75% Of Parents Helping Their Adult Children Pay Bills

[Zemedici]

I think a big problem is people with the “college or nothing” mentality. After graduating and being 100k in debt because people can’t find jobs with their art degree. I see it with people I went to school with. I’m 23 and live at home purely for that fact that I will never rent anything because it’s a colossal waste of money. So in the next year or 2 I should be in my own house.

I never understood this concept. There are times in life when we spend money we will NEVER see a return on : buying a new car, renting, buying new clothes, new cell phone purchase, etc. They are cost of living expenses, and they teach you valuable life lessons. You’re not ‘throwing money away’ renting, you’re learning how to stand on your own two feet. Saying you understand money while you live at home is a blatant contradiction. It’s easy to understand finances when you have 50% or less of any other persons bills....

Move out - it will do you good.

 

[Never_Enough]

Dated a chick in 2016 that was leeching off mom & dad. They bought her a house, pay her bills, paid for her bs art degree from college that she did nothing with, etc. She had no job then got a job at Macy's & still didn't support herself. She's back in school for something else on her parent's dime & is now a bank teller making $15 an hr or less...still living on mom & dad's dime. She is 28. SMH...

Oh & she "doesn't know" what she wants. Seriously? Grow up.

 

[Never_Enough]

Yes she is >25. If it weren't for the fact that she has 2 kids we would have told her "sucks to be you" but my wife said we can't let her bad choices go against the grandkids. But finally getting her off our stuff. Next month the car gets transferred to her and she goes off my insurance and will have to get her own. She will have had insurance long enough that she can get car insurance. Already had her get a new lease in her name when it came up for renewal.

You can't choose your parents. Hardship will make those kids better adults.

 

[Mpoitrast87]

I never understood this concept. There are times in life when we spend money we will NEVER see a return on : buying a new car, renting, buying new clothes, new cell phone purchase, etc. They are cost of living expenses, and they teach you valuable life lessons. You’re not ‘throwing money away’ renting, you’re learning how to stand on your own two feet. Saying you understand money while you live at home is a blatant contradiction. It’s easy to understand finances when you have 50% or less of any other persons bills....

Move out - it will do you good.

I understand that. And cellphones, clothes and other things like that are small expenses. $1500-$1800 a month is not a small expense. After 5 years of renting what do I have to show for it? Nothing. While in a house I can sell and make all my money back and even make a profit.

And I can’t afford to move out. All of my money would go to bills. Would have 0 money for savings.

 

[08mojo]

I only see it beneficial if you’re an older person who doesn’t want to maintain a house or property. If you are young and plan on having a family then it makes absolutely no sense to put money into something that you will never see a return on unlike a house.

Ahh...so naive. Just because you live at home free of rent, does not mean it is free. Your parents are paying for that home in some fashion: taxes, maintenance, repairs, utilities...and that is if they own it outright! If not, they are still paying a mortgage, which has interest (the absolute biggest culprit of money you will never see again).

So, for starters, having a roof over your head is not free. There is a base cost of living, and shelter is a necessity--so don't bash those that decided to be independent and rent.

Save every penny you can while living at home! Mortgages are not cheap. I bought a $200k home. My mortgage is roughly $1,500 on a 30 year loan (and I bought when interest rates were nearly at the bottom). If you do the math, that's $540k for a $200k loan (assuming no additional principal payments are made)!!! Now the other part of what I'm paying in the mortgage is insurance, city taxes and county taxes (not cheap either at nearly $5k a year).

Unless you are able to pay for your home outright or take a really small mortgage, you may not be as money savvy as you once thought.

 

[jenkins_1120]

I understand that. And cellphones, clothes and other things like that are small expenses. $1500-$1800 a month is not a small expense. After 5 years of renting what do I have to show for it? Nothing. While in a house I can sell and make all my money back and even make a profit.

home ownership isn't for everyone. If someone is struggling to make a rent payment what are they going to do when they have a major expense when being a homeowner? roof, hvac, anything.

 

[08mojo]

I understand that. And cellphones, clothes and other things like that are small expenses. $1500-$1800 a month is not a small expense. After 5 years of renting what do I have to show for it? Nothing. While in a house I can sell and make all my money back and even make a profit.

And I can’t afford to move out. All of my money would go to bills. Would have 0 money for savings.

well...see my post above...

 

[Zemedici]

I understand that. And cellphones, clothes and other things like that are small expenses. $1500-$1800 a month is not a small expense. After 5 years of renting what do I have to show for it? Nothing. While in a house I can sell and make all my money back and even make a profit.

And I can’t afford to move out. All of my money would go to bills. Would have 0 money for savings.

