Today sucks

[Torch10th]

and in terms of asset protection---i am not advocating HIDING assets. only protecting them. i notified my lawyer of all the money i moved, all the belongings i protected. as stated, its all traceable. i did this to prevent her from breaking them, or stealing them, etc. realize my ex had no job (stay at home mom). it would do me no good to take her to court for scratching my car, or stealing my laptop. its not like she was going to pay for the court costs/lawyer costs, and in the end, we were looking at the big picture (getting it over quickly, avoiding a trial, avoiding alimony, etc).

Yeah I was just pointing out what nobody had actually stated. There's been a lot of "move this, protect that" but no disclaimer that actually hiding that stuff may cause additional problems. That's simply why I advocated contacting an attorney about it.

 

[VenomVeins]

19-24 year olds love men between the ages of 32 and 41. your in the golden age of panty slaying my friend. here is your laundry list.

1. lawyer up! california + divorce + your a man = anal destruction for you!
2. finalize divorce
3. bang every single young piece of ass that walks into your life.

trust me your in the golden age bracket for youngins. dont get seriouse just lay that pipe down like it was your last day on earth.

I was literally reading this thinking to myself "He must live in one of the San Diego beach communities, like PB".....because there is alot of truth to that age and girls statement. Of course, you've got to be in shape...but still very true over here.



OP, like others have said-been there, done that. Mine lasted 5 years too-and I lived in L.A. as well before moving down to San Diego after finalizing it.


Number 1 thing is to lawyer up immediately. Unless she is Mother Theresa, she is going to come after some type of money or possesions. Probably both. I ended losing 1 of my 2 cars (2 year old Mustang GT at the time) and some "valuable" posessions that included all furniture, china we got for the wedding, and jewelry. Judge pretty much laughed out her Alimony attempt.

The same could happen to you. No kids makes it MUCH MUCH easier.

Then, like others have said, hook up and have fun out on the dating scene. Download the Tinder App. Get a gym membership and hit it hard. Go buy that Guitar/Bass/Drum Kit/Hobby you always to wanted to do and dive into it. TRAVEL! Seeing the world and everything it offered (including multitudes of beautiful women) was a life changer!


Enjoy the reset button-It was painful as hell but one of the best things to literally happen to me. I have no doubt you will eventually feel the same.

 

[kirks5oh]

Yeah I was just pointing out what nobody had actually stated. There's been a lot of "move this, protect that" but no disclaimer that actually hiding that stuff may cause additional problems. That's simply why I advocated contacting an attorney about it.

for sure. first thing i did was lawyer up. i followed all of his recommendations., while my ex made countless mcsteaks--the biggest one was living with her boyfriend throughout the whole divorce proceeding. while it sucked to be cheated on, etc etc.--these days i love this guy more than ever. he saved me huge amounts of alimony. and he has to deal where psychotic tendencies--i get none of her craziness.
it sucked having to follow every little detail from the lawyer. even when he told me to give her money for this, money for that. in the end, i got that back and thensome with the final settlement, as well as not having to pay alimony. i was at risk for 5 years of alimony, and 6 figures of it per year. so when i had to pay her $7k to get new furniture in her new house, i was initially upset--but now it seems like nothing now that i know the big picture. as stated, document everything. i literally emailed a weekly log of activities to my lawyer. everything she said, every interaction. screenshots of texts, emails, pictures of damage to the house, etc etc. better to have it and not need it.

 

[Torch10th]

for sure. first thing i did was lawyer up. i followed all of his recommendations., while my ex made countless mcsteaks--the biggest one was living with her boyfriend throughout the whole divorce proceeding. while it sucked to be cheated on, etc etc.--these days i love this guy more than ever. he saved me huge amounts of alimony. and he has to deal where psychotic tendencies--i get none of her craziness.
it sucked having to follow every little detail from the lawyer. even when he told me to give her money for this, money for that. in the end, i got that back and thensome with the final settlement, as well as not having to pay alimony. i was at risk for 5 years of alimony, and 6 figures of it per year. so when i had to pay her $7k to get new furniture in her new house, i was initially upset--but now it seems like nothing now that i know the big picture. as stated, document everything. i literally emailed a weekly log of activities to my lawyer. everything she said, every interaction. screenshots of texts, emails, pictures of damage to the house, etc etc. better to have it and not need it.

