Today sucks

[Machdup1]

Yes, and no.

Cancelling the credit cards will have a negative effect on his credit. He simply needs to call them up. If a joint account, he needs her name off the account. If its only his account(but she may have one if they sent two), he needs to simply have them send new cards with new numbers, and to a PO Box that he should be getting tomorrow.

No, he needs to cancel them and any joint bank accounts and switch banks and credit card companies. I failed to do this and 15 years after the divorce was finalized a creditor clean out my checking account. My attorney told me there was very little i could do. The bank told me that there was nothing they could do to protect any of my accounts, even those established after the marriage ended.

It was an expensive lesson.

 

[kevinatfms]

Escorts and blow. Welcome back to life.

 

[Uncle Meat]

My wife of 5 years just gave up and filed for divorce. I didn't even get a warning. I guess it wasn't met to be.

You mean this happened completely out of the blue? You had no "indicators" that something was not right?

U.M.

 

[VerySneaky]

Thank you guys. I love SVTP. You guys and girls always make me laugh. I am changing my goals. As far as getting in shape I am, but I could use an improvement. As far as age I am 37. I know I'm not young, but I don't think I'm old either. I believe that if I keep at it and stay focused I can bunch back and accomplish anything I put my mind to. Thanks again for the support. My first plan is to go back to Utah to be closer with family. If it works out . I hope I can find some members up there to hang out with and go for cruises with.

Definitely get that family support. I hope the separation goes amicably... did you guys have kid(s)? Time to reignite some old flames, my friend!

 

[motoman991]

No warning, huh? Don't be naive.

 

[lobra97]

i ended up selling my 97 cobra as well for her and the family.....took me a few years but i got into a terminator....#yolo
stay busy OP and protect your money and credit. glad she couldn't touch my money, she did try though, bank called me to alert me.

 

[03cobra#694]

Sorry to hear Bud, been there done that. It'll get better with time even though it suck ass right now.

 

[Zemedici]

So glad i'm have no intention to get married anytime soon. And I dont want children. It'll get better OP, I walked into work to have my boss inform me i accidentally ordered 14 bedsides for a F-150 @ $500 apiece, which cannot be returned to Ford, so if anyone needs one I'll hook you up.

 

[kirks5oh]

been there, done that. it sucks. i was married for over 10 years, to a lieing, cheating, you know what. we had 3 kids together. the kids are fantastic, but the divorce is especially rough on them. i did everything i could to make it work. but in the end, i was the only one willing to make change, and work at the marriage. if there are kids involved, prepare for battle. i was the one who filed, and i did my homework---went to several lawyers to block her from using them, etc etc. i moved all the money into a new savings account, hid all valuables in a safe---did a bunch of things to prevent her from stealing--it worked for the most part.

i could literally write a book about all the crazy shit she did. erased ipad, shut my phone down (its also my pager for the hospital while i'm on call, so the hospital had no way to contact me for emergencies, etc), called the cops on me and faked physical abuse, stole my laptop and wouldn't give it back, harassed me with texts all day long while at work, ordered gay porn catalogs in my name, left shit from her new boyfriend around the house, chased me around the house to try to get at my phone, scratched my GTR while i was backing out of the garage, tried to tell all her friends i abused her, lied about everything, stole 2 tv's from my house as well as $5k or more in property from the house, then she would randomly try to shower with me---i'm sure there's more, i'm forgetting.

once i started dating again, she even contacted my girlfriend's ex to undermine my relationship. it was crazy. in the end, i had to buy her a new house, and she got 50% of our assets. i got 50% custody of the kids (which is a miracle considering my busy career), got to keep the huge house, all my cars, and any and all friends that we had. i was able to get way more involved in my kids' lives, which is awesome, because they are so young, and its rewarding. i don't work as much, yet still make 90% of what i did. i made a one time alimony payment (tax deductible) to her that was about 1/3 of what i make in a month, and never have to pay alimony again. sure, she gets quite a bit in child support, but i am actually better off financially. that, and i got in better shape, and feel 100% better. she has a live-in boyfriend who is a leach, and the kids don't like him or his kid. its nice to not have do deal with that drama.