There are plenty of places you can rent that are not $1500-1800 a month, there may lie the problem. When people are just starting out, you want CHEAP, I've had buddies that lived in $600/mo apartments. Sure its not Luxury, but it gets you by, and gets your feet wet with real life bills.

And you just said it, you cannot afford to move out. So say that, not the whole 'renting is stupid' thing.....renting is far from stupid, sure you dont have anything physical to show for it when you move out, but you had a roof over your head for x amount of time, and it taught you real life finances. Its not a tangible thing, but valuable nonetheless.

Big picture, brotha.

 

[IronSnake]

28 here.

At 17 my mother said "I canceled your phone line now that you have a job. Let me know when you get your own plan & if your number changed"
At 18 my dad said "You should probably get car insurance before they suspend your license. Oh, and you aren't on my health insurance anymore."
At 20 my parents said "Go to school or get out, your choice"

I went to college, graduated in 2 1/2 years with not a crazy amount of student loan debt, and was done. Had my own place shortly after, all my own bills, and stayed out of the house. Now I own a house, getting married, and haven't been on my parents dime in 5 or 6 years. It's necessary for parents to help spring board their kids as far as they can, but coddling them is hardly helping. I'm happy I got told those things. I figured out real fast how to pay bills and work towards my own goals.

 

[Revvv]

I don't have a great relationship with my parents. I wish I could say differently.

When I turned 18 my dad told me I could pay rent or move out. I was still in high school. He told me I was considered an adult and needed to carry my own weight (yet at this point in my dad's life he needs the help). I have never thrown that in his face.

Sometimes I see what happened as a blessing and a curse. I did move out of my parent's home at 18. I moved in and had a good friend as a roommate. It was a struggle, but life today is a struggle. I simply got a jump on reality.

I do not agree with what my parents did. I will not treat my children in that manner. I am teaching my children about finances, investing, retirement, etc. Both of my kids are smarter than I have ever been.

I am encouraging my kids to focus on school, not after school jobs. Their job is school, and I expect them to treat it as such. I refuse to allow them to do less than their best.

They both want a job. Both have said multiple times that they don't want to rely on their mom and I. As much as I understand the drive for independence, I tell them to focus on enjoying high school, and then their first year of college. Once they are sophomores, and adjusted to their schedules, and life outside of home, then I am good with taking on a job responsibility.

My girls are both honor students. They are both engaged in after school activities. They both do volunteer community work.

I think I am on the right track. I could be wrong, but...

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[Never_Enough]

I understand that. And cellphones, clothes and other things like that are small expenses. $1500-$1800 a month is not a small expense. After 5 years of renting what do I have to show for it? Nothing. While in a house I can sell and make all my money back and even make a profit.

Nothing? No, you have a roof over your head & freedom.

There is no guarantee you will make any money, let alone all of it back, if you own a home. Lots of variables there, sir. Ask me how I know...

 

[Never_Enough]

There are plenty of places you can rent that are not $1500-1800 a month, there may lie the problem. When people are just starting out, you want CHEAP, I've had buddies that lived in $600/mo apartments. Sure its not Luxury, but it gets you by, and gets your feet wet with real life bills.

Yup. My 1st apartment was $600 a month. To be fair, it is a lot harder today to find that sort of rent without living in a place where you might get shot daily. Unless you rent a room in a house or something.

And you just said it, you cannot afford to move out. So say that, not the whole 'renting is stupid' thing.....renting is far from stupid, sure you dont have anything physical to show for it when you move out, but you had a roof over your head for x amount of time, and it taught you real life finances. Its not a tangible thing, but valuable nonetheless.

Big picture, brotha.

+1

 

[Mpoitrast87]

well...see my post above...

Just saw your post. I do pay rent. Obviously not $1000 a month but I do help. And I am saving. Like I said. I’ve saved so much I will a good size down payment on a house.

 

[Mpoitrast87]

There are plenty of places you can rent that are not $1500-1800 a month, there may lie the problem. When people are just starting out, you want CHEAP, I've had buddies that lived in $600/mo apartments. Sure its not Luxury, but it gets you by, and gets your feet wet with real life bills.

And you just said it, you cannot afford to move out. So say that, not the whole 'renting is stupid' thing.....renting is far from stupid, sure you dont have anything physical to show for it when you move out, but you had a roof over your head for x amount of time, and it taught you real life finances. Its not a tangible thing, but valuable nonetheless.

Big picture, brotha.

I should say I can afford it. But would be living paycheck to paycheck. And no the cheapest apartment I’ve ever found was $800 and it was in a gang and crime infested area. And I’m saying thing in the sense that you have 2 options. Live at home or rent. Obviously if you don’t have a place to live with family then you have to rent. But, givin the 2 options renting is financially the worst decision.