Yup, the system is stacked against us guys in a lot of places. You've got to be the one on top of the game to come out of it in a good spot.

 

[HandBanana]

I, too, do not understand why some people place such an importance on ****ing everything that moves. That's their business, though--nothing wrong with it, I just don't get it. To tell this guy that he deserves every STD on the planet just because he likes to **** hot chicks? Come on, now, I think you're being kind of extreme.

I think not. People wonder why women are so crazy and do the insane things that they do and here's part of the answer: dudes that act like that. What a freaking embarrassment. If you want to be with a decent woman, approach as such and treat her as such. It blows my mind that morons like that go through their lives treating women like objects and then are amazed that they can't find a decent wife. Enjoy your karma hombre.

 

[VenomVeins]

for sure. first thing i did was lawyer up. i followed all of his recommendations., while my ex made countless mcsteaks--the biggest one was living with her boyfriend throughout the whole divorce proceeding. while it sucked to be cheated on, etc etc.--these days i love this guy more than ever. he saved me huge amounts of alimony. and he has to deal where psychotic tendencies--i get none of her craziness.
it sucked having to follow every little detail from the lawyer. even when he told me to give her money for this, money for that. in the end, i got that back and thensome with the final settlement, as well as not having to pay alimony. i was at risk for 5 years of alimony, and 6 figures of it per year. so when i had to pay her $7k to get new furniture in her new house, i was initially upset--but now it seems like nothing now that i know the big picture. as stated, document everything. i literally emailed a weekly log of activities to my lawyer. everything she said, every interaction. screenshots of texts, emails, pictures of damage to the house, etc etc. better to have it and not need it.

Kirk, your story is ****ing CRAZY. Glad you made it through the garbage.

EVERY man should have to read that story before saying "I do". Lol.

 

[kirks5oh]

I think not. People wonder why women are so crazy and do the insane things that they do and here's part of the answer: dudes that act like that. What a freaking embarrassment. If you want to be with a decent woman, approach as such and treat her as such. It blows my mind that morons like that go through their lives treating women like objects and then are amazed that they can't find a decent wife. Enjoy your karma hombre.

relax. realize that some women (moreso these days) have the same mentality towards men. if you're not looking for anything serious, and just looking to have care-free fun, then there's nothing wrong with this approach. its not my thing, but i can certainly see why some people who get burned have this approach. there are plenty of women who are just looking to hook up and treat a guy as a meal ticket. it goes both ways, not that i am advocating that type of behavior. and there are plenty of guys who go psycho, and get possessive/nuts when they think a girl hooking up with them means serious dating

 

[Zemedici]

Is a bedside the inner part of the bed?
How the hell do you accidentally order 14 of them?

The outer part, the quarter panel basically. Fat fingered it and my supervisor didnt catch it.



shitty day.

 

[HandBanana]

relax. realize that some women (moreso these days) have the same mentality towards men. if you're not looking for anything serious, and just looking to have care-free fun, then there's nothing wrong with this approach. its not my thing, but i can certainly see why some people who get burned have this approach. there are plenty of women who are just looking to hook up and treat a guy as a meal ticket. it goes both ways, not that i am advocating that type of behavior. and there are plenty of guys who go psycho, and get possessive/nuts when they think a girl hooking up with them means serious dating

Yeah, your case is pretty insane, sounds like you got the hell out of a horrible situation. Kudos.

As far as the Tinder-toting crew these days, agreed, it does go both ways, for a time. But there are definitely a majority of men who continue to try to run this game well into their late 30's, early 40's and it's just pathetic.

 

[truefiveo]

Marriage in the USA is not designed for men these days.

 

[kirks5oh]

Kirk, your story is ****ing CRAZY. Glad you made it through the garbage.

