Hey guys I thought I'd share this really surreal experience I had today. I guess the quickest way to summarize it is work, bills and life became mentaly overwhelming today, its not a common thing but it isnt uncommon either. I almost always turn to music. I actually stumbled across this video when looking for new stone sour. Its been a very long time since something had hit home and kind of let me just release the things that bind up in my head, I was brought to tears fairly quick at some of the topics that get brought up. I'm not here to saulk just to pass something along that might help someone let go if only just the smallest amount.
Sudden fits of depression
- Thread starter trc46
- Start date
Incredible video - just watched it all. Everyone has their demons they struggle with. @zhisel Wrote a thread outlining that both him and I have created a sort of support network for the boards, and are always available to talk to, no matter the time. If you want to talk or just get some shit off your chest we're here to help, for what its worth. No one should struggle alone, ever.
Here's the thread
https://www.svtperformance.com/forums/threads/svtp-support-network.1127157/
And about the video, it's astonishing the percentage of people who are dealing with psychological issues (depression , anxiety, suicidal tendencies, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc) were abused in some shape or form when they were a child - I bet the number is 75% or higher. I had no idea about Corey. Thank you for sharing, and the Dr made perfect sense when he explained the sound of Taylor's music.
Here's the thread
https://www.svtperformance.com/forums/threads/svtp-support-network.1127157/
And about the video, it's astonishing the percentage of people who are dealing with psychological issues (depression , anxiety, suicidal tendencies, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc) were abused in some shape or form when they were a child - I bet the number is 75% or higher. I had no idea about Corey. Thank you for sharing, and the Dr made perfect sense when he explained the sound of Taylor's music.
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That term " half alive" for a boy who grew up with no father.
Hits home hard
Hits home hard
Don't know what made me even start to watch the video, but i did with the thought that as soon as I determined the doc was a celeb fake doc I would be out of there ... and ended up watching the whole thing. What Mr. Taylor had to go through, and his resolve that his kids would have to deal with none of that, long before he even went to the doc. There's a man of resolve, right there.
Craz
While it could be argued either way; his music has helped me tremendously along my path in life. Sobering to see someone that has set me straight more than a few times battle their demons.
Its so easy to get overwhelmed by depression. For me i always just go out for a late night ride be it in a car or a bike on an empty road. I spend friday, Saturday and sunday at home while the wife is at work and it sucks.
i see. did you know delusions are a symptom of depression? I didnt know for the longest time. also i thought delusions were seeing something that isnt real. it can also be hearing things that arent there and believe things that arent real
You mean like all the fake news lately?
I hear ya in a way. I live a life of " loneliness" I lived my life like an asshole for the last 10 years.
Have lived in like 11 states in the last 5 years ( lost count honestly) due to being in the oil industry. Went to 5 high schools, multiple middle schools, multiple elementary ( Was raised by a broke single mom)
When your 30th bday happens two months ago, and not one person tells you happy birthday ( except your coworker) until you post a picture on Facebook saying " 30th bday drinks " You realize how truly alone you feel.
People ask me all the time it seems " Why do you work so much" ( I haven't had a day off since July. By my choice) And I answer.. Honestly what else do I have to do? I have no real life friends I could call a "best friend" ( other than my co worker) I have " friends" but it's a once every couple months hang out if it happens. I have no family within 9 hours. My life consists of, working, sitting at my laptop, and alcohol.
I came to the conclusion of if it weren't for my job. I could legitimately " die" and nobody would notice. Because there isn't anybody on the planet other than people with work that I actually speak to on a regular basis.
Could I change it sure? But then I say, sure I could work a 40 hour a week job, but I'd probably take a 50k a year pay cut. I'm a high school dropout with a GED. My knowledge is oil, its what I know. And with that, comes lots of work.
I say this with the utmost respect to you and the decisions you have made but I would get help with the alcohol before it snowballs and if you truly have no time for a girl then I would just get hookers.
Have you tried to meet women and find a girl or are you just too busy?
Finding women isn't the issue. Keeping is. I live 1.5 hours from Texas Tech.
Either I screw it up, or I just cant focus on them due to work.
Hell today I'm " off" I've taken 17 phone calls in the last 3 hours
Keep them is way overrated.