 

[DSG2003Mach1]

There's a lady at work in her mid 60s and still financially supporting her kids who are into their 30s and maybe even 40s. It's downright sad, I guess since shes always been there to bail em out the never learned to stop being **** ups

 

[Mpoitrast87]

I don't have a great relationship with my parents. I wish I could say differently.

When I turned 18 my dad told me I could pay rent or move out. I was still in high school. He told me I was considered an adult and needed to carry my own weight (yet at this point in my dad's life he needs the help). I have never thrown that in his face.

Sometimes I see what happened as a blessing and a curse. I did move out of my parent's home at 18. I moved in and had a good friend as a roommate. It was a struggle, but life today is a struggle. I simply got a jump on reality.

I do not agree with what my parents did. I will not treat my children in that manner. I am teaching my children about finances, investing, retirement, etc. Both of my kids are smarter than I have ever been.

I am encouraging my kids to focus on school, not after school jobs. Their job is school, and I expect them to treat it as such. I refuse to allow them to do less than their best.

They both want a job. Both have said multiple times that they don't want to rely on their mom and I. As much as I understand the drive for independence, I tell them to focus on enjoying high school, and then their first year of college. Once they are sophomores, and adjusted to their schedules, and life outside of home, then I am good with taking on a job responsibility.

My girls are both honor students. They are both engaged in after school activities. They both do volunteer community work.

I think I am on the right track. I could be wrong, but...

Sent from my [device_name] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

I was raised the same way you are raising your kids which I think is the right way. I was also forced to get a job in school in the form on $8 an hour working 15-20 hours a week if I was lucky.

 

[Mpoitrast87]

Nothing? No, you have a roof over your head & freedom.

There is no guarantee you will make any money, let alone all of it back, if you own a home. Lots of variables there, sir. Ask me how I know...

Of course there’s no guarantees. But, real estate has always been and still is considered one the best investments you can make. Maybe not in every state. But definitely in New England. Friend of mine lived in his house for 2 years and sold it for 50k more than he paid and he didnt do any renovations. That’s a risk worth taking in my eyes.

 

[Zemedici]

I should say I can afford it. But would be living paycheck to paycheck. And no the cheapest apartment I’ve ever found was $800 and it was in a gang and crime infested area. And I’m saying thing in the sense that you have 2 options. Live at home or rent. Obviously if you don’t have a place to live with family then you have to rent. But, givin the 2 options renting is financially the worst decision.

Roommates? Live with Girlfriend? There are plenty of approaches that would achieve the same outcome : cheaper rent. What part of Massachusetts?

 

[KilledbyKenne]

I think a lot of the issues derive from the fact that parents(and schools) don't teach kids enough about proper money management. I received nearly zero "training" in high school. My parents didn't teach much about it either. My kids are still too young to learn and understand money management, but when they are older, I am going to do my best to pass on all my knowledge that I had to learn from hard trial and error. I hope that I can start them on an early path to being well off by saving and living within their budget.

Biggest difference for me is that I learned 1 very important thing from my parents. Work ethic. (Another thing a lot of kids these days lack) I have had plenty of very hard years of trying to make ends meet, but I have done whatever is necessary to always cover my own bills. (Working 2 jobs for the past 10 years) My parents have never paid for anything for me once I moved out, other than the occasional celebratory dinner.

Even if my parents didn't teach me much about managing my money, they did force me to grow up. They made me pay rent after high school and told me when I turned 20 that if I'm not in school by 21, I had to move out. School isn't something I wanted to do, so in the next 10 months I worked on putting money away and a month before I turned 21 I bought my first house. It was a modest little house, but it was mine and it taught me a lot. Mortgage was $850 a month. I was only making $11.50/hr. Money was tight, but I did it all on my own.

 

[suicidekings]

I hate to admit but my parents bailed me out twice. Once at 18 when I had CC debt and I certainly didn't learn my lesson. And again at 25 when I was out of a job and was rebuilding they paid for my rent a couple of months.

At 28 I found myself in debt again and I couldn't bring myself to admitting that to my parents which is when I discovered Dave Ramsey and ended up getting out of debt the hard way... by paying it off myself. It was a real eye opener.

I will say this though... When I wrote a check to pay back what I was bailed out for, it was an amazing feeling. It wasn't expected or even wanted by my parents. But I knew to be at peace I had to pay it back. Now I am the older friend to my young friends who preaches about getting out of debt etc. Most of them think im stupid but oh well. I can retire when im 52.