Corporal Punishment (spanking) of kids: Yay or nay???

[mc01svt]

Physical discipline is important and "timeout" is a joke. There is a reason why millitaries around the world use forms of physical punishment to get soldiers to submit and respect authority. Millitary deals in life and death scenarios and they dont give soldiers a good talking too when they get out of line. All those pushups and miles of running isnt just for cardio.

Me personally i got whipped with a switch by my mom and a belt by my dad. Made me a better man because of it. Im over 30yrs old and i still say "yes maam" and "yes sir" to my parents. And yes, when a thin object touches bare skin at velocity it does leave welts. Mosquito bites leave welts so im sure a belt being swung at force is gonna leave a mark. I have cousins that their parents were too easy on them and some ended up in jail or dropped out of school. Too many people these days are trying to be a kids best friend instead of a parent. :nonono:

In singapore they still do bamboo caning. Look at the crime rate there and report back. Theres a reason for that.



On the other hand i dont believe in spanking a child out of anger. The spanking is for discipline/love, not to take out your frustrations on a kid. :nono:

 

[yellow03cobra]

It's abuse and has personally caused me a lot of issues in life and has had a dramatic effect on the person I am. Being the father of a child I think you have serious issues if you can't parent without hitting the kid.

 

[canadianbullitt]

There is other forms of discipline that hitting. Your wife does something you disapprove of do you smack her? So why is a child different? Kids dont need to be hit to learn a lesson.

 

[Drive XR7]

I'm good with spanking on the butt with an open hand. No use of "tools" like belts or wooden spoons.

I do really like the exercise ideas listed in here. Hold cans of soup out for 20 minutes or do situps or pushups.

 

[2KBlackGT]

There is other forms of discipline that hitting. Your wife does something you disapprove of do you smack her? So why is a child different? Kids dont need to be hit to learn a lesson.

is this real life? This is almost as bad as when people compare dogs to kids...

 

[Sonic605hp]

I never have and will never lay a finger on my daughter. My son has been spanked a couple times, I think it's more applicable to males. I always learned better from something physical not just being talked to or separated from others. My daughter is much more receptive to talking and understanding how disappointed we are in a bad decision she's made. Bottom line is there is a HUGE difference between spanking and abuse.

 

[paluka21]

I never have and will never lay a finger on my daughter. My son has been spanked a couple times, I think it's more applicable to males. I always learned better from something physical not just being talked to or separated from others. My daughter is much more receptive to talking and understanding how disappointed we are in a bad decision she's made. Bottom line is there is a HUGE difference between spanking and abuse.

I agree, there is a huge difference between spanking and abuse, but unfortunately some people don't know limitations to this. My philosophy is that I try to get through to my child by making him understand his actions by means of other consequences other than hitting him. I sometimes feel that its more difficult to get through to a child by verbally reasoning with them or even time-outs or loss of privileges, but it may be worth in the end. The fear of a getting physically hurt (spanked/beat) from a child's perspective is often enough to deter the behavior, but can also cause resentment towards the parent doing the spanking/beating. Ask me how I know.
I've witnessed a (previous) friend of mine who was abused as a child, all the way up through is teenage years. His father would beat him with his fist, tie him to trees in a field and throw rocks at him, hit his brother in the face with the butt of a shotgun ( hence causing unconsciousness), and severe beatings which certainly caused bruising down to the bone. He had his own family and this behavior carried right over to his own kids to the point where they were developmentally delayed, and had evident personality issues as they got older. The oldest child was around 7 years of age, but spoke on the level of a 3 years old, I'm assuming from mental/physical abuse that made him detract from wanting to learn. It used to make me sick hearing my friend and his wife call their oldest "stupid" or "retarded" and compare him to his younger brother who was their golden child. I also witnessed events such as; forcing his head on his bottle when he was 6 months old because they got tired of hearing him cry, hitting him at 2-4 years old with a thick 2x4 paddle which he custom made, entire back, buttocks, and face red from a spanking that his mother gave him when he pee'ed on the carpet while being potty trained (His mother let him run around without a diaper), and one time tying the dog leash to his arm, and allowed the dog to drag him down a dirt path during a walk we went on. Looking back, I should have done something, as in called authorities, but I was young and dumb, but I definitely regret my decision now. I didn't have any children of my own, so I thought "who am I to judge" even though it made me furious to see that child treated that way, and still pisses me off thinking about it now. My friend used to tell me "if anyone comes in here to take my kids away from me, I will decapitate them with a sword I own". And I wouldn't put it past him, but I shouldn't have cared for the well fare of those kids. The good news is, those kids are old enough where this treatment doesn't happen any more.
From my personal experience, I was also beat/spanked often, in school, at home, and by relatives. I won't go into too many details on the punishments, but at times it made me hate my parents and whoever laid a hand on me to the point where I would have hurt someone if I was capable. And because of this, I pledge that I won't hit or spank my children, because I remember how it made me feel, and still irritates me to this day when I see a child being treated like I was, or how my former friend treated his children. There's just no place in the world for some of this type of treatment. <Rant Off>

 

[venom_inc]

As a man you can get your point across with raising your voice as long as you only raise your voice for serious things. If the child deserves a spanking then it should be with an open hand without full force.