Damn what keeps you with no days off? Are you DD, MWD?
Management in the oil industry.
I overlook tank batteries/leases/drop stations/drivers for an oil transportation company from over a 500ish square mile radius. And since oil never stops I never stop. Basically oil is produced into a tank, and when the tank has a certain amount of oil I get the call to get a truck out there to transport the oil from that location to another to put in a pipeline.
Since I have different drivers working 7 days a week, and certain companies that we haul for dedicated to me. It's an every day thing.
Sometimes the stress is not worth the big bucks.
Gotcha. I'm a rig manager which is enough of a PITA but we do work on a rotation shift so at least I get time off to decompress. After 14 days, I'm damn sure in need of a break.
I miss frac and rig work. Did that in North Dakota and Colorado back in 2013. 7 on 7 off was a great schedule.
Dont get me wrong, I'm not on site every day anymore. Just not a day goes by without at least I'd say 30-40 texts, 200ish emails I have to sort through, and at least 10 phone calls. And those phone calls range from " Oh hey there is a spill" to... " Night dispatch wont pick up their phone, can you tell me a tank number" ( at 2am), or like today... an oil company imported files into our database, and apparently something was wrong with their code and it changed all our destinations of where to deliver their oil. So I have to go in and look through all of their files, and "re change them" to their original destination.
Is it a "bad gig"? No. I mean I'm thankful for my job every day because I never thought I'd get to where I'm at. But at 30 years old I've realized the path I'm on will end with me alone as where I will work in this industry is nowhere near family. And honestly, Ive tried dating, but a woman sleeping next to you will only get woken up by a phone call so many times early on in the relationship. Or have disrupted dinners, etc etc. For so long
Dont get me wrong, I'm not on site every day anymore. Just not a day goes by without at least I'd say 30-40 texts, 200ish emails I have to sort through, and at least 10 phone calls. And those phone calls range from " Oh hey there is a spill" to... " Night dispatch wont pick up their phone, can you tell me a tank number" ( at 2am), or like today... an oil company imported files into our database, and apparently something was wrong with their code and it changed all our destinations of where to deliver their oil. So I have to go in and look through all of their files, and "re change them" to their original destination.
Is it a "bad gig"? No. I mean I'm thankful for my job every day because I never thought I'd get to where I'm at. But at 30 years old I've realized the path I'm on will end with me alone as where I will work in this industry is nowhere near family. And honestly, Ive tried dating, but a woman sleeping next to you will only get woken up by a phone call so many times early on in the relationship. Or have disrupted dinners, etc etc. For so long
Hookers are a great stress break with no bs.
here is the thing, you have to find what works for YOU. Everyone has stress. Everyone has the bullshit to deal with. But all you need is ONE thing that helps you let go. And I'm not talking about drugs or alcohol. ****, I have been there my self. But you can't go that direction. You need to find the one thing that lets you be free. One thing where you understand stress free freedom. The key is to focus on the positive things in life. I have been through depression, I have been through the bullshit, I have been through downers. Just focus on the positive. Believe me, there is always someone in this world that has it worse than you. ****, even starving children have it worse than us. Go to a poor city in Mexico for a week and you will really understand what great lives we have. It's not about what we DON'T have, it's about what we DO have. Do you have a home to live in? Do you have a wife or a girlfriend to kiss ? Do you have clean clothes? Do you have breakfast, lunch and dinner? This is shit we don't think about. This is shit we take for granted. Once you understand the value of your life you appreciate yourself and you appreciate others. So don't go around blaming others for your life. Only YOU can make changes and only YOU can make yourself happy. If you hate your job, then ****ing leave. Why should you feel like a robot? You don't have to work 80 hours a week to feel complete.
I identify a lot with Corey and it's probably why I'm a huge Slipknot fan. It's an amazing experience to begin to figure out why you do things you do and how experiences especially in your youth can effect you as a person. I'm a believer in therapy and that feeling grows stronger after every session I have. The great thing is that when you come to this realization you can change yourself for the better and stop the cycle of abuse and neglect. Good luck to anyone here struggling with anything, I know it's terrible at times but it's way better than the alternative no matter how bad things get. Love yourself, and take the time to love those that truly care about you. Your life will improve and so will theirs if you give them a positive interaction.
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