No........SERIOUSLY. THE Black Widow. Found her while I was reaching down to turn on the water to wash a car. I am not an insect expert but I'm pretty sure that's what it is anyway. Either way it is cool.
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Those 3 red dots are morse code for "You're gonna die"
OK. So apparently I should burn down the house? LOL. It was not that big a spider. I killed 7 Copperhead snakes last year (1 adult and I think 4 still had green tips on their tails) so this did not seem like a huge deal. I just thought it was cool because I had not seen one here yet.