 

[yellow03cobra]

is this real life? This is almost as bad as when people compare dogs to kids...

except that he has a valid point and I'm sad to say I know from experience. Domestic abuse is on the rise for a reason.

 

[WireEater]

I agree, there is a huge difference between spanking and abuse, but unfortunately some people don't know limitations to this. My philosophy is that I try to get through to my child by making him understand his actions by means of other consequences other than hitting him. I sometimes feel that its more difficult to get through to a child by verbally reasoning with them or even time-outs or loss of privileges, but it may be worth in the end. The fear of a getting physically hurt (spanked/beat) from a child's perspective is often enough to deter the behavior, but can also cause resentment towards the parent doing the spanking/beating. Ask me how I know.
I've witnessed a (previous) friend of mine who was abused as a child, all the way up through is teenage years. His father would beat him with his fist, tie him to trees in a field and throw rocks at him, hit his brother in the face with the butt of a shotgun ( hence causing unconsciousness), and severe beatings which certainly caused bruising down to the bone. He had his own family and this behavior carried right over to his own kids to the point where they were developmentally delayed, and had evident personality issues as they got older. The oldest child was around 7 years of age, but spoke on the level of a 3 years old, I'm assuming from mental/physical abuse that made him detract from wanting to learn. It used to make me sick hearing my friend and his wife call their oldest "stupid" or "retarded" and compare him to his younger brother who was their golden child. I also witnessed events such as; forcing his head on his bottle when he was 6 months old because they got tired of hearing him cry, hitting him at 2-4 years old with a thick 2x4 paddle which he custom made, entire back, buttocks, and face red from a spanking that his mother gave him when he pee'ed on the carpet while being potty trained (His mother let him run around without a diaper), and one time tying the dog leash to his arm, and allowed the dog to drag him down a dirt path during a walk we went on. Looking back, I should have done something, as in called authorities, but I was young and dumb, but I definitely regret my decision now. I didn't have any children of my own, so I thought "who am I to judge" even though it made me furious to see that child treated that way, and still pisses me off thinking about it now. My friend used to tell me "if anyone comes in here to take my kids away from me, I will decapitate them with a sword I own". And I wouldn't put it past him, but I shouldn't have cared for the well fare of those kids. The good news is, those kids are old enough where this treatment doesn't happen any more.
From my personal experience, I was also beat/spanked often, in school, at home, and by relatives. I won't go into too many details on the punishments, but at times it made me hate my parents and whoever laid a hand on me to the point where I would have hurt someone if I was capable. And because of this, I pledge that I won't hit or spank my children, because I remember how it made me feel, and still irritates me to this day when I see a child being treated like I was, or how my former friend treated his children. There's just no place in the world for some of this type of treatment. <Rant Off>

 

[32ValveRom]

There is other forms of discipline that hitting. Your wife does something you disapprove of do you smack her? So why is a child different? Kids dont need to be hit to learn a lesson.

There's a huge difference here. If my wife (if I were married) did something I disapproved of, the fact that she's an adult gives her the mindset to argue the disagreement as an adult or understand why I disapprove. A child is a completely different case as discipline is a must. The decisions made by parents can shape out who the child will become

 

[yellow03cobra]

There's a huge difference here. If my wife (if I were married) did something I disapproved of, the fact that she's an adult gives her the mindset to argue the disagreement as an adult or understand why I disapprove. A child is a completely different case as discipline is a must. The decisions made by parents can shape out who the child will become

you are bound to get in arguements with your wife, your shaped childhood has left you with anger issues and not knowing how to handle situations appropriately. You may never intend to hurt her. People make some bad choices sometimes. You do shape the people they become. If you would have taught that kid differently he may have made better choices.

 

[WireEater]

There's a huge difference here. If my wife (if I were married) did something I disapproved of, the fact that she's an adult gives her the mindset to argue the disagreement as an adult or understand why I disapprove. A child is a completely different case as discipline is a must. The decisions made by parents can shape out who the child will become

To a point but there is also the chance of over parenting and making things worse. The way I try to see it is...

