure your friends like you?

Friends and I are all 30+, sometimes need to plan but that might be a few days if so.

 

[Coiled03]

It probably feels like that to a lot of people. It's called life. It kinda gets in the way of things, sometimes.

I have just a handful of people I'd consider REAL friends, most of whom I've known since high school or earlier. We can not talk for an entire year, pick up the phone, and start talking like we were just together the day before. The rest of the people in my life are acquaintances at best. I bring this up because it's important to identify who you really care to do things with, and who you don't. That way, you can let it roll off your back if it's someone in the second group.

 

[Weather Man]

It takes awhile but one day they wont give a crap what you do.

If you actually like being married to the one your with, that is a day to be feared.

One thing I notice is that parents with kids seem to scheduled with shit out the ying yang.

 

[Dirks9901]

I know what you mean. About half my buddies are in that situation. Having kids eats any spare time they have. Everyone has significant others but we make the time. What we do is just plan stuff a month in advance. Just part of getting older


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[Orange95]

That's just part of it, plain and simple. We usually plan stuff two weeks out just to be on the safe side. I'm the one who usually catches a lot of shit because I work out of state more often than not. Perks of being single with no chirren I guess, or that's what all my married friends tell me at least.

 

[CompOrange04GT]

Im in my 30s with no kids.. and trying to " schedule" time with people is a pain

 

[gimmie11s]

I don't remember going to movies with other guys at 30. 16-23 or so? Sure.

Maybe it's just me.

Truth is, you make time for the things you want to do. If your buds wanted to go racing Friday night, they would. Sounds like they don't, or would rather do something else.

Hobbies change as you mature and get older. True car guys... TRUE car guys will always be just that. There just are not as many of us still around in our 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond as there were when we were teenagers.

I bought a brand new 2014 Mustang, added a blower, then turbos, then sold it and bought a GT500 and rinse repeat. All while having kids and working. Because this hobby is what I want to do so i'll make time for it and keep money on the side for it.

 

[Double"O"]

My stupid job gets in my way more than my wife

 

[Machdup1]

Everybody has a schedule. As you get older, you just get smarter about letting people interrupt it.

When you are younger, you go with the flow; however, normally the flow doesn’t take you where you need to be.

 

[CV355]

I'm sure it's worse with married couples, but I am noticing this as a trend for everyone. Honestly, I blame a lot of it on technology. Hear me out on this, I know it looks like a rant in-bound...

Think about it this way- back when "palm pilots" came out, did you see anyone honestly improve the efficiency of their life with one? No, they usually just allowed for more interruptions and subconscious tasks. Then tablets and cell phone started taking over. People cannot do one task at a time anymore, so their overall efficiency goes to crap. People are overbooked, over-committed, etc. So, what used to take 8 hours now takes 10, 11, 12 hours. Longer work days = less at home during the week. That pushes everything to the weekend, or you sacrifice sleep.

Before you know it, everyone is running around with no time, no direction, and no energy.

Growing up, weekends were simple. You wake up, my folks were making breakfast, take the trash to the town dump, do some yardwork, and the rest of the weekend was easy living. I know I was young but I've always been painfully observant. I don't recall anywhere NEAR the stress levels of modern society.

I used to try hanging out with my sister when I could. I'd invite her over to my house, the three of us would have dinner, or go grab some food. We'd all catch up. Now, if I don't get it on her schedule 2 weeks in advance, good luck. I haven't seen her in a month. There are a few co-workers that used to join me for "wing night" every once in a while. That hasn't happened in two years, despite effort to make it happen.

It's crazy. This planet needs a reset. Maybe not a meteor (I mean hell, I'd take it), but a nice big fat EMP or solar flare to stun technology. Let everyone wake up and go "whoa..."

 

[nickf2005]

32. Married 8 years. 3 year old son.

Kid, family, home ownership, and work take up 99% of my time. Luckily, we have 2 couples that we're close friends with that live next door and down the street. We usually do outdoor chores together and have dinner once or twice a weekend. Our kids will be 2-4 years apart, so we hope once they get older, they'll play well together.

My old High School buddies live an hour away, with their own families, and it's difficult dedicating the time to get together. Like somebody said before, I could pick up the phone after months gone by and pick up where we left off. I'd still give my shirt off my back to them, but we just can't run around like we used to. Things change.

It's life man. Friends become less priority as time fills with other things. We are usually booked and scheduled 2 weeks out. We can't handle "pop up" events very well. However, I wouldn't take back the time I'm spending with my boy. Nothing like climbing on the tractor or mower with a beer and getting some work done with him in my lap.

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[Stanley]

Me and a couple of my friends get lunch at least once a month. We all have kids and two of us are married one divorced. During the week someone in my house has an activity every day and kids sports on the weekends during football and club volleyball season.

After a stretch of not seeing each other for a while we decided to start doing lunch on Sunday's just the guys. It's a nice time to just hang out and not worry about the rest of what's going on.

 

[afcobra01]

Peoples priorities change as there life changes and if you are not one of those priorities, you will be shut out. Does not mean that they do not want to be your friend in some manner, just that there life has changed enough that they have new responsibilities to look after.

Or since you are single, they are afraid there wife will want you instead of them...

 

[08mojo]

Truth is, you make time for the things you want to do. If your buds wanted to go racing Friday night, they would. Sounds like they don't, or would rather do something else.

^This. People make time for things they want to do. If it's not high on the priority list, it's not going to happen. Last year, a group of us were training for a mountain bike ride. December through May, we rode every weekend and a few times during the week. Work schedules didn't change, work positions didn't change, families didn't change, kids activities didn't change, etc... This year, no one 'has time.' They're just too busy to ride.

So, you find new friends in the hobby that's still important to you and move on. Always be there for your friends, but don't depend on them to be your entertainment.