EVERY man should have to read that story before saying "I do". Lol.

i never tallied our lawyer fees. obviously, i paid for her lawyer too. at the very least, it was over quick, and i didn't have to go to court except for the final settlement hearing. wisconsin is a 50/50, no fault state. they view divorce as damaging to the community as a whole, and look to restore equality to the community. both financially and in terms of the children. it sucks to see everything split right down the middle, but i have 50% custody, which is remarkable. and i have become the better half (by far) when it comes to the kids--it wasn't always this way--i worked way too much previously. i live in a small town, and still have to see her and her idiot bf at the ymca, and other places. and everybody knows everybody's business. she lost all her friends, and has had to go back to work. oh well, its not my fault. in the end, the kids are even better off because i'm healthier, and they don't see us arguing non-stop.

i will say it is hard as hell to raise kids and work. my hats off to single parents who have their kids 100% of the time. i use a nanny two days a week for a couple hours on weeks when i have them. but packing lunches, taking them to activities, going to and from school, baths, bedtime, preparing meals, and interacting with them and being a good parent is difficult when you have a demanding, full time career. add to that doing household stuff (cleaning, bills, etc etc), and there's little time left to have a relationship or go to the gym. when i have the kids for a week its busy as hell. when i don't have them, its almost like being in college--only with an unlimited bankroll.

 

[HYBRED]

My advice? Don't fight over stupid stuff like material possessions, they're honestly not worth the heartache. Don't fight dirty, don't be an ass - realize it's gonna be ugly no matter what, so just get it over with as quickly and maturely as possible. There's really no good way to do it, and no sense in making things harder, so just make it quick. That way you can move on with your own life ASAP.

 

[HandBanana]

Marriage in the USA is not designed for men these days.

haha, how did I know that was coming from you. I'm just an old-fashioned commitment kinda dude I guess.

 

[truefiveo]

haha, how did I know that was coming from you. I'm just an old-fashioned commitment kinda dude I guess.

I have a commitment too.....with my financial and life freedom.
I'm not too fond of investing money and alot of my precious time in other human beings....they tend to be unstable and risky investments.
At the end we walk away with nothing but emotional distress and a little glimmer of hope to start over.

No thanks...Ill gladly choose the "old man in the strip club with the Corvette parked outside"option for now....:rolling:

 

[Nick01cobra]

Thanks SVTP. I am trying to be as civil and as mature as possible. I told her that I wanted just the two of us to go through our stuff and start splitting it up. Thankfully she doesn't want any money or my cars for now. I really appreciate the support and feedback from this site. Even though I don't really know anyone on here. You guys and girls are good people and I would be honored to call you all friends. Thank you again for all the support.

 

[03cobra#694]

Thread cleaned up. Watch your insults outside of SD.

 

[tistan]

Thanks SVTP. I am trying to be as civil and as mature as possible. I told her that I wanted just the two of us to go through our stuff and start splitting it up. Thankfully she doesn't want any money or my cars for now. I really appreciate the support and feedback from this site. Even though I don't really know anyone on here. You guys and girls are good people and I would be honored to call you all friends. Thank you again for all the support.

That is because she hasn't lawyered up yet. As soon as an attorney starts feeding her the bs, and telling her what she deserves to get out of you, then she will want it all.

 

[Lambeau]

All joking aside, I truly am sorry to hear this. Stay positive, keep high standards, and work out. Exercise is an awesome way to keep your wits…

And hey, if you're ever up here on the Tundra, give me a shout! I'll listen and buy you a cold one.

 

[03cobra#694]

All joking aside, I truly am sorry to hear this. Stay positive, keep high standards, and work out. Exercise is an awesome way to keep your wits…

And hey, if you're ever up here on the Tundra, give me a shout! I'll listen and buy you a cold one.

Funny pic that I removed, but lets see if we can keep this serious. Thanks.

 

[GTBill]

I'm going through a breakup as well. It started last Monday. Reading this thread has helped me a lot.

I'm not the main subject here but, I'm just thanking you guys also.