Hurricane Irma

[Terminator Dave]

I don't have a nuclear war bunker or anything of that nature...

I have a question, due in part to me sheltered life..
Just where do you run away from this thing? The quakes in CA, have never been enough to have serious enough to warrant what you're going through. Where does everyone that can't get out go! Does the state or the feds have any plans? Is there enough space to take your families out of harms way? What do you take, as in valuables, etc.? Lastly, what do you do with your toys? Someone already said the highways will be horrible.. Again, my thoughts are with you all.

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[Gravik]

So they're saving the ammo for looters

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[03cobra#694]

I have a question, due in part to me sheltered life..
Just where do you run away from this thing? The quakes in CA, have never been enough to have serious enough to warrant what you're going through. Where does everyone that can't get out go! Does the state or the feds have any plans? Is there enough space to take your families out of harms way? What do you take, as in valuables, etc.? Lastly, what do you do with your toys? Someone already said the highways will be horrible.. Again, my thoughts are with you all.

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Can't go anywhere, and it's only north to get out. Good luck with that.

 

[03cobra#694]

So they're saving the ammo for looters

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If I see anyone else post crap like this, permaban. Do we understand moron, you political ass?

 

[Terminator Dave]

Can't go anywhere, and it's only north to get out. Good luck with that.

So, stupid of me, but what do you do? I saw a deal on the News, I think it's on everyone's new, a Cat 5 hurricane levels everything. At least in CA, all you had was a roof lifting, unless of course you were unlucky enough to be on the freeway when the quake hit. Not pretty on that one.

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[03cobra#694]

So, stupid of me, but what do you do? I saw a deal on the News, I think it's on everyone's new, a Cat 5 hurricane levels everything. At least in CA, all you had was a roof lifting, unless of course you were unlucky enough to be on the freeway when the quake hit. Not pretty on that one.

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Nothing, you can't do anything. Make sure your home can withstand at least a cat 4. They don't level everything, but the damage is stupid. Most houses here are block and will withstand huge wind. It just depends on how well the roof trusses are tied to that block/concrete wall. How old your roof and whet type plays a factor also. Windows/doors also play a factor as well. Impact windows aren't required (yet), but any opening into the house is crucial to protect. Garage doors are the worse.

 

[Blk04L]

Sigh

 

[spectreman]

Dave Barry sums up the situation EXACTLY; gotta keep your sense of humor thru it all:

http://www.miamiherald.com/living/li...171702477.html

Even with Irma knocking at our door, we here in Miami are NOT FREAKING OUT AT ALL!
BY DAVE BARRY

SEPTEMBER 07, 2017 7:42 AM

Here’s how I know a hurricane is coming: We have lentils.

We NEVER eat lentils. I am not 100 percent sure what a lentil is. I do know for a fact that not once has anybody in our household ever said, “You know what would be great for dinner tonight? Lentils!”

But at the moment we have roughly a 45-year supply of lentils on hand. This is because we are in Hurricane Preparedness Freakout Mode, and one of the things we Floridians do in this mode is go to Publix and get in long lines to buy mass quantities of things we will never eat. Publix could put out a big display of cans labeled “Toad Intestines Packed In Snail Vomit” and we Floridians would snap them all up in minutes. That’s how prepared we are.

My family did manage to secure a large supply of jerky, which we actually like. We chew it thoughtfully while we watch the Weather Channel people tell us, over and over and over, how screwed we are. All our jerky will be gone before Irma gets here.

When we’re not eating our hurricane supplies or waiting in line to buy more, we’re going on the Internet to check the computer models, which are these little lines on a map showing where various computers think the hurricane will go. Checking these lines makes me nervous, so I try not to do it too often. Once every six minutes is plenty. I root for the lines that have the hurricane going away from South Florida, but there’s always at least one line going straight toward me. If you zoom in really close, you see a little square at the end of this line labeled DAVE BARRY’S HOUSE. Sometimes I click on this line with my mouse and try to drag it out to sea, but evidently computer models don’t work that way.

As part of our preparedness we have a “whole house” generator, which is the size of a nuclear submarine but more expensive. We installed it after Wilma knocked out our power for a couple of weeks in 2005 and we all smelled like unlaundered jockstraps. We take good care of our generator: It gets serviced regularly, and it automatically tests itself every week. That is why I can calmly report that, with a major hurricane heading directly at my house, our generator, which has been well-treated for all these years and has never been asked to generate anything, IS NOT WORKING. Really. When I turn it on, it turns itself right back off. It is the French labor union of generators.

So I called our generator guy, a good and competent man named Ralph (I am sucking up here) who at the moment is dealing with frantic distress calls from pretty much every generator owner in the greater Florida-Georgia area. Ralph is hoping he can get us up and running before Irma gets here. If not, I will implement Plan B, which is to go to Home Depot and purchase – if there are any left – a bazooka. We’ll see how the French Labor Generator likes THAT.

Anyway, to summarize, in checklist form, the current state of our hurricane preparedness:

ELECTRICITY: No.

JERKY: Going fast.

LENTILS: Check!

So we’re as ready as we’ll ever be. I hope my fellow South Floridians are also prepared; I hope — seriously — that we all come out of this OK. But whatever happens, I am confident that when it’s over, we will come together, as a united, caring community, and get into fistfights in gas lines.

I am definitely getting a bazooka.

 

[DSG2003Mach1]

you're in sanitation?

Yes

 

[DSG2003Mach1]

Sigh

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Well, back on the shit list you go lmao

 

[Blk04L]

Well, back on the shit list you go lmao

I want to say I'm close to saying f it and stop looking.

But I won't, cause I'm stuck inside a house with shutters on.

 

[03cobra#694]

Sigh

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I'm golden again, not! They have know idea what this bitch is doing.

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

My wife won't stop watching the weather channel. She's freaking out because her dad and a lot of family live in West palm.

Her dad is not leaving either.
She's already told me to forget moving to Florida. It will never happen.

 

[03cobra#694]

My wife won't stop watching the weather channel. She's freaking out because her dad and a lot of family live in West palm.

Her dad is not leaving either.
She's already told me to forget moving to Florida. It will never happen.

Eh, come on down. I'd what till next week though. lol

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

Eh, come on down. I'd what till next week though. lol

I might be able to get a great deal on an ocean front slab?lol

I've always loved Florida and my goal was to retire there especially in the keys. We have been to key west and marathon many times and always had an awesome time.

Ps stay safe.

 

[2KBlackGT]

@03cobra#694 Maybe I missed it, but is there a reason you wont evacuate?

 

[DSG2003Mach1]

@03cobra#694 Maybe I missed it, but is there a reason you wont evacuate?

I don't think there's been an order for where he is, wrong coast I do believe

 

[2KBlackGT]

I don't think there's been an order for where he is, wrong coast I do believe

Ah, ok. If a mandatory evac is ordered do they go house to house checking if people left? What happens if they encounter a family that absolutely refuses to leave their home?

 

[DHG1078]

I think brad said even if he wanted to leave there is no way to get out in time.

 

[03Sssnake]

I think brad said even if he wanted to leave there is no way to get out in time.

Especially on a peninsula, it's pretty much total chaos and gridlock heading north. Now if my ass was right on the beach/coast with this monster headed right for me, then I'd try to get out or least a little ways north.