use your family and friends for support. go to the gym, workout, do some car work, stay busy. i have the kids a week at a time. when i have them, its super busy. when i don't have them, i workout like a madman. i've been able to travel, and visit my family a lot more. do NOT get into a serious relationship right away. the temptation/comfort to do so will be there. do NOT do it. date for fun. do whatever you want, and don't get seriously involved. if you don't have kids, move back near your family. you'll put some distance between you and your ex, and will be able to get a fresh start.

good luck. you'll get through it. better off divorcing at this point in your life, as opposed to 10 years from now. i'm 37, by the way. there are plenty of people in their 30's who are not married. or you can choose to date a younger woman. enjoy.

 

[nxhappy]

no worries bro, shit happens for a reason. You're alive and young. Enjoy life. Go travel the world.....seriously.

 

[ViciousJay]

Sorry to hear OP. The dating game sucks out there! Trust me!

Advice... get the rings back, any thing you want get it the hell out of the house asap and to your parents, sibling or neighbor (just have them hold onto it for you). DO NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER she knows that shes got you in a spider web. Regardless of kids or any etc just be totally un emotional around her. Anything she says get it in writing, no verbal BS contracts or promises! Lawyer up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride for a bit.

 

[Thump_rrr]

So glad i'm have no intention to get married anytime soon. And I dont want children. It'll get better OP, I walked into work to have my boss inform me i accidentally ordered 14 bedsides for a F-150 @ $500 apiece, which cannot be returned to Ford, so if anyone needs one I'll hook you up.

Is a bedside the inner part of the bed?
How the hell do you accidentally order 14 of them?

 

[Dirks9901]

been there, done that. it sucks. i was married for over 10 years, to a lieing, cheating, you know what. we had 3 kids together. the kids are fantastic, but the divorce is especially rough on them. i did everything i could to make it work. but in the end, i was the only one willing to make change, and work at the marriage. if there are kids involved, prepare for battle. i was the one who filed, and i did my homework---went to several lawyers to block her from using them, etc etc. i moved all the money into a new savings account, hid all valuables in a safe---did a bunch of things to prevent her from stealing--it worked for the most part.

i could literally write a book about all the crazy shit she did. erased ipad, shut my phone down (its also my pager for the hospital while i'm on call, so the hospital had no way to contact me for emergencies, etc), called the cops on me and faked physical abuse, stole my laptop and wouldn't give it back, harassed me with texts all day long while at work, ordered gay porn catalogs in my name, left shit from her new boyfriend around the house, chased me around the house to try to get at my phone, scratched my GTR while i was backing out of the garage, tried to tell all her friends i abused her, lied about everything, stole 2 tv's from my house as well as $5k or more in property from the house, then she would randomly try to shower with me---i'm sure there's more, i'm forgetting.

once i started dating again, she even contacted my girlfriend's ex to undermine my relationship. it was crazy. in the end, i had to buy her a new house, and she got 50% of our assets. i got 50% custody of the kids (which is a miracle considering my busy career), got to keep the huge house, all my cars, and any and all friends that we had. i was able to get way more involved in my kids' lives, which is awesome, because they are so young, and its rewarding. i don't work as much, yet still make 90% of what i did. i made a one time alimony payment (tax deductible) to her that was about 1/3 of what i make in a month, and never have to pay alimony again. sure, she gets quite a bit in child support, but i am actually better off financially. that, and i got in better shape, and feel 100% better. she has a live-in boyfriend who is a leach, and the kids don't like him or his kid. its nice to not have do deal with that drama.

use your family and friends for support. go to the gym, workout, do some car work, stay busy. i have the kids a week at a time. when i have them, its super busy. when i don't have them, i workout like a madman. i've been able to travel, and visit my family a lot more. do NOT get into a serious relationship right away. the temptation/comfort to do so will be there. do NOT do it. date for fun. do whatever you want, and don't get seriously involved. if you don't have kids, move back near your family. you'll put some distance between you and your ex, and will be able to get a fresh start.

good luck. you'll get through it. better off divorcing at this point in your life, as opposed to 10 years from now. i'm 37, by the way. there are plenty of people in their 30's who are not married. or you can choose to date a younger woman. enjoy.

