I nearly pee'd myself laughing at this one. OMG!!!
NWS Pics that make you :lol: every time you see them NWS
- Thread starter WarNipple
- Start date
I nearly pee'd myself laughing at this one. OMG!!!
Might have been posted in the official thread but it looks to be pretty new. Maybe the best one yet though.
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Sent from my SM-G935P using the svtperformance.com mobile app
Sorry if some of these are repeats, getting hard to remember where I found what picture
*MODS* - please remove the pics that bypass the language filter if you deem inappropriate
*MODS* - please remove the pics that bypass the language filter if you deem inappropriate
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Korean Photoshop Trolls
"Make it look like I'm a war hero"
"I don't like that I'm not wearing a uniform, please add it"
"Make it look like a group of scary people are chasing me"
"Make a more dynamic pose please"
"Make picture look more dangerous"
"Took picture of jump, but underwear are exposed, please remove"
"Make it look like horrible people are chasing me"
"Make the background more dangerous"
"I seem to be sleeping while working hard, but it doesn't look hard, please fix this"
"Make this photo less perverted and more like a scene from a movie"
"Make it look like I'm a war hero"
"I don't like that I'm not wearing a uniform, please add it"
"Make it look like a group of scary people are chasing me"
"Make a more dynamic pose please"
"Make picture look more dangerous"
"Took picture of jump, but underwear are exposed, please remove"
"Make it look like horrible people are chasing me"
"Make the background more dangerous"
"I seem to be sleeping while working hard, but it doesn't look hard, please fix this"
"Make this photo less perverted and more like a scene from a movie"
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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Wyatt Derp and **** Holliday LOL.
I can't believe there is actually a real, original commercial with all of those clowns in it. I lost a little more respect for GM after that one lol
I thought the entire commercial was a spoof at first. I still can't believe all those people are real.
Funny when dude is saying "we're all unique" and two dipshits have the same dumbass hat on. Mahk nailed it!
""
OK, not a pic, but I still laughed my ass off! 
10 Jokes Only Engineers Will Understand. Who Says Engineers Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?
Published on May 20, 2017
Tim Grosse
Executive Director, E2 Energy I Advanced IoT and Smart Building Technology I Energy and Sustainability
1. Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
5. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
6. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
7. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting coefficient of friction.
Interrupting coefficient of fri.... mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (μ)
8. Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
9. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
10. A wife asks her husband, a software engineer...
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!" A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."
10 Jokes Only Engineers Will Understand. Who Says Engineers Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?
Published on May 20, 2017
Tim Grosse
Executive Director, E2 Energy I Advanced IoT and Smart Building Technology I Energy and Sustainability
1. Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
5. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
6. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
7. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting coefficient of friction.
Interrupting coefficient of fri.... mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (μ)
8. Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
9. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
10. A wife asks her husband, a software engineer...
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!" A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."
That was great! Especially with my two favorite shows being 'Cops' and 'Live PD'.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Weatherman...those engineer jokes were hilarious!
"Those clothes probably wouldn't fit you anyway"...ROTFLMAO
"Those clothes probably wouldn't fit you anyway"...ROTFLMAO