We adults have bad days... we get upset, angry, annoyed and sometimes don't want to be bothered by other people. Why can a kid not have the same feelings. Just because kids don't work or have the responsibilities as we do does not mean that they can't be stressed. Growing up as a kid is actually pretty hard when it comes to peer pressure and the kids around them and the way they get treated. Having this mindset has helped me not get as upset over things because I go... wait a minute... I complain about shit all the time... why is my kid not allowed to have a voice to express their feelings. There is a time when over stepping the line warrants a parents discipline but I often feel and see sometimes that some parents OVER do it and those are the kids that end up with problems later. It's really a catch 22 situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. SO it's our job as an adult to make the best judgement for our kids but we really need to make sure it's for the kid and not our benefit, views, beliefs.

 

[paluka21]

You're welcome. Care to contribute any insight, or just quoting my entire post to create yet more lengthy posts?

 

[WireEater]

You're welcome. Care to contribute any insight, or just quoting my entire post to create yet more lengthy posts?

I've already contributed multiple times. Can't you just use the enter key occasionally?

 

[paluka21]

I've already contributed multiple times. Can't you just use the enter key occasionally?

I didn't find your response entertaining or funny in the least. I posted a serious post and you tried to make a joke of it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Bottom line.

 

[HYBRED]

Depends on the kid

This. I was spanked maybe 2-3 times ever, and it made all the difference in the world. My brother....no ****s given. No punishment worked. Spanking just added to his "I'm a victim" mentality. If you tried to put him in time out, he flat out refused and not even physically dragging him to his room worked. Teachers told him to go to the office, he wouldn't go; he knew they couldn't physically make him. Reasoning with him was useless because he was a victim and everything you said was lies, nothing he ever did was bad. And nothing scared him enough to keep him straight. I was the kind of kid who was more afraid of disappointing my parents than of getting spanked, and that kept me in line. My brother and I are polar opposites in the discipline department, and we share parents and living situations. There simply is no one size fits all punishment rule for raising kids.

I don't know if anyone noticed, but kids going crazy and shooting up schools didn't start till they banned paddling in school. Teachers had the upper hand and the students knew it. It only took me one time in the principals office getting wacked with his paddle that he hung on the wall before I straightened up and didn't think twice about acting out again.

No, not really. My mom remembers hearing about school shootings as a child in the 70s, but it wasn't as widely known/discussed in the days before social media, 24 hour news channels, and every single person getting to air their worthless opinions on the matter in an effort to further their own misguided political stances.

 

[WireEater]

I didn't find your response entertaining or funny in the least. I posted a serious post and you tried to make a joke of it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Bottom line.

That's fine. I'm not your personal comedian. I didn't ask you to find it funny. I asked if you could use a few paragraphs so we don't have to go cross eyed to read your post is all. It has NOTHING to do with the actual context of the post so don't try getting emotional and becoming the victim. Your story was sad and unfortunate and it's great that you shared it... just giving you advice that makes it easy for other people to want to read what you have to say while making light of it.

 

[canadianbullitt]

To a point but there is also the chance of over parenting and making things worse. The way I try to see it is...

We adults have bad days... we get upset, angry, annoyed and sometimes don't want to be bothered by other people. Why can a kid not have the same feelings. Just because kids don't work or have the responsibilities as we do does not mean that they can't be stressed. Growing up as a kid is actually pretty hard when it comes to peer pressure and the kids around them and the way they get treated. Having this mindset has helped me not get as upset over things because I go... wait a minute... I complain about shit all the time... why is my kid not allowed to have a voice to express their feelings. There is a time when over stepping the line warrants a parents discipline but I often feel and see sometimes that some parents OVER do it and those are the kids that end up with problems later. It's really a catch 22 situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. SO it's our job as an adult to make the best judgement for our kids but we really need to make sure it's for the kid and not our benefit, views, beliefs.

This!
As much as some people may think its just a little spanking or a slap, this stuff can stay with a person no matter how minor.
I only remember once being spanked. Does that mean i lacked discipline in my up bringing? I have yet to rob a bank, kill someone or become a violent person in general so i think my parents did pretty well.

 

[paluka21]

That's fine. I'm not your personal comedian. I didn't ask you to find it funny. I asked if you could use a few paragraphs so we don't have to go cross eyed to read your post is all. It has NOTHING to do with the actual context of the post so don't try getting emotional and becoming the victim. Your story was sad and unfortunate and it's great that you shared it... just giving you advice that makes it easy for other people to want to read what you have to say while making light of it.

Fair enough.