Wow that's nuts

But to the part I highlighted in red...Lol wut!? why!? that is all kinds of crazy

 

[Torch10th]

Sorry to hear OP. I strongly encourage you to consult with several divorce attorneys. It's different in every state, but some of what is being advised here could end up causing larger legal consequences. Distribution of assets is going to be up to the court. If you're found attempting to hide assets, it's possible you may lose all of them in the end.

I have not been through a divorce, but have helped a close friend through an extremely bitter divorce. Based on that experience my advise is to.

1. Don't speak to anybody (other than your lawyer) about the situation
2. Hold off on any sort of dating, playing around, strip clubs, prostitutes etc. until the divorce is final
3. Keep your head on straight and your mouth in check. Anything said to or about your wife will be used against you
4. Document everything. All texts, all e-mails, all written and verbal correspondence

You're lucky in that you don't have kids, that makes it a bit easier. This situation doesn't sound like it's mutual since you say it was sprung on you. If that's the case, don't expect the divorce to be quick and painless. The only thing you have left to give this girl is what you own. Plan that she's going to try and take as much of it as she can.

On to the good stuff. Now is the perfect time to really dive in to something you may have been wanting to. I wouldn't advise any major purchases, but get a good hobby that you can immerse yourself in. Hang out with friends and family. They'll help you through and you may find that you're happier for it.

If you decide you want to buy a car or something, speak with a lawyer about how to protect the asset from the divorce process.

 

[VirtualSVT]

Nothing helps you get over the last like blowing your load into the next one.

Don't dwell and stay busy.

 

[Blown 89]

It will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. Just keep that in mind while things are rough.

 

[kirks5oh]

Wow that's nuts

But to the part I highlighted in red...Lol wut!? why!? that is all kinds of crazy

there's no explanation as to why she did half the things she did. i'm confident to know what i bring to the table in terms of personality, success, looks, etc. no one understands why women do insane things.

but yeah, several times tried to get in the shower while we were sharing the house---the kids stayed in the house throughout the 9 month divorce proceedings--when you had custody of the kids, you were in the house. when you didn't, we were in separate apartments. its called a nesting agreement. it worked well for the most part. until she realized she wasn't getting the house and then she started stealing things. i wasn't going to go to court over a coffee maker, or two tv's, but it sure as shit was annoying. but yes, on days where i would come back in the early morning to take the kids to school, she would randomly try to hop in the shower with me. bizarre. i never fell for it, for reasons i won't go into.

and in terms of asset protection---i am not advocating HIDING assets. only protecting them. i notified my lawyer of all the money i moved, all the belongings i protected. as stated, its all traceable. i did this to prevent her from breaking them, or stealing them, etc. realize my ex had no job (stay at home mom). it would do me no good to take her to court for scratching my car, or stealing my laptop. its not like she was going to pay for the court costs/lawyer costs, and in the end, we were looking at the big picture (getting it over quickly, avoiding a trial, avoiding alimony, etc).

 

[sleepiedaze]

19-24 year olds love men between the ages of 32 and 41. your in the golden age of panty slaying my friend. here is your laundry list.

1. lawyer up! california + divorce + your a man = anal destruction for you!
2. finalize divorce
3. bang every single young piece of ass that walks into your life.

trust me your in the golden age bracket for youngins. dont get seriouse just lay that pipe down like it was your last day on earth.

 

[GOTSVT?]

Sorry to hear OP, sounds like she found someone else.
Been there, done that. ITs no fun.
In the end I'm in a better place with a better life now, minus not seeing my kids at my leisure.
kirks50h had some great suggestions, and the gym is probably the best place
to get your shit back together.
Good luck!

 

[cobra_4]

Keep your head up bud! Praying things get better for ya.